just left my baby at big school 😭

[FindingMyFeet89]

hi every1
i just dropped ds off for his first day in reception n i cant stop cryin. i held it in at the gates but soon as i walked away i was bawlin. he was clingin to me sayin dont go mummy 😢 the teacher had to gently take him in. now i feel sick like iv abandoned him.

its mad cos hes my 4th but it still hurts so much, maybe more cos hes my last “baby” before bump comes. i keep thinkin hes too little, what if he cries all day, what if he dont make friends, what if teacher thinks im a bad mum cos hes not ready.

i feel so silly cryin like this, but it feel like end of a chapter. does it get easier after the first week?

What utter bollocks. Who has said that everything has to appear dreadful and negative.

Like many parents, OP just wanted a bit of moral and a hand hold even though this is her fourth child. I still wanted it with my third.

Aw that’s sweet. I drop kicked my 3rd into reception this time last year and ran away to freedom 🤣

In all honesty though, I love seeing my children grow and change. My eldest is in his 20s now, it’s a joy to see them develop.

@FindingMyFeet89 Have you had your SENCO meeting with the primary school for DS3 yet? If not ask his teacher next week about when it will be and ask about having one of either
1. A friend come with you to make notes 2. A SEN advocate from the council or volunteer 3. Admin staff in the school to take notes for you. Make sure in the meeting you ask questions when you don't understand and ask for any acronyms to be explained (so like ECHP is an acronym and means Education and Health Care Plan).

Also make sure across the whole year you keep on checking the school portal - have the notifications turned on, on your phone and check it at least once a week, and write anyhring down which is important.

Also make sure you start going around secondary schools to look for DS3 and ask a lot about their SEN provision. People on here will tell you what sort of questions you need to ask.

Make sure that you after you have your baby, you get on contraception right away - make sure in the 6 week appointment you ask about an IUS/IUD so that way it's not possible for you to forget. Also make sure that you ask the primary school and the midwifes about getting Early Help/family support worker when the baby comes as you'll be eligible/accepted.

Please now just focus on all 5, be more involved in their schools life and don't have a 6th. For you and for them. You've progressed so much in the last few months so you can keep this up. Please do for your children it really matters and if you don't understand or know something, ask for help, don't be embarrassed (even if you are) - your embarrassment isn't a good enough to not get your kids the best help and support - which sometimes means making sure you are okay and doing well so getting help for yourself.

As long as op can afford to have this many kids without state support (beyond child benefit and access to public education and health) and can dedicate sufficient time to her children’s needs then it is only her and her partners business how many dc they have and their use of contraception. People can be judgy! The fact I could barely cope with two (dd1 has autism) is no reflection on others’ ability to have large families! I wasn’t cut out for the earth mother sahm type role (my dd and think we were born in the wrong century as we would’ve been born suited to ordering household help around 😁)

I would say from many of OP's threads she hasn't until recently dedicated time to her kids education or been very involved. But she has grown a lot across the last few months and when given thoughtful advice has really shown she loves them by doing things differently. Particularly as she is a single parents which is harder and none of the children's dads take a central role. But she does work and provide for them and clearly loves them. She was on contraception after having DS4 but I think I'm correct in saying she forgot to take it every day due to life busyness.