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Primary education

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Original poster

School mums being horrible

26 replies

Lillymae12 · 15/01/2026 13:03

I’m reaching out hoping some lovely mums themselves can give me advise on how they’d handle a horrid situation I’ve found myself in. My husband is friendly and lovely we have 4 kids. Whilst my littlest has been a baby he’s done the majority of the school runs. He was waiting in the playground with 2 other mums in the year above everything was fine. Then one of them tried to add my husband on instagram he accepted as he felt bad but I said it’s fine at school but social media for me is a boundary that makes me feel uneasy? Anyway that was cleared up and no issues. Been taking my kids to school more recently to break it up and feel more involved. I kept my distance and obviously just stood with the few mums I knew I could let on to. There was no hard feelings for the other 2 women I just simply didn’t know them. I noticed that one of them parked directly facing my car and just stared at me. Then when I was waiting on my own they both laughed really loud and was just making it very obvious they was laughing about me. It made me embarrassed in case other parents saw. I felt humiliated but sucked it up and walked away with my kids. Then I crossed the road this morning and the lady that added him shouted “ok byeeeeeee” at me?? I don’t understand it. Her friend just stares at me until I look then just turns and talks to someone. I’m hating how it’s making me feel? My husband said he’s going to stand away from them but doesn’t mind confronting it with them. I just feel this is what they want? They want the drama and I’m best off just keeping out of their way. I’ve never been bullied and at 33 I’ve never felt so belittled by people I don’t even know before. I just want some advise on what you’d do if you was in my situation. Would you stop doing it? Should I say something. It’s making what should just be dropping and getting my children very difficult and a daily thing i dread because it’s making me feel upset and anxious and I just want to be happy for my family.

OP posts:
youegg · 15/01/2026 15:47

You all sound about 12. Show them you are an adult and Ignore it. They’ll soon get bored.

TheOpalReader · 15/01/2026 15:53

Put some earphones in and ignore them. They're obviously bored and don't have much going on so they're being idiots. But you sound like you're being an easy target for them.

FlapperFlamingo · 15/01/2026 16:12

I rarely did school runs as I worked FT and DH was the SAHP. I would say the school mums seemed cliquey and were not welcoming on the few occasions I went to the school for our 2 DS. I would just give a smile, a quick wave if needed and move on. I was there to pick my kids up, not to talk to them or make friends. Honestly - keep your expectations low and you won't be disappointed! Some schools seem to have very cliquey mums, it got better when our kids were older and moved up to secondary school though.

Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 15/01/2026 16:17

Why do you care? They sound like arseholes so leave them to it

Boobyslims · 15/01/2026 17:40

Sorry I am not following - you didn’t want your husband to accept the woman’s request on instagram but then you both let it happen? Why is that even an issue?

And did you then say it to some of the mums you know (what do you mean you stood with the mums you “knew you could let on to”?) at the school? I’m lost.

FuzzyWolf · 15/01/2026 17:48

No easy way to sugarcoat this so I won’t bother. They probably feel insulted that you are effectively accusing them of trying it on with your husband and cheating on their own. Your insecurities are something you need to address without impacting onto others because your children will now suffer as a result due to lack of play dates and party invites.

Jumimo · 15/01/2026 17:52

If someone I wasn’t even talking to randomly yelled “ok byeeee” at me, I think I’d turn around and say “excuse me?”
Ask them what their problem is. This is all very childish and odd.

pimplebum · 15/01/2026 18:07

Why can’t your husband be instagram friends with them ?

also why would they / he want to be instagram friends ?? Maybe i am an old fogey but i only add friends not random people at the school gate ? I

if they are really directing shade your way keep well away and ignore , they are invisible

husband does all drop offs for the time being

pimplebum · 15/01/2026 18:11

did he tell them my wife won’t let me be instagram friends ? As that would be the only logical reason they would be upset with you , even do they are acting like children

Jaspering · 15/01/2026 18:16

Just totally ignore them. They sound pathetic.

Obscurity · 15/01/2026 18:21

pimplebum · 15/01/2026 18:11

did he tell them my wife won’t let me be instagram friends ? As that would be the only logical reason they would be upset with you , even do they are acting like children

Yes, I was thinking this.

@Lillymae12 OP did your DH remain insta friends with them? If not, check if he told them why this was. Loose lips, sink ships!

MrBlobbyScaresMe · 15/01/2026 18:29

I've had this with a couple of school mums but not exactly the same scenario, nothing to do with my OH.
They'd stand there staring at me, giving me dirty looks, the loud laughing & what seemed like they were talking about me, they'd stand with their OH's and all be looking at me, dirty looks etc. They were just being bitches in general, too long to write it all out. So I approached them and asked them what the problem was and surprise surprise they replied 'no no nothings up, no problem bla bla'.
So when it didn't stop after that I just thought I'm not approaching you again I'll just give you that same energy back. So I'd stare back, be confident, not let them intimidate me and it stopped as soon as I did that. I know it's childish but it's solved the problem and now I can do the school run in peace because they know I won't put up with their shit.

FlockofSquirrels · 15/01/2026 18:33

Then one of them tried to add my husband on instagram he accepted as he felt bad but I said it’s fine at school but social media for me is a boundary that makes me feel uneasy? Anyway that was cleared up and no issues.

What do you mean by "that was cleared up"? What went on after he accepted the friend request?

Catwoman8 · 15/01/2026 18:39

Trying to figure out what you mean by "that was cleared up" Did he accept her request and then remove/block her after your insecurities? Has he told her that's the reason for it?

firstofallimadelight · 15/01/2026 18:40

So he accepted friendship on insta you didn’t like it and he removed them? Who told them why ? Tbh I’d judge you and your dh if you were so insecure I couldn’t follow him on insta (and maybe slightly flattered)

Judd · 15/01/2026 18:43

@Boobyslims if you let onto somebody, you acknowledge them or say hiya to them.

Screamingabdabz · 15/01/2026 18:43

Jumimo · 15/01/2026 17:52

If someone I wasn’t even talking to randomly yelled “ok byeeee” at me, I think I’d turn around and say “excuse me?”
Ask them what their problem is. This is all very childish and odd.

This. I’d have walked up and stared them right in the eye and say ‘are you ok? Do I know you?’

Assert yourself.

ThejoyofNC · 15/01/2026 18:45

To be honest it sounds as though you are acting very strangely. Maybe that's why they were laughing?

Whosthetabbynow · 15/01/2026 18:54

They see you as having been precious about your husband.

itsmeits · 15/01/2026 18:55

How do you know it was about you when they were laughing. So many people think stuff is about them when really it has nothing to do with them.

You can do any of the following
Ignore
Confront
Ask DP to introduce you

undone561 · 15/01/2026 18:59

Have you posted this before OP? I'm sure I've read this before.

I think they think you're purposely ignoring them and they think it's really odd. I think you sound a bit paranoid between the SM thing and assuming any time they laugh that it's obviously about you.

I would just say hi when you see them and smile.

MrsMoastyToasty · 15/01/2026 19:02

Have "important" conversations on your mobile phone. Ignore them.

Tablesandchairs23 · 15/01/2026 19:03

Just put your big girl pants on and ignore them.

ImSweetEnough · 15/01/2026 19:05

I feel there’s a huge chunk of this story missing…

DestituteDesperate · 16/01/2026 18:39

Sorry OP but you’re massively insecure and, I would suspect most husbands wouldn’t accept any SM invites from random parents they’ve seen on the school run.

The issue is you, whatever has previously transpired in your relationship. That’s why I suspect you haven’t returned to this thread.

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