I knew it would happen one day and now I'm a little bit upset re. PFB (7 yr old) primary situation and need very serious talking to please

[eekamoose]

Out and about with DD and two of her best friends from school at weekend. The two best friends were talking about the Rainbow Fairies books and how many they have:

"I've got 5"

"Well I've got 6"

"Well I've got 7, actually"

"Oh no I've just remembered, I've got 8 actually" and so on.

DD has none of these books and I'm not sure she's ever read one, don't think they have them at school.

Anyway, in a quiet moment DD says to me "Mummy I feel left out because I don't know what they're talking about". Feels like a physical pain in my heart to hear this but about a year ago a good friend of mine warned me off the Rainbow Fairy books, she said they were so dull they'd make you want to cry.

Now I do not want DD to feel freakishly left out but nor do I want to buy endless (hundreds?) of rubbishy books just so she can be "in with the in crowd".

Am aware that this will be the first of many dilemmas I face as parent re. conforming/not conforming. I told her that I thought that the Rainbow Fairy books were boring and too young for her.

But should I have just swallowed my own middle class literary pride and bought her a few from e-bay?

Am so grrrr grrrr and grrrrr that manufacturers and marketers can so cynically churn out collectable items like this just so 7 year olds can compete with each other ...

I definitely agree that going to the library and sampling the books is an excellent idea.

It took me a while with my dc but I realised eventually that the books children read don't all have to be worthy or improving. We all like to read a bit of trash now and again. Don't we? Tell me I'm not the only one!

Marina, 21yo dd1 is taking me to see 'Angus' when we get home. She is quite disturbed they've used a Persian cat as Angus and not a Maine Coon or even a half breed Scottish Wildcat.

(But in the Mr Men books there is always the fun of looking for the cameo worm appearance).

in the rainbow books there are 'hidden' letters that make up a word - think of the fun!

islandofsodor - that is incredibly kind of you, and very apt as dd's name is the same as that first fairy in the series! Will email you tomorrow.

hi suedonim - I absolutely agree that however worthy your normal reading list might be, a bit of light trash is excellent relief at times! Recently I have been a bit heavy on the trash and a bit light on the worthy (= mummy brains).

eekamoose - Libraries are a wonderful resource - if you still have one in your area you should support it if poss to prevent your council closing it down and then your DD can read these books without having to own them, as others have pointed out.

QUote of the week surely "But you have spoken and I heed your words"

I should get her a library ticket as quickly as possible! If she can read she should be choosing her own books.

Wow - I think I also need to heed your words everyone - my 1st reaction was, "tough, she'll get over it".

But then I spent most of my childhood being left out because I didn't have the same stuff as the others (eg cabbage patch dolls) and although I hated being left out, I didn't actually really want the doll.

Food for thought for me then.

But am also wondering if it's because it's books that everyone says "get some".

If it had been a bright pink barbie would everyone have said yes?

My line with things that I find truly aesthetically repellent (such as mutant superheroes with too many limbs, or plastic ponies with floor length manes, sparkly hooves and their own makeup kits fergodsake) is that if they want it that badly they can spend their own money on it.

Barbies I'm cool with in practice (though I do instinctively hate them). Most of the time Barbies just seem to get chucked off the top bunk in wierd parachute experiments, or used to bring up the rear in pitched battles with legions of bionicles and plastic dinosaurs. There's something about the genre subversion of that which quite appeals to me.

The thing with the library ticket is that you can have them and take them back! She may find out she doesn't like the Rainbow books but at least she will know what they are talking about. I was a bookworm as a DC and thought the library was fantastic! I wouldn't have enjoyed being stuck with what my mother thought I should read or not read.
My DSs all had library tickets from about 9 mths old.

OMG I hated those rainbow fairy books. Tehy are nauseating drivel and I think dd read them all. Luckily they had them at our school library so I didn't buy them but I have bought other crap books she wanted to have. Mary-Kate and Ashley Trenchcoat Twins books spring to mind.

I wouldn't get het up about the rainbow fairy books, they won't maim her for life. The worst of it is if (like me) you have to listen to her read them aloud. Now that is bad. You just try and balance this sort of tripe with other books.

My dd has to go to McDonalds once in a while to collect some plastic junk or other they sell with their happy meals because everyone at school has them. I find to an extent you do have to just go along with some of it, even if you feel you should be resisting.

actually in an idiotic weak moment I bought some stupid cheerleading dvd last week because they are all practising cheers at school and dd wanted to have it. OMG it was so bad.
I couldn't understand anything they were saying either. It was all American slang that was totally meaningless to me and even with the subtitles on, I was lost. Thankfully dd was only interested in the jumping around.

You do lower your standards with time I have found.

eekamoose, I cannot really get excited. I would not buy her the library, but will probably just get one or two, so she can see what it is about and talk to her friends about. The rest she can save up to buy out of pocket money or do chores.

It is fine to have a few trashy things. Lots of children get into reading from comics. It all goes to building up the interest.

Why buy books you don't want when you can use the library?

I buy (English) books I don't want Abbey because I'm overseas and couldn't get them in a library.

I agree with the others that say go to the library so she can try them out first. She may discover for herself that they are dull and then have the confidence to not feel left out as it's her choice not to read them.

I will excuse you then SSSandy2!!
I can see your reluctance if you have to buy them.

I love this thread. It's exactly the sort of dilemma I have with my dds. I am good on the lofty "rainbow fairies are substandard commercialised pap not literature" line.

DDs are 8,6 and 4 and have no rainbow fairy books, but they did borrow one from the library once. That seems to have been enough for them.

but we had similar mini bursts of angst with Dr Who (I thought they were too young but everyone at school was talking about it) and with Fruit Winders (everyone has them in their lunchboxes...) and many other things.

just buy them. She needs to learn that situations can be resolved, people are generous and sometimes you can get more upset by things you don't understand and then when you find out you see it wasn't worth all the fuss. It doesn't really matter if the books are dull, cos then she won't want 8 of them

You don't need to buy any at all. Let her read them as library books. If she really really loves them, she can buy them from pocket money or borrow a friend's.

I'm surprised her school doesn't have any, they are just the sort of rubbish books most schools buy to encourage weaker readers or those who don't/won't read more traditional books.

I remember listening to readers at school and having girl after girl come out with this drivel. Sadly, it didn't even seem to encourage them as readers.

That's where libraries win, your children get to exercise their own choice and you don't have to buy endless rubbish!

In that situation I would have got some from ebay. Why not? I don't have a problem spending money on books at all.

It's troublesome isn't it? Thankfully DD is too young for this yet but 5 yo niece puts on performances of High School Musical complete with truly nauseating American twang when she sings. (disclaimer: accent nauseating when 5yo tries it, not on real Americans!).

A 3 yo mindee of mine a few years back opened the door to me and said 'I'm a spice girl Eyeballs!'. I nearly cried...

Two issues, aren't there? As eekamouse herself pointed out.

1. Rainbow Fairies: yes, library, don't buy. They're not only the very same plot over and over and over again, they take precisely 22 minutes to read, start to finish. So, like Narnian Turkish delight, you want another one at once. However many you have on your shelf, it is never actually enough .... And, because they are such a publishing phenomenon, libraries have near-endless stocks.

1. "I feel left out": much bigger issues. Is this the first time she's felt left out, or admitted it to you? Has she before now been quite an individualist, & not needed to follow the herd? Or have there been other things? (What the answers to those are depend on the next bit of the discussion .)

thread hijack, Sobernow. What IS the best skipping rope? I am looking for one for dd. Some of them are so light and rubbish.