Have you been told about next year's classes yet? Composites? Numbers? Teacher? Friends?

[teslagirl]

A small part of me want to type Grrr. There, I've done it. I mean, the schools KNOW what they're going to do already so WHY NOT TELL US! Whilst I'm aware the obvious unspoken reason is "To give you parents less time to launch complaints", the reality is we have a pretty good idea what they'll do so please don't keep us hanging on!

It affects both DSs. We have an Infants and on-site but different school Juniors arrangement.

Briefly, DS1 was amongst the first to be 'composited', Y3/4, as there are only 43 DCs in his year and the schools operate a 2 form entry (max 60-ish). He's now a '4' in a 3/4, having been a '3' in a 3/4 last year. But WHAT are they doing next year? Rumour Control speaks of 'pure' yr 5s- so there MUST be more incomers we don't know about. Yet, for some of us, we'd prefer an ongoing composite (Y5/6) as we don't LIKE many of DS1's year group contemporaries! My view of the potential success of next year will be seriously shaped by exactly which of his year group he will find himself with! The good and studious who will 'bring him along' or the.. Others?

DS2 is going into Juniors. We pretty much know they'll be composited, Y3/4. It's less of an issue EXCEPT- and I'm on dangerous ground here- there are just a couple of DSs whom I'm keen for DS2 NOT to be with but of course I won't know whom til July 4th! Also, it'd be handy, practically speaking, to be able to foster friendships between DS2 and his Y3 classmates over the summer IF I knew who they were!

WHY, really, all the secrecy? And guesswork? The 'pure yr 5' thing has been guessed at because a teacher told his class he was 'having a Yr 5 next year'. And none of the DCs have been asked to list their 2 best friends for class division purposes. WHY?

I have not called you a vile snob- merely wondered what you propose to do with this knowledge.

If your ds is easily led, then so will other people's dc's be- so it would seem hard to justify moving your ds away from these children to put somebody else's child in with them instead.

teslagirl on Mon 23-Jun-08 20:07:39

'Expose DS1 to sensible, mature, motivated DCs and he will go along with it. Expose him to, at best "It's all BORING", at worst "Effin' C*" and- well, I have a pretty good idea which peer group will give us, as a family less grief.'

So whose children should be exposed to the 'it's all boring brigade'? Which family should take the grief? Can you fill a whole class with children whose families don't give a damn about school? And have you any guarantee that your ds never tells other children that school work is boring, thus seducing other innocent children into the wrong attitude?

Or do you mean, you will have time to find him another school before September? And if so, what can you know about the children he will get to be with there? Even at the most prestigious independent schools in the country there are individual children who are messed up.

malory called me a vile snob!

Doesn't mean everybody who disagrees with you feels the same- I am genuinely interested in your answer to the above.

We're in an entirely different ball park if we're suggesting getting MY DS "away from these children puts somebody else's with them instead". That's for THEIR parents to act on, not me. I can't influence that.

I can't name whose DCs 'should' be exposed to the bad language etc etc. But it ain't mine. Sorry.

The reality is, yes, we DO have options before September. Like many parents. I would like to make any decisions based on facts. The fact the schools, though they KNOW aren't telling us is what is irritating me. They are treating us like idiots. At worst, I will know what to expect next year when the language and 'attitood' comes home. I will also have a good idea from whence it comes.

"The fact the schools, though they KNOW aren't telling us is what is irritating me. They are treating us like idiots."

They wouldn't have to if some parents didn't act like idiots....

But mixing with new children is part of the way of the world. How will your children learn how to choose friends, tolerate others, make choices about right and wrong if they don't get exposed to it?

Honestly - EVERY school has allsorts of children - and schools are better for the variety imo

Clearly the answer to this is to find an oversubscribed one-form entry school with exactly 30 kids in each year group. No angst, no fuss, lovely, cosy and safe.

