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Upset about primary school

57 replies

Shleepymummy · 19/02/2026 13:32

DD started school in Sept. We live in a nice-ish area, the school is rated good and seems to have a good reputation. All of my friends moved to a more expensive area as the primary school is listed very highly in the league tables. I looked our school up recently and it's midway. From what I hear from friends about how their children are doing, I just feel sad as I don't seem to be getting the same communication from our school. I don't know what reading group she is, had one parent evening but it was early on and no reports or updates since. DD can read by spelling out phonics and blending to make words, but not sure if she should be doing it in her head and then out loud at this stage. Secondary schools around my area are not great so we will move before then. But wondering if we should move before she hits year 2 and move her into new junior school. Also have a 2 year old who we need to apply for this year and unlikely we will be gone by application dates. Just suddenly feel worried and stressed by it all and I didn't before. Our current school is nice, I guess I'm just comparing to every one I know who all seem very focused on having the best school for their children- even if that means maxing out how you live to afford mortgage in that area. Plus if we moved ready for senior school I would have to commute back for old area for school, not awful as I work near there but something else to think about!
does any one have any experience on this? What they ended up doing? How much primary schools really compare to each other.
and then if you moved your child, if that was a good idea? DD is currently in primary school so goes all way to year 6 without moving. The other area we would apply for juniors so she would move at that point I guess when others do.

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Shleepymummy · 20/02/2026 20:17

Mumstheword1983 · 20/02/2026 20:03

It's different for every child. In my experience children tend to make new groups of friends at secondary school. That's not to say they don't keep some primary friends but one of the main benefits is widening the social circle. My oldest daughter went to secondary with her same P7 class from nursery (only 18 in total) and made a whole new group of friends in S1 so going to a different secondary school from her peers would not have made a difference to her and she's quiet and not a social butterfly.

Would you be intending to move her to a primary which feeds into the secondary school of your choice? Remember a school that is not seen as 'good' now could be much improved in 7 years time.

Ok that's interesting.
Yes if we move to new area with desired secondary, there are 2/3 junior schools in same catchment that are 'feeder' schools. So she would leave her current school in year 2, and move to the junior school. Or we leave her at her current primary school even though we will have moved, and let her be there until year 6 and then she would go to new secondary school. The local secondary school here could improve, but I don't think it will get to the standard of the new one. At the moment a lot of people on my area apply for a catholic senior school out of catchment, but they can't let everyone in so that seems too risky. And we aren't catholic so feels a bit hypocritical/harsh to take a space from a catholic family.

OP posts:
YourAvidKhakiPanda · 20/02/2026 20:19

Shleepymummy · 20/02/2026 19:45

We can do chat at the door in the morning only, but where my DD struggled going in at first, and now independently skips off happy, I've been cautious about hovering and try and leave swiftly as that seems to have helped her settle. I'm going to ask to meet the teacher and just have a quick catch up. I'd like to know what I can do to support her development at home so I'll have that as my aim.

The teacher will be grateful that you want to support her! Definitely make an appt through the office or however her school do it.

Mumstheword1983 · 20/02/2026 20:31

Shleepymummy · 20/02/2026 20:17

Ok that's interesting.
Yes if we move to new area with desired secondary, there are 2/3 junior schools in same catchment that are 'feeder' schools. So she would leave her current school in year 2, and move to the junior school. Or we leave her at her current primary school even though we will have moved, and let her be there until year 6 and then she would go to new secondary school. The local secondary school here could improve, but I don't think it will get to the standard of the new one. At the moment a lot of people on my area apply for a catholic senior school out of catchment, but they can't let everyone in so that seems too risky. And we aren't catholic so feels a bit hypocritical/harsh to take a space from a catholic family.

I completely understand. If you are intending to move anyway then this is a good plan. We did the same. We moved to the catchment of my current school when my eldest was a toddler as I knew I wanted my children to go there. House prices were more expensive but it was definitely a good move. Not just for the school.

Give it some time. When you are ready to move, if you have followed all the advice here and still have worries then moving school before secondary would be a good plan. If you are happy with the current school by then and want to keep her there until S1 I don't think this would set her back socially for secondary school. She would make new friends quickly 😄

Gmary22 · 21/02/2026 10:24

As a primary school teacher my opinion is the only real difference between outstanding and good schools is that the outstanding schools are better at record keeping (hence the increased feedback for parents), but this doesn't really benifit the children and stresses the teachers out as its extra work. If the teacher seems nice, your child is progressing and the other children in the class are nice then I would not worry. And its normal for them to be souding things outloud at this age.

Gmary22 · 21/02/2026 10:26

YourAvidKhakiPanda · 20/02/2026 20:19

The teacher will be grateful that you want to support her! Definitely make an appt through the office or however her school do it.

Just wait for parents evening like everyone else.

YourAvidKhakiPanda · 21/02/2026 10:29

Gmary22 · 21/02/2026 10:26

Just wait for parents evening like everyone else.

Fair enough, my school only has 2 a year so I like to chat to most parents around spring 1 so they don't get any shocks

Moonnstarz · 21/02/2026 10:44

YourAvidKhakiPanda · 21/02/2026 10:29

Fair enough, my school only has 2 a year so I like to chat to most parents around spring 1 so they don't get any shocks

Surely you only do that with children you have concerns about and want to talk through things with the parent though? Otherwise your workload could be immense if you unofficially run an additional parents evening because you like to chat with parents (we have 30 children in a class). Also doesn't this then set the expectation that other teachers should do this too?

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