Girls and friendships and problems at primary

[dinny]

Wasn't sure where to post this really - just can't decide what I need to do, if anything, and thought I would run it past you all!

Background - highly dominant girl in dd's class (y2) - have posted about the issue before

dd has never been in her "gang" - some of her friends are. school tried to address the issue of gangs last year with playground pals etc, but have a new teacher AND new head this year and it has petered out.

dd is popular and confident, but when this girl X is around she won't let her join in the gang, which dd doesn't challenge (as she is quite a softy)

what I want to know is - should the school be doing something about this? is it just the way it is with girls? am I too pfb?

dd isn't actually UPSET, she seems to have sussed out that X is surrounded by sheep, iyswim, who are scared to stand up to her

argh, just worried am missing something/or it's hurting her self-esteem (though she is gaining confidence/doing well at school all the time etc)

wwyd?

Well done dinny, that sounds like just what you needed to hear. I feel certain that she will be aware of this girl's behaviour, they don't miss much good teachers.

Pleased to hear the teacher was understanding.

Bet you feel a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

totally do, thank you SO much all of you for the support

I feel there is an opening now that if it does happen again, she will be on the case and take further action

Actually I'm quite professionally confident and assertive but my son has had TERRIBLE self-esteem/bullying problems, so it doesn't necessarily follow.

When I was at school I was myself terribly insecure and lacking in confidence. I had problems making friends and was picked on.

But I have managed to get through professional life by pretending that I am confident and popular. Complete bluff. And hard to explain to children.

abraid - maybe most people do pretend?

I think perhaps you're right, dinny. It just takes us some of us longer than others to figure this out!

I don't know, dinny, I know some people who are naturally very swishy and confident. And there were always very confident kids at school.

must be something you're either born wth or not - and if you're not, you have to fake it! or not!