Who does the school run in your house??

[rainsbows]

Ds starts reception in September and I am feeling really sad / terrible mum guilt that due to work, I won’t be able to take my son to school.

I can collect him twice a week but all other school runs will be either my mum or my husband.

Please make me feel better.

Edited to add, I could take him once a week if he attends the early wraparound care but conscious he’s already going to find five full school days really full on so doesn’t seem fair.

My husband does every school run, morning and afternoon. I am a teacher and have to be in work. It’s not great, but it is the reality. I don’t want them in breakfast club when they don’t need to be just so I can take them.

DH does all drop offs, my mum and I share pick ups. I usually do 3 a week. Don't feel guilty OP - my kids love being picked up by their grandparents. I understand that you feel guilty but if your child is well cared for you don't need to worry.

I also quite like it to be honest, especially in summer. I’m not sure what sagas there are, to be honest, most people turn up, collect their kids and go. I’m a sociable person and enjoy 10 minutes chatting to some other parents. People on here talk about ‘school mums’ like they’re another species, when in reality they’re just other people who have children the same age as you. I’ve made some great friends through my kids 🤷‍♀️

Yes … see also children’s parties, which I also enjoy.

Please don’t feel guilty. In this day and age, we all do what we have to do with work to survive.
Hopefully as you get more senior work will become more flexible so you can do more school runs? Or things might change, you may get a different job that allows this.

In any case, school run is not quality time with children and it’s great that your husband/mum can do it.

Hang in there OP, it’s ok and things will work out xx

I do the majority of the school runs, but DH also does some, and my mum picks them up once a week. Our school do a free breakfast club from 8.15 which we use 3-4 days a week (can choose to pay for the bit 7.45-8.15, which we don't) and they both do two after school clubs even though we don't need them to for childcare reasons, they just want to! (I mean stuff like dance/football/cricket/gymnastics after school at the school, not generic ASC)

I do all the school runs because I work during school hours so I'm able to. I'm another one who absolutely loves it, definitely no school gate sagas at our school! Have made some genuine friends and just love spending that time with my children. But there's a real mix of mums, dads, grandparents and breakfast/after school club. OP your set up is completely normal and lovely that you'll be able to do a couple of pick ups.

DH does morning, I do afternoon. We don't have family help. Don't feel guilty though, there's multiple children in dd's year who are collected by grandparents most days or go to wraparound. Honestly I feel a little jealous of the grandparent families.

I drop off, DH does pick up.

But we are moving closer, so when they start primary i can do both around work using breakfast club.

When I worked full time (back when DS1 started school and DS2 was in preschool) our childminder did the majority of the school runs and had them at her house after school (just down the lane from school / preschool) and we’d pick up from her equally. However when they were 6 & 4 I reduced my hours to be part time and after that I took on the majority of the preschool & school runs (both in same building at a tiny rural primary school thankfully). My husband did do it occasionally, my in laws picked up once a week, but mostly it was me. They moved to a prep and a private school that were near to each other but 5 miles away from our house, and I do all of the school runs with a very rare exception if I’m away for work or something. I am lucky as my work is very flexible in terms of the hours and I am pretty senior so I can set my own diary which allows me to take 1/2 hour flexi to go and pick up the boys and return to work once we’re home, or just finish at 2:30 or 4pm to go and pick them up.

It’s great that your husband and other family can do picks up and drop offs though, our kids never minded us not taking them to and from school when they were little (childminder had a swimming pool which helped!), I think so many families use childcare or family to help that it’s quite normal for little ones.

I would ask to work from home or flexibly for first week of term, then let the other people he loves do it

My DS is in reception, I normally do 3 days my husband does 2, that involves some wraparound care. Not initially planned but because I (naievly) thought school would be similar to nursery in that if school starts at 9am then that's when he would go in the classroom but in reality it can actually be later or (very occasionally) earlier, same with pick up.

My DS is summer born and really struggled with the change from nursery to school so the first term in particular was very difficult, he asked to go to breakfast club originally. I think because the handover is much calmer and away from a busy playground, in our scenario it's only 30mins earlier than school. Regardless, he's nearly in year 1 now and school is a very normal 'non event' so whilst I really enjoy those few hours after school particularly in summer when we go to the park the actual drop isn't particularly exciting and teachers don't have any time to provide handovers so it is all very quick.

Mine get the school bus from the end of the road as we live more than 3 miles away. No school run here and I don’t miss it at all!

I mostly dropped off when DD was nursery so too young for the bus, DH and I shared the pickups. It got old fast. Was delighted when they were both old enough to go on school transport.

There’s a real mix at our school of mums dads and grandparents. Some parents take other kids too. Plus about a third of the kids get school buses as we’re a rural area. No before or after school club here.

School run is the bane of my life. I do 4 mornings and 3 pick ups. So 70% of it. I look forward to school holidays when I don't have to do it. I do more because I work PT.

It was a mix in our house between childcare, in laws and me then after a few years I went full time and we used a mix of childminder and after school club then we swapped childminder on a morning and DH dropped them off and I picked up from afterschool club.

You have to do what you need to do. Kids will be fine 😀

My husband works early shifts one week and late shifts the other. So when he’s on his earlies I do every morning school run and my husband does every after school pick-up (I join him for 3 picks ups on this week due to WFH those days) and the other week my husband does 2 solo morning drop offs and I join him for 3 morning drops offs. Pick ups on this week are my mum/MIL/me depending on who’s available and what days I’m in the office/at home.

The important thing is that your child gets to school. Please don’t put him in breakfast club and extend his school day by 1hr 30 just to assuage your guilt. If he’s excited to join in with a particular club that’s different but don’t do it just so you can drop him off. We’ve chopped and changed over the years depending on jobs, shift patterns etc.

DH did more of it than me as I'm a teacher.

Bear in mind the teachers often aren't dropping or collecting their DC!

I'm an auntie doing the school drop off every morning. Picked up by a parent in the afternoon.
It's a mix of mum's, dad's and grandparents with a few of the little ones in breakfast club.

Me

KS1 : my parents took him to school from ours and also collected him - this was 4 days a week. I took and collected on a Friday. He is in year 6 now and walks to school by himself - my parents collect him and keep him till I get back from work. On a Friday he also walks home as I work from home. Please don't worry - there are LOADS of grandparents that help out like this! Bizarrely I will be taking him and picking him up from year 7 as he is moving to an independent secondary which is on my commute route (way too far to walk or cycle).

My husband always did the majority and I did occasionally.

I worked from home till my son started reception, my work then demanded everyone back to the office which means my husband does both nursery for our youngest and my sons drop offs to school, I took the day off to take him on his first day and although he got upset at times he does understand and knows I will pick him up. They do get used to it, I think we overthink it more than they do sometimes and the mum guilt is horrid, there is no guilt like it.

You guys will settle into your new routineand then that will be the new normal