AIBU to expect my 8yr DS to be able to write the alphabet?? bit of a rant sorry!!

[peonyflower]

I know that every child is different but I really feel that by year 4 it would not be too much to expect school to have taught him how to form all his letters including capitals.

To cut it short - DS has a twin brother who has 'got' the alphabet and feel that other twin is no less bright than the other but is really being held back by the fact that he cannot write properly.

Problem twin (DT1 as not a 'problem') has been moved down a year group for some English and Maths which I appreciate will help him but I'm also really concerned that this is a move in the wrong direction from a confidence and self esteem point of view. DT1 feels that this feels like starting the previous year all over again too!!

School say this is a policy decision and admit it is a bit of an experiment. I was told by the head 'sorry you don't like it' and made to feel a bit of a trouble maker...
I would like the DTs educated in the same year group. I realise they will be streamed one day but this will still mean that they are educated with children of their own age!

Am I going mad?

personally I would be wondering if there is something amiss.
it seems unlikely that it is the schools fault for not teaching him properly. otehrwise all the other kids would be the same surely??

don't know though, I would prob ask the school if they feel there may be a problem that he needs some help with?
doesn't necessarily mean he isn't bright, btw. he could be very bright, but just be lacking the fine motor skills needed or soemthing?

But surely you want both your ds to get the best education possible?

Would you rather he was in the correct year group for his calendar age and struggled?
If he had stayed in the same year group as his brother he would have constantly been behind and consequently would have missed out on some valuable areas in his education.

Yes, his self esteem may be dented now, but no more than if he had stayed in the same year group as his brother and was constantly struggling to keep up.

I disagree. I think a good school should be able to differentiate what and how they teach for pupils at different levels, and if necessary have 1-1 or small group work for children with particular problem areas. do you mean that he doesn't know the alphabet at all, or that he has motor issues with writing?

thanks
think you may be right about the fine motor skills, have thought that before as he struggles with small lego and hammo bead things.
I am going to get a handwriting book and do one to one with him as school seem to say that they have tried and tried and just not getting anywhere.

On the 'brightness' point = feel that DT1 is really bright but moving him down a class is having a detrimental effect on his confidence.

Do you think IABU to want him to stay in his year group. Get the feeling this is a money related teaching assistant-share arrangment at school that I haven't quite got to the bottom of.

I don't think you are at all unreasonable to be unhappy about him being moved down a year for some work. Have you spoken to senco (teacher who specialises in special educational needs) at all about this? also would have thought in this day and age your DS could use a computer to produce some of his work.

Has he been assessed for any sld's or is he on School Action ? ds is 10 and can't consistently reproduce the alphabet either verbally or written - he's dyspraxic. In other areas he is age appropriate or beyond. Surely it is better to allow him to go at his own pace rather than flounder, epseically with a twin to comapre himself directly to. Whether in practice this means being taught with a group from the year below will vary from one school to another.

I would see if you could get a "SENCO" to see him.This is a "Special educational needs co-ordinator".They can see children for all sorts of learning issues,even though the "Label" means your child has learning issues it doesn't mean they are "stupid" IYKWIM.(dd has severe delays and low IQ,so slightly different,as she has been statemented from young age) but the SENCO is there for all sorts of learning issues.It is worth talking to the school re this to get appropriate help.

Our school mixes the years up according to ability, they say that the little groups are coming on great as they are all at the same level working away and not feeling inferior to the other children that get the answer instantly, while they take a while to work it out.
I would ask whether they are concerned about your ds tbh. It is just him, or are there other similar boys with this problem?

LIZS . Hi, he is on the first level of Special Needs (can't remember what it is called but school action sounds familiar).

I can see that he is better to learn at his own level and would hate him to struggle with his peers. It's just that my other two DDs who attended the same school always had mixed ability classes which worked well. These classes included kids with statements of special needs and there was an emphasis on inclusion and plenty of support from TAs.

He cannot form all the letters properly and teacher feels that he has just learnt these wrongly!

Feel I cannot get him moved but need a plan of action to make some progress and get something positive out of the situation. Thinking of getting a progress chat with them every couple of weeks so I can be more on top of it all?

lizs and wrinkly seem to have covered pretty much all i was going to say
My ds1 is dyslexic and can't write the alphabet either, he is 8 next month. He is on school action and a whole heap of dyslexia-specific support programmes, IEP (individual education plan), the works. If your dt is working with children of a different age range then surely he must have an IEP as well - which you have to sign?
Certainly worth a conversation with the senco, if only to ascertain their aims and the reasons for them [if i make sense?]

