Just interested in Mumsnetters opinions about a conversation heard in DS's school

[Bowddee]

My DS's TA was standing at the classroom door, ticking off the kids as they went in as they seemed to be making sure all parents had signed consent forms for school trips.

One little lad goes in...

TA - ahh, we haven't had a consent form from you.

Dad - no, we don't want X taken on school trips.

TA - oh yes, we need to talk about that. We can't allow children to stay in school when we're out on trips.

Dad - That won't be a problem, we can keep him home on those days.

TA - That would be an unauthorised absence.

2 things struck me as odd-

1. I feel sorry for the poor little lad being left out of trips.

1. Can the school really give no alternative?

I'm just interested to know what other people think.

I tried to argue it bran, as did a few other parents, that it was a badly thought out trip, too long travelling for yr1, etc, etc, all that was ignored, so I offered to keep them home,...no, that wasn't acceptable either, so they went, but I'm slightly ashamed to say I refused to pay on the grounds that the trip obviously wasn't voluntary, and therefore should be funded by the school.

The dad is asian. Being a bit thick about religions I did wonder if there might be a concern about lunchtime. I know some religions stick to certain diets, but everyone I know (of several religions) eat anything anyway. A close muslim friend has to hide bacon when her dad comes round.

[sigh] This is all ahead of me, isn't it? DS just started reception this month and already we are having unauthorised absence trouble (DH booked a flight that leaves on DS last day of term). Much more trouble ahead obviously.

Janni - I've only ever seen the dad in the mornings, so I'm trying to track the little lad at hometime to see who picks him up. I standing more chance of chatting at pick up time!

it shouldn't be a problem if his attendance is normally good bran. What are the school saying?

I think you get away with a certain amount of Unauthorised Absence anyway don't you? A couple of days a year wouldn't trigger any action by the school I wouldn't have thought.

DH hasn't told them, he's pretty arrogant about school generally. I am NOT getting involved, I will say nothing and see how it plays out. All comments by the school will be directed to DH as I told him it was a bad idea. I think DS will be a little disappointed though as there will be a concert on the last day.

I think they should provide something if children don't want to go on school trips. Maybe the parents are concerned about safety out of school, or don't want their DS travelling on a coach?

forget it bran, take a sick day, they do nothing in the last week, never mind the last day.

Just ring him in sick Bran

Or does he just need the afternoon off? Just ask the teacher.

Unauthorised Absence is fairly toothless unless it's habitual.

(Admittedly it's not great at secondary if you want to get into an over-subscribed college or get an apprenticeship).

I do think, though, that school trips are important - & kids love them - so unless there's a good reason to exclude your child, it seems like a v odd thing to do.

The cost shouldn't be an issue - schools aren't allowed to exclude children whose parents can't afford to pay. There's a fund to cover it.

I'm not doing ANYTHING, creative excuses will be up to DH as he booked the flight. It's a bit sad that DS will be thinking that he's going to perform in a concert and then at the last minute he won't. But considering he's only in reception I doubt it's going to rival the Vienna Boys' Choir anyway.

Extra annoyingly (for DH anyway) is that he booked that particular flight so that he could travel back to Malaysia with his brother and his family, but they have changed their dates now anyway and are flying back a few days later. So it will just be DH and DS on the flight, and DS often requires a lot of amusing. [evil grin]

Actually, I just had a thought that perhaps the little boy in the OP might be a very bad traveller. DS gets horrendously travel sick, if he goes on school trips in the future he will have to have a change of clothes with him, as will anyone sitting near him. The volume and sheer force is breathtaking.

DS1 is a terrible traveller and I wouldn't want him on a a coach for more than an hour (neither would he) he really would barf everywhere. You might be right Bran.

so where is the trip anyway?

SlartyBArtFast - There's no specific trip set, it's just a general consent form that the parents have refused to sign.

that is interesting, they must have their own point of view on the matter

Ds used to find school trips very stressful. In Y3 he actually jumped off the coach just before the door closed and ran off down the road. (He's seen me walking back from dropping DS2 at nursery)His teacher had to literally drag him back onto the coach. Maybe this child doesn't cope well with transitions/new experiences?

Raven ak....at our ds secondary school(and at the primary) if you didnt pay you didnt go - simple as.

very wrong imo

secondary school has share day where the students pay £4 to wear there own clothes and attebd a disco at lunchtime (only this year no music was played ) and another £4 to go on a run during lesson time if you dont pay you wear your uniform and take lessons.

another moan is that most trips involve the cinema so you send your £10 for the trip plus another £7 for drink and popcorn then the day before receive a letter saying your child would benefit from missing the trip and studying,no mention of reimbursement or prior arrangement......i sent a letter back saying it would be beneficial if the teacher taught during the lessons instead of crying and getting another staff member to come and dole out detentions -when its one student disrupting the class.

there=their sorry

I know a lad in year 4 who always misses out on school trips, his parents just don't send in the consent form(or money but school would rather he attends without payment than not go) He is always "sick" on the trip day but always back and fine the next day.
I relly feel for him as he misses so much. He does all the work in class and doesnt get the fun reward (trip) at the end.

maybe some kids don't enjoy school trips

my dd finds them fairly daunting

i still make her go though

Silly line to take about the Unauthorised Absence.

It looks worse for the school than it does for the parent - I can't imagine Ofsted approving.

Well, the gov is now focussing on persistent absence, so unauthorised absence will be out soon. I think it makes more sense.