Who does the school run in your house??

[rainsbows]

Ds starts reception in September and I am feeling really sad / terrible mum guilt that due to work, I won’t be able to take my son to school.

I can collect him twice a week but all other school runs will be either my mum or my husband.

Please make me feel better.

Edited to add, I could take him once a week if he attends the early wraparound care but conscious he’s already going to find five full school days really full on so doesn’t seem fair.

You don’t need to feel guilty about not doing the school run if someone the child trusts is doing it (which can include childminders or whatever arrangement is in place). It’s important that there’s a secure arrangement in place and they’re not wondering who is taking/collecting them day to day, and as a loving parent, you’ve put that in place. No guilt needed.

just to reassure you I have a kid in reception now and the drops and pick ups are a real range of mums, dads, grandparents, childminders, much older siblings, etc etc. Don’t worry at all!

DS is year 2. School runs are done by a mixture of mums, dads, grandparents, child minders and other family members. Some kids do breakfast and after school club 5 times per week. Quite a few families do 1 or 2 drop-offs/pick-ups a week and the rest wraparound. I drop off about 4 times a week (to the gate so don't see the teacher) and pick up from clubs twice a week.

If you have some flexibility, save it for class assembly/sports day etc.

I did the school run most of the time when DS was in preschool (always dropped him off to breakfast club on my way to work and usually picked him up but not always) and it was a good mix of mums and dads dropping their children off/picking them up, definitely not just a mum thing. He walks by himself now but I'm gone to work long before he wakes up so OH is the one to get him up, give him breakfast and wave goodbye to him which is a little sad for me but not an issue at all for DS.

My husband does drop off and I do pick up. That’s quite a normal set up at our school. There actually aren’t many children where mum does both every day.

My DS is starting reception in Sept and the current plan is I will do 5x drop offs and then he will go to 5x after school club for literally 20
minutes. My elder DS is at a specialist in a different town 17 miles away so I can’t do both pick ups. I feel horrendously guilty and convinced I won’t be part of his school life at all.

My point, in trying to badly make is that I think we will feel guilty whatever happens. Good luck for September

Mine has just started secondary, but since reception I did the drop off and either my husband or the childminder did pick up. It’s no biggie. Whatever suits your family really. 💁🏻‍♀️

DD is y1.

I do them all as I WFH school hours apart from 2 days in the office a month. This is unusual, apart from the Mums on mat leave or those who have multiple younger kids where it makes no sense to work/are shift workers/ WFH and have flexibility/are self employed etc.

DH does mornings (there is always someone WFH) and DMIL does the afternoon pick up to help out when I am in the office.

There are as many arrangements as there are children tbh! Off ten top of my head, in DD's class, I can think of kids who use a mic of: breakfast club, after school club, one or other parent, childminder, grandparents, neighbours doing childcare swaps, after-school clubs external to school...

Dh does all of ours

We have always split school runs. I remember other mums saying thank you to me as it meant they were able to get their DHs involved too. Maybe try to look at it as doing your bit for equal / shared parenting?
Check for class WhatsApp groups - these can help you stay in touch and build relationships even if you are not at the school gates each day.

I drop DD at the class door twice a week, the other three days she goes to breakfast club. Needs must.

Joint drop offs in the morning currently for reception and nursery. Then I do most of the pick ups. But it is full wrap around so 8-6....

It was a variety in our house depending on work schedules. Through the week DP and I pretty much 50/50 and on a Friday they went to grandparents. This was a treat in some ways as cousins were also often there and grandparents lived closer to school so it was a short walk. They also got different treats.

Ok phew. I’m aware I’m being irrational! And I’m sure / know he’ll be absolutely fine.

I’m hoping I can negotiate doing some of the induction days. I think the school do a really soft launch into full days. Random mornings, an hour here and there, home visits etc for the first week or two.

I did all school runs for my dc.
But I was considered very unusual, predominantly other parents used aftwr school clubs, childminders, Nannies or grandparents.

Your doing your best, be kind to yourself.

I think most parents struggle with this! Ours was thankfully only a week, and I was lucky that my boss was very flexible with it and allowed me to shift my hours to make sure I could cover things, along with DMIL and DFIL helping with some childcare.

It's tough, for sure! Most kids adapt :)

Mondays - dh
Tuesdays - one dc has an early morning activity, so dh does that and then drops that dc at school, I walk the other dc to school
Wednesday - me
Thursday - me
Friday - dh

I do most pick ups but just depends on dh work schedule. There was also a time when I did hardly any of the drop offs and kids had to do wraparound care in the evenings which I would usually pick up from

Your arrangement sounds great and you do not need to feel guilty at all. Tbh, I don't always enjoy pick ups and at least you wont have any playground politics to deal with as you see mentioned on here a lot.

My husband mainly, I get once a fortnight at the minute but that will likely stop in September. The mum guilt is real but I’m a teacher so not much to be done about it. I reconcile it with the long holidays and weekends with them.

Real mix in our house, husband, me, both of us and a child minder who literally just does the school run in the morning 2days a week. The school run was a good way to meet local friends and have someone to chat to , but really everyone’s just busy with their own stuff and there’s no need to feel guilty, it will be your sons norm.

Breakfast club is fine if they need it but I wouldn’t send DC in reception more than once a week purely for the sake of being able to drop off. It’s a long day

As soon as my kids went to school I set up a school run with other parents in the street. There were 3 of us so did 2or 3 runs a week there and back. Our school was a couple of miles away. Ridiculous to have 3 people taking cars when one could do it. Then the bus from P5. I worked part time so was flexible.

Well, that could potentially work if you all worked the same hours or didn’t work and only had one child and knew then well enough to be comfortable with that, but I don’t think it’s ridiculous to take your own child to school and home again!

This sounds perfect as he is always walked to and from school by family. Thats as good as it can possibly get! It was only ever me (sahm) or dad (when work permitted) and my grown up kids have often reflected that it was lovely that it was always us, everyday

We split it pretty evenly
I do 2 drop offs 3 pick ups
DH 3 drop offs 2 pick ups
But we both have flexible jobs and a lot of home working

My husband and I have always shared, they went to breakfast club everyday (the crazy drop of and then getting to work, we much preferred the more calmer 8am run) and they would go to ASC at least 3 days a week. I made sure we arranged play dates and got to know the parents (& found my tribe) me not being there everyday made no difference to that side.

Our children are now 16 & 23 we recently spoke about us working. Neither of them are damaged from the wrap around or holiday camps. Having 2 girls they also had their Dad present and part of the pick ups, it’s normalised that equal status in our family and relationship,

For us we both prioritised always school events (nativity sports day etc) Hasn’t always been easy, often felt the Mum guilt but now I’m the other side and can support driving lessons and options for university (& I have a pension) it’s all worked out ok.