Only adults allowed to watch the Christmas play

[Cupofteaplease]

dd has just started in the nursery unit attached to the local primary school where I used to work as a TA. I know the head is very unfriendly towards the children (he has an attitude of his Ofsted outstanding school would be perfect if it wasn't for the pesky kids!)

The latest news is that only adults and secondary aged children are allowed to attend the Christmas play, and only 2 per child (which I understand). But this means, no babies, no toddler or pre-school aged children, no primary aged children who attend another scool (such as private, or a special needs school). Is it me, or is this a little anti-family, and therefore anti-Christmas?!

I realise the reasons could be space, and crying babies may distract the children, but there are 2 performances for Foundation stage, 3 for KS1 and 3 for KS2, so space shouldn't be a HUGE issues, and it just means that it makes life tricky for some people, especially single parents, who would have to find babysitters for younger children.

I don't know why I'm letting this bother me, as dd1 is in FS so her performances are during the day when I am at uni, so it is very unlikely I will be able to go anyway , but I just feel that it is odd. Does anyone else have this at their dc's school?

Sorry, I should have said, the performances are during the day and evening for KS1 and KS2, and under 11s are banned from all performances.

At DD's infant school it is 2 adults only because of the size of the small hall, there is also a classroom that is used as a creche for any children that need to be bought along, cupoftea is a creche avaiable at your school ??, I think this is a good idea as it stops other children distrupting the play by walking around the hall, fidgeting or crying.

I think that's fair enough.

Nothing worse than having to listen to someone else's baby/toddler screaming over the probably already nervous children trying to say their lines.

our school does offer a creche.

You'll get people on both sides on this one.
If this rule applied for us, DH & I couldn't both attend together, no one to mind our baby.
I think nearly all parents can manage to keep young children well-enough behaved, if asked (this is what our head-teacher does). And IMHO, it's only a Christmas play (FFS), some of the performers themselves are going to flub or cry or even have a disruptive strop. If the audience is under that much pressure to behave well, imagine what's expected of the poor participants?!

As much as I do understand that it is better not to have babies and toddlers at the performance, it means that I have to fork out GBP30.00 in babysitting fees so I can watch my daughter being a sheep for an hour!!!

I also feel a bit about it ...

Oh ok, if it is a common occurance, then I'll stop worrying!!

No a creche is not provided, and the hall is quite large, plus there is a total of 5 performances, so surely that is enough to fit in everyone who wants to attend (grandparents etc)? Plus, if I was taking my dd2, she would be sat on my lap, and obviously I would remove her if she were to start creating. I just thought it was mean spirited- after all, as lljkk says, it is just a primary school Christmas play!

But, I take on board that this is common in other schools too, thanks

i think having such a policy is very telling about the ethos of the school overall. i guess it depends on the fit between the parents and the school. our school is a chaotic, noisy, colourful school that above all is inclusive towards the kids and their families. that suits us but may not be what other families are looking for, fair enough. personally i think that involving brothers and sisters and the wider family in school events is really important and part of the joy. if the school were particularly concerned about disturbing performances a creche seems to be a good compromise.

I am going to have trouble going to see dd1 as Dorothy in their wizard of oz play as dd2 and 3 are not allowed to go

I agree puppydavies- as I have worked in the school previously I have seen how unwelcome parents are in all aspects of school life. Younger children even more so!

However, the school has a fantastic reputation locally, and parents just accept their lack of involvement as a small sacrifice for their children attending the school. I'm not sure how I feel about it all to be honest...

I really do not understand why they dont video the whole play and then sell the play to those that have small children who can't go and sit still.

At one school my eldest went to they did this and it was great - still have the video and it is a great keep sake for parents and grandparents.

Also helps to make money for the school and stops a some of the problems like this.....

I think it is a crap policy, and when my ds was in YR, i just brought my dd (aged 3) anyways, and had a defiant look on my face. I knew she would be fine (she was).

Thing is, the children they were banning are exactly the same children they were wanting to welcome in a few years time when they attended the school.

I am so so totally against banning children at these sorts of things - they are just as much a part of the family as mum or dad.

Our school now does a "family performance" and another one where they ask for no small children, but are not overly strict.

I hate that people put up with it too....imagine the outrage if the notice said "as we cannot accomodate for zimmer frames, we ask that no OAPs attend". People would go ballistic.

rant over

They may not be able to video the play & sell it because some parents will not give permission for their child to be videoed - should that child then be left out of the play? It's not their fault.

And if they have a creche, they have to have people to staff it - where do they sudenly come from?

Whatever a school does, they will get whinging parents. Let little children in & patents will whinge that they can't hear the lines. Ban them & they will complain they can't get a baby sitter.

At the junior school I work at, we have two performances for each year group's play - we usually ask that little children are brought to the afternoon performance, rather than the evening one, but we always get complaints.

We are currently no longer inviting parents to performance assemblies because of the complaints we got from parents at the Harvest Festival, where we had an unexpectedly large number - those at the back complained they couldn't see, those at the sides complained that they had to stand, and some of them complained about the mum breastfeeding her 3 year old during the assembly.

btw, it's not always young children in the audience that are badly behaved - at the Harvest assembly we had one parent pushing in front of others to video their child and then conducting an elaborate mime to tell him 'I've got you on video', completely distracting the next performer from their lines...

Rusty bear 'Whatever a school does, they will get whinging parents'

I hope my OP didn't come across as 'whinging'. I have taken on board that this is a common thing, I was surprised, that is all.

I won't be able to attend, as I am not available, I was thinking more of other parents.

Sorry,cupoftea, I didn't mean you were whinging, though I can see my post might have looked that way - I'm afraid I was thinking of some specific parents that I've had to deal with while helping out in the school office. Could have worded it beter

Not to worry!

It's not a family friendly policy, but it is respectful towards the children who are in the play. Squawking children in the audience are a real distraction to the children who are performing, and it also makes it very difficult to hear them (they are usually softly spoken without sound systemms).

The primary school that my DCs have gone to had a variety of policies over the years. From no younger children at all, to a chreche provided for younger children, to younger children being admitted to the dress rehearsal, to them being openly admitted.

TBH, the openly admitted is the worst situation. It is amazing how many parents let their children act up inappropriately, and don't take them out when they cannot stay quiet.

This argument rages every year.

The dc's school has one performance for adults only, and one where pre-schoolers are welcome.

Frankly there is nothing worse than trying to hear little ones say their lines or sing a song and it being drowned out by a shouting toddler. It is just RUDE of the parents to allow it. It is not funny, cute, endearing... There's one mother at the school who has a tribe of children and she looks round beaming when one shouts/squeals in a performance/assembly, as in "What do you do?!" What do you do? Take it out, that's what.

The only people I have ever known to disrupt a Christmas play have been adults gossiping to each other the moment their own offspring aren't on stage. Some people are totally unconsiderate like that. Do sometimes wonder if it wouldn't be best to ban parents from school performances, maybe just letting in a few well behaved siblings

inconsiderate, even

Not a problem for me as I only have the one DD, but there are always loads of small children at DD's school events - I've never noticed them being disruptive. As one poster said, the main disruptions tend to come from the tinies in the nursery class coming over in giggles, running to mum or just generally losing it.
I think it would be a shame if little ones weren't allowed to come, indeed I remember when DD was in the playgroup that we were all invited to bring our children to the dress rehearsal of the school play, DD really enjoyed seeing the 'big' children acting.

Oh I wished we had this rule at our school. the last nativity my son was ever in at primary was ruined by a screaming toddler.