Except you can guarantee that by the end of Y6, after 8 years in a classroom with the same kids, they'll be sick of the sight of each other. In dd1's class there was a little clique of alpha females who'd spent the whole of primary falling in and out with each other. It was like the Miss World dressing room. After a few solid years of "Well Sophie and Gemma have split up, and now Ella says she won't be my best friend any more, and Gemma has gone off with Ella and I hate Sophie anyway" we'd have been grateful for any change of company, no matter how 'undesirable'.

Just take it as it comes.

teslagirl I don't really think that the class composite is as important as you think. Children influence each other across year groups and even inter-year groups as well.

Unless its a very streamed situation like the year group my dd will going into next year - but this is about sets not personalities

what frogs said. God I hate that sort of thing. "Miss World dressing room" is the funniest description ever.

Every class has a clique of Miss worlds ime....very very tiring

Bit like mumsnet really ..................

we find out who the teachers are a week next Thursday. But our school doesn't do mixing up classes so ds will be moving up with his class.

"I can't name whose DCs 'should' be exposed to the bad language etc etc. But it ain't mine. Sorry.". So you think that by not having your ds in a class with children who swear he won't be exposed to bad language? What about in the playground where children are free to play with who they want? And where bad language is sadly often rife.

I would prefer my ds not to be exposed to the f word at this age either, but sadly this is the real world and he will learn that kind of language somewhere, somehow. I can only hope that I have brought him up in such a manner as to not be influenced too much by what others do or say.

You sound ve judgemental of other children. How would you feel if other parents didn't want their children in with yours because he is too boring? (studious can easily equal boring).

OK, but we are talking boys here! I wish the boys of whom I speak were 'new'. They're not. They've been in my DS's year since they were 4. But the year size is small and has undergone a lot of changes thus my DS hasn't been exposed to the day-in, day-out of these DSs for years. TBH I was quite- well, shocked, really when I was waiting in the adjoining park for half an hour last week whilst DS1 did Athletics Club after school when, round the corner came 6 'young men', all yr 4s, all known to me, on bikes and within seconds if I'd heard them call each other a 'c*' once, I'd heard it a dozen times; every sentence was 'eff this, eff that', they were all calling one boy 'batty boy' (a derogatory term for 'gay' if you don't know), as they elbowed younger DCs off the swings- and I just though 'Actually, no. This isn't where I want MY DS at next year, thanks'. No, he won't be out 'ranging the estate' with these DCs. But actually, I don't really want him sharing classrooms with these either, given the choice. Which I won't be- seeing as they school won't reveal what they already know.

If his peers are that much of an issue for you perhaps you should look at alternative schools ? Sounds like however the classes are composed won't appease you

OK, to be honest I was using the word 'Boring' as the mildest form of the sort of stuff I don't want DS to be 'exposed to' in an every day environment. He needs no encouragement. In reality 'BORING' is v. mild compared to what we may be up against. See my post above.

But if this group is as challenging as you suggest, they will probably be split up next year, so your DS is likely to end up with two or three of them anyway.

Oh, BOYS. That sub-species that must be derided and condemned at every turn.

Surely you have enough influence with your own son at age - six, seven? - that if he used language like that in front of you, you would immediately let it be known that it was not acceptable. My brothers, and I, went to school with some very rough types. And some rather posh types. We remained ourselves, because our parents gave us the confidence to be ourselves through their example and expectations.

You should feel sorry for these poor little buggers you know, no one must care very much about them if they are behaving like that at that age.

What would 'appease' me is either last year's class (Y3 in a Y3/4 class) or this year's, Y4 in a Y3/4 class. DS did better last year amongst older DCs ( he is well influenced by older, more mature DCs). But the fact remains, I, and believe me, I am not alone- Do NOT LIKE a good majority of the DSs in DS1 year group! So I'd really like to know what percentage of trouble lies ahead.

GUYS, he's NINE.

Look, save your worry, just move him.

You aren't going to be happy unless you can hand pick the children with whom he associates (good luck with doing that for the next 15 years through primary, secondary and university) so it's pointless to even go on with discussion isn't it?

Believe me I DO feel sorry for these kids. They are neglected. Their mothers are the ones who brawl in the playground. They have no steadying influence in their lives. There is nothing I can do about it, let alone my DS.