Have you been told about next year's classes yet? Composites? Numbers? Teacher? Friends?

[teslagirl]

A small part of me want to type Grrr. There, I've done it. I mean, the schools KNOW what they're going to do already so WHY NOT TELL US! Whilst I'm aware the obvious unspoken reason is "To give you parents less time to launch complaints", the reality is we have a pretty good idea what they'll do so please don't keep us hanging on!

It affects both DSs. We have an Infants and on-site but different school Juniors arrangement.

Briefly, DS1 was amongst the first to be 'composited', Y3/4, as there are only 43 DCs in his year and the schools operate a 2 form entry (max 60-ish). He's now a '4' in a 3/4, having been a '3' in a 3/4 last year. But WHAT are they doing next year? Rumour Control speaks of 'pure' yr 5s- so there MUST be more incomers we don't know about. Yet, for some of us, we'd prefer an ongoing composite (Y5/6) as we don't LIKE many of DS1's year group contemporaries! My view of the potential success of next year will be seriously shaped by exactly which of his year group he will find himself with! The good and studious who will 'bring him along' or the.. Others?

DS2 is going into Juniors. We pretty much know they'll be composited, Y3/4. It's less of an issue EXCEPT- and I'm on dangerous ground here- there are just a couple of DSs whom I'm keen for DS2 NOT to be with but of course I won't know whom til July 4th! Also, it'd be handy, practically speaking, to be able to foster friendships between DS2 and his Y3 classmates over the summer IF I knew who they were!

WHY, really, all the secrecy? And guesswork? The 'pure yr 5' thing has been guessed at because a teacher told his class he was 'having a Yr 5 next year'. And none of the DCs have been asked to list their 2 best friends for class division purposes. WHY?

Oh NINE, Christ, well, they're hardened little gangsters at nine aren't they?

AAAARRGGGGGHHHHH! These are tiny little mites, they barely understand any profanities they use, they are just trying to be shocking and the poor things probably aren't getting any reaction at home so they try to act all "hard" when what they long for is a hug. Why don't you invite some round for tea or something?

Georgie, I'd be happy TO KNOW who he'll be in a class with next year. I wish to heavens I COULD handpick!

"Give me the boy at 7 and I'll show you the man"

Heard that one?

Its hard when you don't run the school

Why should I be American?

teslagirl you is a control freak (or frake as cod would say)

Frankly I'd rather my children learnt that this kind of behaviour exists when they're still in the infants (and yes I do have a ds, and yes mine are at inner-city primary schools where a small but noisy minority come in pretty feral aged 3, F-ing and blinding and kicking and spitting).

At 4 or 5 you can teach your own dc to roll their eyes at this kind of carry on. If they're sensible kids they will see very quickly that this is not big and not clever, that it doesn't make the teacher or the nice children like you. You can reinforce at home with lots of stories about "yes, what a shame, Jack doesn't know how to behave, well some children find it hard and aren't you lucky that your mum and dad take you out for nice trips to the zoo and help you with your reading." My ds aged 5 had decoded the semiotics of the 'No. 2 crop accessorised with a diamond earstud and a torrent of swearwords' look and decided that it wasn't for him.

If you keep them in too much of a protected enviroment, you run the risk that they won't discover the glamour of being bad until they're 13 or 14 by which time they will be much less inclined to take notice of any opinions you might have.

No, I'm actually I don't consider myself to benot a control freak, I'm a mum who is aware of the good and detrimental influence a peer group has on an impressionable 9 year old.

Some Jesuit nonsense which means nothing?

Lock em up then, clearly a toe rag at seven is just a criminal in the making.

Why does it matter? When will this stop? You won't know who else will be in his class in year seven when he feeds into senior school (unless only your primary feeds into the secondary, which I doubt) and you won't even know one person on his floor in halls when he goes to uni (unless you and your friends stitch that up in advance, I have heard of it). Sooner or later he will have to mix with people who are not as nice, whose parents are not as nice, and learn from that. I appreciate that you are acting out of love but you are doing him no favours.

