Worried about summer born

[Kidsdeferralsummer]

I have a bright summer born DD, who we didn't defer and is starting Year 1. We had the opportunity to repeat reception at a different school (as i looked into CSA starts) but decided not to because she seems to be doing well academically in Reception ( was extended etc). Socially she seemed OK, has a couple of closer friends but still would be nervous at playgrounds for example when I take her to them and soemtimes says she has no friends at school. 1-1 playdates and small groups she does well and is very confident.

I am now having a huge huge worry that we should have let her repeat reception since the opportunity was there, even though she is already reading chapter books and has a high maths aptitude..I keep reading online about the statistics, and people saying that summer borns will struggle all through GSCE, summer borns never catch up etc and can't help but worry that I have subjected her to more stress through her schooling years by virtue of being younger.

This is esp as we are in a 11+ area so my husband and I will look to have her do 11+, if she is also keen, which means she will be among the youngest.
. My husband and I both did well at school and in uni.

Any tips please for 1) how to support a summer born at school, 2) how to basically get over this worry and not project it to my daughter? I am not sure if we can even repeat reception now at this stage as that school spot is now gone.

Thanks in advance.

My DD is summer born. We didn't defer - she was definitely ready for school. She may have been slightly behind socially, but a late ND diagnosis in her 20s I think was the likely cause. She got highest results in SATs, mostly 9s at GCSE, 3A*s at A level and just graduated with a first class degree.

The only time her being young in her year definitely was a negative was Y13 and into her first years at uni (she a really restarted her degree the next year following a temporary break the Christmas of her first year. She was at a definite disadvantage of having to wait to start driving, not being able to go to pubs and clubs with the rest of her year. This was all so new to her when she started uni.
I think I would recommend deferring uni for a year rather than reception!

If she's already on top of the academic side I wouldn't worry about her becoming part of those GCSE statistics.

On the social side, talk to the school. I'd leave it a couple of weeks so her new teacher has time to get to know her and then ask for a meeting if it is really affecting her, or wait until her first parents evening but pop them an email beforehand saying this is something you'd like to talk about so that you can support her social development. You should be able to figure out together where she struggles socially, and that will give you an idea how you can help her.

What really helped my daughter (mid year birthday), was teaching her a script to initiate play (eg. "Can I play too?", seems so simple it's almost silly, I know, but she really needed this). This was initiated by school last year in Reception, but we talked about it and incorporated it into play at home. It made a huge difference and not long after she was able to make a proper, good friend. I also watched her use the script with two girls she doesn't usually play with this week in the playground after school. My jaw dropped. She'd obviously egged herself on to do it, and I'm sure having explicitly practicing it made it easier. DH looked so pleased when I told him.

My son is summer born and it never occurred to me to hold him back - he was soooo ready! He’s not an academic at all but socially was there. I don’t think delaying him would have done him any good, and there were quite a number of late July/August kids in his year and they all did well.
Your kid could be the oldest in the class and still say the same about friends.

My son has actually thanked us recently for going through the process of CSA entry as at 13 he has realised he’ll be the first in his friendship group to start driving. He loves cars so would have hated waiting. I feel that a year of going out socially at home will make him safer at university (based on my experience many years ago).

Dropped my mid-August born baby(!) for her first day of Senior school this morning, she’s a head taller than most of her cohort and comfortably achieved grammar qualifying scores in the 11 plus (although she’s not going to grammar school).
I had the same worry as you @Kidsdeferralsummer especially as she was born early but aside from being very tired in reception it’s not affected her in the slightest

I am a summer born, and have a child who is also
For me- I went to a public school till year 7 and then went to state- my love of learning was lost- mainly because I had already been taught most of the curriculum until year 9 of the state school and I was bored. I never really recovered
My DD is in year 2- she is thriving in maths and reading compared to her peers- we play lots of maths games and don't allow very much TV time, and she has no access to other technology.... She normally goes into the year above for maths and English at school as she needs to be stretched (sometimes they send her into the year below to help some that are struggling).... Which is helping with her leadership skills....

This isn't any useful advice as such but my son's best friend was born very late August, and stayed n the 'correct' year. He gets just about 100% in every single subject and always has, he's flying academically, hasn't affected him at all he's just started year 11. So just to say, not all late summer babies will struggle.

Have you spoken to the school regarding your concerns? Is she meeting expectations academically?

I've worked in primary schools for 13/14 years now, and we hear 'X has told me they don't have any friends' or 'X told me they have no one to play with at lunchtime'. I'd say 9 times out of 10, that's not correct at all. In the majority of cases the child does have friends at school, they are playing with children at lunchtime or they are refusing to play because the other children won't play their game!!!

All children develop at different rates, regardless if they're summer born or not. Your daughter will find her own level and be perfectly fine.

I thought being summer-born was an advantage in the 11+ entrance exam for grammar schools, as standardized scores are adjusted for age in the final score. I saw parents in this forum complaining about the disadvantage faced by their autumn-born children!

Besides, accelerated learning (like skipping grades) can benefit children's learning, so summer-born children have this advantage of accelerated learning, similar to almost skipping a grade.

So it would be so ridiculous to me to let your DC lag behind a grade!

