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Original poster

just left my baby at big school 😭

30 replies

FindingMyFeet89 · 03/09/2025 09:14

hi every1
i just dropped ds off for his first day in reception n i cant stop cryin. i held it in at the gates but soon as i walked away i was bawlin. he was clingin to me sayin dont go mummy 😢 the teacher had to gently take him in. now i feel sick like iv abandoned him.

its mad cos hes my 4th but it still hurts so much, maybe more cos hes my last “baby” before bump comes. i keep thinkin hes too little, what if he cries all day, what if he dont make friends, what if teacher thinks im a bad mum cos hes not ready.

i feel so silly cryin like this, but it feel like end of a chapter. does it get easier after the first week?

OP posts:
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SpamBeansAndWaffles · 03/09/2025 09:15

It's normal to feel this but don't let your dc see this.

Millionsofmonkeys · 03/09/2025 09:16

What if he has a great day? What if he loves his teacher? What if he meets a new friend and plays with them all day?

The chances are much higher that he will be fine.

Original poster
FindingMyFeet89 · 03/09/2025 09:37

thank u both… i know ur right but i just feel like iv messed it up already. i tried not to let him see me cry, held it in til i was round the corner, but i think he could tell cos he kept lookin back 😢

i keep tryin to tell myself maybe he will come out smilin n say he made a friend, but in my head i just see him sat on his own or cryin for me. feels like i shud of kept him home 1 more year. i kno that sounds daft.

OP posts:
Rocknrollstar · 03/09/2025 10:08

What an exciting stage in your life. The 4th one is off to school so now you can start thinking about what you want to do with your life - and please don’t have another baby. It’s time to move on and move upwards and grow. There is more to life, really.

CommissarySushi · 03/09/2025 10:09

Rocknrollstar · 03/09/2025 10:08

What an exciting stage in your life. The 4th one is off to school so now you can start thinking about what you want to do with your life - and please don’t have another baby. It’s time to move on and move upwards and grow. There is more to life, really.

I think op is already pregnant with her 5th

MyTwoDads · 03/09/2025 10:12

My son was like this last year. It took a lot to even get him in the uniform! But when we went to collect him he was all smiles and loved it and has never looked back.

I have been a teacher for 20 years and it is very common for children and parents to be emotional on the first day - I had had to scoop up many children and bring them into the classroom. Some even take a few days to settle, but I always say to the parents that they will be fine in about 5mins or so (which is the truth). They wouldn't let a child cry all day, so don't worry. It's nice to call the parent and say that they're fine and playing but that's not always possible on day one when there are a lot of children crying.

I'm sure when you go and collect him he will love telling you about his day. (let us know!)

Spies · 03/09/2025 10:13

Being honest here he's probably picked up on your feelings about the situation and what should have been an exciting adventure now feels like a daunting scary experience. I appreciate some of it may be your hormones if you're pregnant but you really need to reframe your attitude towards him starting school before he thinks it's something he should find scary and sad.

PosiePetal · 03/09/2025 10:15

I bet he will have a great time and make new friends. You will get used to it and he will settle in.

Parenthood is all about helping them into independence. I never cried when either of my sons started or left school but I sobbed on and off for 3 days when my eldest son moved to a different part of the UK (I have got used to it of course and he is happy so I am happy!).

You have so much to look forward to, I promise!

BatchCookBabe · 03/09/2025 10:18

Spies · 03/09/2025 10:13

Being honest here he's probably picked up on your feelings about the situation and what should have been an exciting adventure now feels like a daunting scary experience. I appreciate some of it may be your hormones if you're pregnant but you really need to reframe your attitude towards him starting school before he thinks it's something he should find scary and sad.

Yeah this. ^

@FindingMyFeet89 You have done this 3 times before, so I don't understand why you're emotional/cut up about it. It's just your 4th child going to 'big school,' they're not leaving the country!

As the above poster said, don't project your feelings onto your child.

BatchCookBabe · 03/09/2025 10:19

Rocknrollstar · 03/09/2025 10:08

What an exciting stage in your life. The 4th one is off to school so now you can start thinking about what you want to do with your life - and please don’t have another baby. It’s time to move on and move upwards and grow. There is more to life, really.

Bit late for that advice. OP is pregnant!

Radiatorvalves · 03/09/2025 10:20

My baby is about to head off to uni. He’s 6’2” but I’m going to be emotional.

BatchCookBabe · 03/09/2025 10:26

Radiatorvalves · 03/09/2025 10:20

My baby is about to head off to uni. He’s 6’2” but I’m going to be emotional.