Hello peonyflower. I don't know your children, so obviously anything I say is just an offered perspective. Schools really vary in effectiveness. Most children (something like 80%) will learn to read, whatever the method, whatever the skill of the practitioners, pretty quickly. That leaves some children who will need a bit more help. It's possible that your child's school is indeed not terribly effective, or subtle, enough, to really get your child going. Hence your experience of child 1 being O. K. but child 2 not. So it may indeed be a structural issue with the school/teaching.
Friends of mine have used a book called something like "The Literacy Hour" or "The Reading Room" (something like that, I'm afraid you'll have to google it and get it over the internet,), taught the child at home and had very good results.
It's also possible that your child is one of a small minority who need more attention. If this is the case, the whole moving down a year thing is really, really odd. It suggests the school thinks your child has a learning difficulty but isn't it then more normal to talk about professional assessments and special needs provision first? Shouldn't he have been initially assigned a learning mentor rather than this rather drastic action? And have they not said anything sooner?
It suggests a school with rather limited funds and other resources at the very least. Not good for you or your child.
I think if you have an intuition about this, you should explore it. Maybe the first step would be to press for an professional assessment by the education authority which might make things a little clearer. It's in the school's interest to support you in that because if there is a problem, there is funding attached to any statement of that problem.
I can see no reason why the school should not be supportive.
Good luck and I hope it turns out well.

btw as you mention it, if your dt has an IEP they review it every few months, approx termly IME. That would help you to keep on top of where things are up to

I would agree,umm,but the OP has mentioned motor issues.If this has been dx as something like dyspraxia then it would be wise to consult SENCO,and additionally Gp.Maybe I am paranoid!The first port of call is the teacher for honest opinion,I feel.

My ds is also 8. on the Special Needs register because of his motor skills and difficulty with forming the letters. Not the school's fault that he hasn't learned IMO.

Though I am glad that he is taught with other children of the same age- just a lower set- as I think teaching him with the younger ones would knock his selfconfidence. Though probably less than having to work with his peers in top set.

Also the teacher is going to work with him on the whiteboard/laptop to let him produce more work quicker, so his general learning is not held back.

I'd see the SENCO if I were you.

Sorry, didn't see you later posts, peony flower.

UMM
Think you may have answered something for me. School have just introduced this so it seems too new and raw. If whole school had done it for a while it would have been more acceptable.
Other thing is that kids in years 3 and 4 are put together ie kids from 3 can go up to 4 and vice versa but the cream of year 4 do not go up to year 5.
don't understand that son who is in year 4 but learning at year 3 level will be in year 5 next year and presumably still behind the year 5's but nowwhere to go down to as year 5 and 6 put together

sounding thick here - what is dispraxia please?

btw DTs do Kumon English but feel this is not helping DT1 although DT2 has flourished on it......

Only read OP....

I have an extended nervous tick of writing the alphabet compulsively (hardly know I am doing it but the evidence is everywhere ) that, I believe stems from an incident at about 8. First PC in the classroom (which probably ages me quite accurrately!) and I am asked up to demonstrate/ have a go on the word processing bit. I say 'I don't know what to write', teacher says 'Write the alphabet I don't know the alphabet, everyone laughs....AM is scarred for life.

Anyway, I am considered bright and have achieved academically despite this, and was also kept back for classes around the same time. This was due to a general disconnection with school and learning and if I'm honest, the world at large, I think. Things fell into place at about 11/12.

Dyspraxia

may appear like clumsiness, lack of co-ordination, difficulties with remembering stuff, fine motor problems. All on the link,
hth

Giggle
Just went off to see your link - seems to fit my DT quite well. disorganised and very scruffy uncontrolled writing. Although, not too clumsy?
Should I get him assessed? If so, by a GP or school?

Accidental - so sorry to hear of your experience. Just shows what an impact even the smallest event can have on you and your whole feeling of self. Brilliant you have overcome it.

whichever is likely to DO something. Perhaps mention to both [don't know if that is the accepted thing to do but hey you need something doing]
We find school more organised and active with this sort of stuff, and tbh they do have access to more testing and can refer on. You also have powers to request an assessment, as others have also mentioned. off to see if there's a link to that in my bookmarks - back in a mo

also take a squint at the british dyslexia assoc if it would help? some parts are quite similar

Cheers Giggle.
Have found loads of help here. Thanks to everyone as now feel more level about this.
Can understand that DT needs to be where he is (maybe) and perhaps a prof assessment would help us all stop pushing this poor DT through hoops he just might not be ready for...

got it
parent partnerships are fab. if you get no sense from the school, go to them. Or go anyway for support, we did!!