Even as parent to 2 summer borns 1 deferred and the other who should have- i think you are over egging it.
yours is fine!
However i dont think a small age adjustment is fixing the summer borns disadvantage as grammar and other independent schools dont have equal nunbers of different month born kids…

my deferred is doing ok- it wont push a kid to the top of the year.

SOME summer-borns do struggle, but not all. If she's doing well academically already, I don't think you need to worry; it's the ones who enter year 1 a bit behind who are likely to find it harder to catch up. Repeating reception is potentially useful if it enables a child who has made a slow start to catch up before joining year 1. Repeating reception if she's on course would not achieve anything, except possibly some boredom.

Mine was not only summer-born, but should have been born late September. She was absolutely fine being youngest in the year group (now at uni).

Thanks All, yes I have spoken to her teacher who said that emotionally she is still very young which can have an impact on friendship groups. Academically she is ahead. The reason for repeating reception is to help on the emotional development.

It's hard to be positive as there's lots of doom and gloom online and statistics about summer born

I would not repeat YR and have her make friends all over again. Surely she’s cracking on with reading too if she’s bright? We are 11 plus county and they do Standardise marks so no real disadvantage. Confidence grows as they settle in and if she’s ok academically I see no point in repeating. My DD is summer born and got a place at Oxford, as did 3 other summer born school friends from primary - none deferred . DD would have been bored stiff repeating too as she was flying with reading etc.

I rather feel you think you would have given her an 11 plus advantage by starting later. So gaming the system when there was no need to educationally or socially.

We deferred ds, and it was def the right decision- socially and academically.

But with your daughter I wouldn't. If she's reading chapter books at the start of Yr 1 I really think she'll be bored if she repeated reception where most kids will be sounding out letters.

Most research of positives of CSA start is much stronger for boys - academically and socially/ emotionally. I would say you made the right decision, trust it.

11+ scores are weighted for age, so being a July birthday, even if she gets the same raw score as a September birthday child, her standardised scores will be higher due to her birth month, and it's the age adapted standardised scores that is used.
So it's better for her to stay in the current year group for this reason. If you keep her behind she'll be older than everyone else and may not be able to sit the 11+ as she'll be out of her year group. You'd have to check with your local authority on this.

Just looked at the rules for repeating a year in my LA. The child must have an educational delay and there must be evidence to support this. So it’s not just a case of wanting it. The 11 plus is taken based on actual age too. If they agree otherwise there’s usually been illness or pupil being taught abroad. It’s again, not just a case of getting in more years at school to game the system.

I think when this is discussed there can sometimes be this stance that July and August children are competing with September and October and I don’t think that’s really true; there will be children of varying ages in the class and probably a small handful at most who are at the top end of the age spectrum.

I would only consider deferring if school was fast approaching and my DC wasn’t potty trained, still needed a daytime nap, still had tantrums etc. I think both extremes of the age range can struggle a bit but it’s rarely talked about for the autumn borns.

Statistically, over thousands of children, summer borns for slightly less well than autumn borns. Just like statistically, C-section babies are slightly more likely to be asthmatic than vaginal birth babies.

Does that mean we should start routinely treating all C-section babies for asthma even when they have no symptoms at all of asthma?

Your child is fine in her current year group. She does not need to be deferred.

1 summer born DS now aged 32. 1 winter DS

it comes down, as always to a whole lot of other mixed factors as to whether this will effect your daughter. Parenteral support, sleep, use of devices, friendship groups and a stack of other stuff you can and can’t influence. You could hold her back a year as she seems “young” but then find she is deeply effected by friendship group she is trying to make, moving on without her! Focus on what you can do which is provide parental support - in early years this has massive impact , and establish good bedtime and sleep habits and good diet. most of these things mitigate for the statistical normal variation of outcomes for summer born kids.

my late august son, graduated at 20, got a job on milk round with civil service in Whitehall and then has had 2 roles since in private sector, one literally starting today which is hugely competitive…it’s not held him back one jot. I put it down to good sleep at school, no devices in bedrooms, lots of exercise, a lot of parenteral support (im passionate about nurturing curiousity) and then just some good luck that his friendship groups as teen and young adult were pretty good. He went to local state comprehensive, so nowt special . Both DS have had similar outcomes, it made no difference when they started school. Maybe, because they’d both gone to nursery aged 6months, part time (maternity leave was only 6 months back then), and they were already well socialised, doing basic of pre resding etc before they entered local school at 4 and a bit, (albeit with their nursery friends which helped)

the only downside I tell DS to being August “baby” , is that as graduate he started working at 20, and will have to work more time therefore than other grads with sept birthdays, before his state pension kicks in 🤣

Op, stop doom -scrolling….

mums will always find stuff on line to worry themselves over completely unnecessarily trends and generalisations or latest theories.

it’s the parents that don’t give a stuff, no parenteral support or encouragement or those in very hard circumstances not of own making, that can do little to offset the age factor. And even then it’s not a given, it’s a statistical level of probability in a normal distribution curve.

the fact you’re worrying isa way stronger mitigating correlation to say she will be just fine, as is your own educational background.

have some faith in your own parenting abilities and stop reading the bloody internet on generalities and age hysteria.