How is his height relevant? Confused

Original poster
FindingMyFeet89 · 03/09/2025 10:37

thanks for all ur replies… i kno some of u prob think im bein silly or dramatic but i cant help it 😢 every time 1 of mine starts school it hits me hard, even tho iv done it before. i guess cos ds feels like my “baby” still, n with baby on the way im all over the place with hormones too.

i didnt mean to make it scary for him, i tried my best to be all smiley at the gate but inside i felt broken. i hope ur right that he settles quick, it makes me feel bit better hearin from teachers n other mums who been thru it.

the comment about “dont have another baby” stung if im honest… baby is already on the way n i love him/her already, i dont see it as a mistake. maybe i aint got big career plans but my kids are my life n i just want to do my best by them.

i’ll update later when i pick him up, fingers crossed he runs out smilin 🤞

OP posts:
TiredMummma · 03/09/2025 13:45

I wanted to relate but was confused by ‘bump’. Jesus a baby on the way. How do people afford 5 kids let alone give them a quality of life? You get through but why would you just want to manage in life? I will never ever understand. You’ll have to go back to the start and do it all over again so no need to feel emotional

Upsetbetty · 03/09/2025 13:49

To be honest I see no need for more than two…each to their own but it’s madness tbh.

Julimia · 03/09/2025 14:30

No its not normal to feel like this but it is being normalised to feel and behave like that. Where has positivity and joy gone out of all these little milestones.

Original poster
FindingMyFeet89 · 03/09/2025 16:12

back from pick up n just got in the door.

ds4 came runnin out smilin with paint all over his jumper 😅 he said he played in the sand n made a “best friend” called josh. no tears when i picked him up, he looked so proud of himself. ds3 came out 10 mins later n he was chattin away too which dont always happen, so that was nice.

to the ppl askin how i can “afford 5 kids” n sayin its madness… i know not everyone agrees with my choices but baby is already on the way n i wont ever regret my babies. we dont have loads but i budget, we get by, n they know they’re loved. maybe i aint doin life like others think i shud but im tryin my best n my kids are my world.

today proved they stronger than i give credit for. i cried more than ds4 did 🙈

OP posts:
PurpleChrayn · 03/09/2025 16:21

My goodness. Get a grip.

1989whome · 03/09/2025 16:27

Jeez, the people saying don't have anymore kids! She's not asking you to care for them. No one needs to understand this lady's choices. She is obviously happy and content with ALL of her babies. Wtf has happend to people 😭 she posted coz she was feeling emotional and boom random strangers tell you, you have to many kids 😂 dear o dear.

Original poster
FindingMyFeet89 · 03/09/2025 16:35

thank u for stickin up for me ❤️ i was startin to feel really got at on here. i know not everyone will understand but i didnt post askin for permission to have kids, i just wanted to share how emotional it felt lettin ds go into school.

to the “get a grip” person… maybe ur stronger than me but i cant just switch my feelings off. i do get upset, i do cry, but that dont mean i dont cope. i still get up every day, do the school run, clean, cook, work, sort the flat. im allowed to feel things too.

ds had a great first day, thats what matters most. n im glad i came back to update cos i didnt want ppl thinkin he was cryin all day. he was fine. it was me that wasnt 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Wirdle · 03/09/2025 17:20

Glad he had a great first day ☺️

Topseyt123 · 03/09/2025 17:32

It's great that he enjoyed his first day. I'm sure you are relieved.

I remember feeling much like you each time one of my three started primary school, went to secondary school, went off to university. You get used to it to an extent because you just have to, but really, it does go with the territory of being a parent. Mine are all now aged between 30 and 23 so I am most definitely onto the adult "children" stage, which is a whole different ball game. 😃

Pay no attention to those criticising your choices and/or unable to read that you had already said you were pregnant with your fifth baby. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and look forward to meeting the new baby too. Maybe now that no. 4 is at school you will get a few hours peace on those days so you can rest more.

Topseyt123 · 03/09/2025 17:41

PurpleChrayn · 03/09/2025 16:21

My goodness. Get a grip.

That's not very nice!

Perhaps you need to get a grip yourself, so that you don't kick people when they are feeling fragile and vulnerable.

Topseyt123 · 03/09/2025 17:46

Julimia · 03/09/2025 14:30

No its not normal to feel like this but it is being normalised to feel and behave like that. Where has positivity and joy gone out of all these little milestones.

It's perfectly normal to feel like that.

Also, you can feel positivity and joy at the same time as being emotional. They aren't mutually exclusive. I could cry my eyes out when one chapter in my children's lives ended and the next started. It certainly didn't mean I wasn't delighted for them too.

Julimia · 03/09/2025 17:54

Yes but the positivity and joy are being down played these days at the cost of everything having to appear dreadful and negative.