DS 8 - learning partner does nothing!

[Zxynpo]

Hi all, seeking advice please
ds 8 has just started year 4. He is unhappy and upset about his learning partner, whom he says does nothing and routinely has his head on the desk whilst DS does all the work single-handedly.

ds is very bright and very much enjoys learning at school. Without bragging, he is one of the top performers in his class and has exceeded expectations in all reports

I have raised this with the school, who initially confirmed he would change partner but then said that they would talk to ds and ‘support both boys’. This doesn’t fill me with confidence. Any suggestions as to how to deal this? I dont think its fair that DS is not learning much whilst being with this partner (DS has told me that this partner I’d probably the most à academically weakest person in the class).

Who do you think should be partnered with academically the weakest in the class then?

How is he not learning much? He’s doing all the work, he’s learning everything. And sounds bright and able.

My DD always does 90% of the work in any group work. Our take is that she’s learning how to project manage. A skill that will stand her in very good stead.

Yeah that’s primary school- my kids never got partnered with their friends for anything as they always partnered the brighter children with those who weren’t academic. Was a constant source of annoyance as my son used to have to do his work and then teach his partner. it is done on purpose to lift up the bottom. The girls would get peeved as a lot of the boys would muck about and not so any work

I occasionally raised it and sometimes they would relent but it always reverted back. I often thought what amazing things the brighter children could do if given the chance to feed off each other but there was zero incentive for the school to do that.

Good to know any ways forward. My DS just started y3 and the same thing is happening to him.

They should be supported by a teacher/ta. How does this child learn if partnered with the brighter child and the brighter child does everything. If we think they can learn from another child surely we are saying there is nothing to bring a teacher. I would say teaching others is a skill that we shouldn't expect children to have

The argument the teacher always gave me was that it cemented the concepts if a child was able to explain it to another child clearly and that other child was able to go on to do it.

This is borne out by research. Teaching someone else is about 80% retention vs about 20% for traditional teaching (droning on about something!). It’s very effective. I used t have a graph but goodness knows where that went.

Perhaps ask how long the learning partners are for? My children change partners every 2/3 weeks.

@Lollytea655 I don’t think DS should be partnered with a child from whom he learns nothing, and decides to do any work from the sounds of it

What, so they should never ever be involved in any partner work with any other child in the class?

I’m not sure where anybody said we expect another child to teach. This is primary, not A Level Biology, partnered work is common and unless your suggestion is that the weaker kids be entirely excluded then someone is always partnered with them.

Why do you expect your child to be learning anything from this child though?

Apparently they change every few weeks - we’re into the 3rd week of term now…
I will see what the teachers do to support. Fact is that ds should not be expected to do their job fit them at the expense of his learning. This didn’t happen in his last year (year 3) where the teacher was aware of this.

@Lollytea655 the term ‘learning partner’ is relevant. School is for learning.

And according to my DS, the other child just refuses to engage and asks ‘what lesson is this ‘.

What is he having to do that is stopping him learning?

It sounds like the frustration is that your DS is doing more learning, not less?

@friskery he is single handedly doing it all, he may as wel be working alone as the other child contributes nothing, there is no two way exchange

@friskery he is frustrated as the partner contributes nothing

You say he's top of the class though so what are you wanting him to learn from another child?

Oh the entitlement......

Every kid gets partnered with someone not at their level - up and down. All through school and in every year. Its amazing that this is only the first time this has happened That's life. Tell me any job anywhere where you only work with people who are at the same ability/attitude/intelligence etc as you? Kids aren't clones and its great that kids abilities are different.

They rotate every two weeks, so effectively 33 weeks of the school year the kid is with someone at the 'right' level? If your kid is so bright then they don't need the other kid to learn. So truly what is the problem except you don't think it's fair - except that its fair for everyone else to have their 2/3 weeks?

Yeah my kids complained when it happened to them too but it taught them resilience, to accept that not everyone is the same as they are and to help kids when they need it (creating empathy and as others have said it is BETTER for your kid in terms of learning).

Instead of looking at this as a negative, how about looking at it as a positive.

This isn't worth even mentioning again.

Well that's true since no teacher ever will ever give you an idea of that as giving that away wouldn't be permitted. Good shout.

I don't have learning partners in my class because I want them to get on with their own work. If they want to discuss maths questions that's fine but generally work should be independent. If I specifically want them to discuss something with a partner/group, I set that up. How much work are they actually doing with the partner and how much is it just a fancy term for 'person you sit next to'?

And sometimes the lesson is that you come across lots of different people in life, with different skills, strengths and weaknesses.

He’s 8. He’s not single handedly running an A Level group project that dictates uni acceptance, take a few deep breaths

He doesn’t want to learn anything - surely he doesn’t want to do all the work?

Because, research shows that being able to explain a topic or demonstrate a working method requires deeper understanding than just being able to quote the facts or do the exercises