Actually it's '"Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man," which is based on a quote by Francis Xavier, a 16th century Jesuit priest

Yes, yes, we know that teslagirl, but we're talking about real life

Yes, but if you insist on having your son in a school as opposed to home educating, then you are by default accepting that the school has to arrange class arrangements etc around the needs of all children, and that you can't expect any preferential treatment for your child unless they have special needs.

I do feel a bit about your feeling the need to know which are his future classmates so you can foster friendships over the summer. Can't he just play with friends because he likes them, regardless of whether they are going to be in his class?

Besides, if your ds is going to be in Year 5, then he must be about 9 or 10- doesn't he have an opinion himself as to what friends he wants to ask round? My ds is only 8, but I can't see him taking kindly to me trying to micro-manage his personal life in this way.

If there is a problem with a specific child- then yes, we would have to discuss that, and make it clear that he understands why this child's behaviour must not be imitated. (for instance, one of his best friends has aggression problems- but ds understands the specific problems of his family situation very well and we have discussed ways of handling it). But I wonder how he would react if I told him that I am inviting X and not Y because Y is not going to be in his class next year.

I would spend more time teaching my ds not to be influenced by bad behaviour than on trying to convince the school not to let him be exposed to bad behaviour.

Or is it because, by and large I can punctuate (the odd fat fingers aside) and use longer words? Do you know why? Because I went to a girls grammar. A school that celebrated achievement, motivation, aspiration. And, perhaps most tellingly, a school, rightly or wrongly that had the ability to chuck DDs out, effectively, who didn't meet the accepted 'norms' of behaviour, courtesy, application. And you know what? ONE girl from my year of 120 left. To me, that reveals what effect a strong collective ethos can have on a fairly disparate group of DDs. We were all state schooled and represented all social bands, all walks of life. But we all toed that line.

So I don't see why my Ds has to put up with 'all sorts'. My DCs KNOW that behaviour is 'out there'. Same as I do. I'd just prefer them not to have to accommodate it on a day to day basis.

actually I don't think this is about the other children. Op constantly refers to her ds as impressionable/able to be influenced/the effect the other children are going to have on him.

Op, your ds is a follower not a leader, is that right? He is not good at making decisions for himself and therefore if he falls into the crowd you don't approve of you know that he will follow them and in a year's time he will be one of them.

IMO the work needs to be done at home. You need to teach your ds that following others really isn't the way to go. He needs to learn to think for himself, and not follow the crowd.

teslagirl, without wanting this to become a debate about types of school, you went to a selective school.

Where did you attend before the grammar ? Could you have been oblivious to similar children and then risen above it in the selective system? Perhaps your ds could yet surprise you by doing similar, maybe you are underestimating him and the influence his home environment could play.

We find out next week which teachers will be teaching the yr 1 classes. But I don't think we find out until the following week which of the 2 classes our children will be in.

A class list isn't posted, but we will get individual slips in book bags to say who the teacher will be in year 1. As far as I am aware there are no plans to shuffle the 2 reception classes, at least not in a major way. They all seem to get on well, and dd has friends in both classes, because they have an open door reception policy. Actually, that's the thing I'm dreading about year 1 - I think there is much less mixing between classes and so I do worry that she won't have as firm a friendship with her "best friend" in the other class (girl). But then, she's not yet 5 and friendships are fluid.

Still sad though....

But grammar school is at secondary level.

Yes, indeed I did. Academically selective. Purely on the grounds of 'if Don takes 3 minutes to fill the bath, how long does Bill take?'! An exam at 11. YET that school managed to get us 'all in line' behaviourally. It could be argued that the sort of parent who allowed the eff word at home wouldn't have 'qualified', but apparently not true! We had all comers!

Yes, my DS IS a follower, not a leader. Give me credit for NOT posting on the G & T board! I know my DS, I know his limitations and his strengths. I also know that it IS technically possible to get a DC through school without actually having to come up against those who would seek to seriously adversely influence him. Like I did. However, selective is no longer an option (HOW we howl when academic selection is equated with middle class good manners, note!) so the best I can do is to wish I knew exactly what percentage of the DSs of whom I speak will be in DS's class next year so we can, if need be, coupled with whatever happens to DS2, make some decisions.