Permanent exclusion - autistic child

[Mayalamadingdong]

Hi,
I'm hoping for some advice from SEND mums in a similar position.
My son, 9, has just been permanently excluded from primary school, 2 weeks before the summer holidays.
He is autistic and has ADHD. He is very clever, amongst top 1% in SATS, but has severe behavioural, communication and sensory issues which means he's been struggling a lot at his mainstream school.
He's been studying in isolation with a 1 to 1 for 2 years now. Mostly he's been doing OK, but occasionally he has violent outbursts and he would hurt staff or damage property. He's been excluded for a few days at a time frequently for years now, and now they've decided to permanently exclude after he's attacked a teacher.
I understand where they're coming from and I know they've been trying to support him.
He is in the process of getting an EHCP (we've been in the queue for 2 years, our council is shocking). The Local Authority now says they'll rush it through given his circumstances.
However, we are now stuck without a school, and we were told it's unlikely he'll have a school place for at least a few months of the next academic year.
My questions are, to those who have gone through similar issues:

1. What are you meant to do while waiting for a place? Just educating them at home yourself? We are nowhere near qualified to meet his educational needs, and work full time. How are we meant to do this?
2. What kind of school would accept a child that isn't behind academically but has a history of violence and erratic behaviour?
3. How do we keep him 'socialising' while he's at home? He has no friends and our friends' kids don't really spend much time around us as it can be risky.

Is there a way to seek out other families in similar situations? I don't want him staring at 4 walls on his own for 6 hours a day :(

Any advice would be much appreciated.

(PS in the 5 minutes it took me to write this, he's managed to threaten a stranger he would kill her, and try to choke his brother... it's endless 🫩)

@littlemousebigcheese can I ask what area you're in? The idea of only being offered part time provision that doesn't really provide his academic needs is terrifying to me!
I agree with you, it's one thing to say they have duty of care but what's actually out there is so limited, whether council or private. Not just education, therapy too, we've not been able to find any suitable therapist as they discount his mental health difficulties as 'autism related'. It feels like there is no place for him. We keep being told 'if he was more behind we'd have been able to help him', as if I'm meant to wish my child had additional disability?? You're right, makes you want to scream!

Yes, it has to be a specialist school as no mainstream school can support him.

You may have to enforce provision, but a few hours a week is not a suitable, full-time education. You don’t have to accept that.

A few thoughts:

• Without an EHCP you have no legal documents identifying how to meet his needs so no leverage within the system
• When you get the EHCP if it doesn't reflect his needs request an emergency review
• You could self refer to Children's Social Services to see if they'll allocate a social worker / Early Help / Team Around Family
• GP could refer to CAMHS for your son communicating using challenging behaviour
• The parents that make the most noise, get heard, this will become a full time project.
• A lot have to go to tribunal to meet EHCP needs and this favours the wealthy
• Inform your line manager of your predicament and update them as it progresses

We'd consider a sabbatical if need be, but obviously would rather not give up our income if possible.
We're absolutely not qualified to provide him the education he needs, and he's a really clever boy. He was the top of his school in all academic attainment.
It's killing me He might be relegated to some remedial environment with zero challenge, or otherwise stay home where we're supposed to educate him with no peers.

Rather than an academic challenge alternative settings might better equip him with behavioral coping skills and other long term benefits.

The level of threat he has posed is minimal, he might kick or spit etc.
At home with us he's never violent. I have a younger child age 5 who he's absolutely lovely with. They fight and sometimes hurt each other like brothers do but never in an excessive way.
The school environment just triggers him so bad that he lashes out a lot.
I don't think he's ever going to be a threat to life. That said, I understand that the school have to protect the safety of teachers, even if it's from a kick or scratch.
I have no idea what kind of environment is suitable though, and it's very hard to research it on our own as school websites are very vague around these things and the council /SEND Operations are not helpful.

Have you googled specialist private options in your area?

A friend’s son sounds very similar to your DS and got PX from mainstream primary in reception. He didn’t have an ehcp at that point but the PX seemed to help speed the process up.

He got a place at an enhanced resource unit attached to a mainstream school and has done really well since and will go to an ER secondary too. They tailor his day around his sensory needs.

My DS also attended there but is very different as he has a learning disability but no behavioural issues.

Yep, very aware... we had to fight quite a lot to get seen by CAHMS even though he had suicidal ideation and lots of other issues, they claimed it was autism related and therefore couldn't help him...
They ended up accepting after a fight but by then we'd gone private and declined their help, as they only offer 6 sessions anyway.
We're already in touch with a solicitor about tribunal. As a child he's entitled to legal aid as well so hopefully we can get some support.
The hardest part is knowing what we're supposed to be fighting for, as no one tells you what options are out there, and researching them is incredibly difficult.

Sometimes a PX is the only way for a child to get the help that they really need and some of the kids I have been involved in PXing actually end up in environments that are beneficial to them such as specialist provision

This is what I was going to say too. I'm glad to hear you understand the decision, and ultimately it should hopefully help to speed everything else up. Often there are no specialist places for children, then they end up with a permanent exclusion after their current school have exhausted all over options and they end up bumped higher up the list as their need is now considered greater.

I really hope you're not waiting long. In the meantime, anywhere local which has space should be asked to take him. I understand your fears of "What kind of school would accept a child that isn't behind academically but has a history of violence and erratic behaviour?" but ultimately it's not up to them. The LA have a duty to find him a space, so if a local school has space in his year group they'll be asked to take him.

Full respect to you for understanding the school has done everything they can. It's not always easy to see that when your child is being failed by those further up the chain (for there not being enough SEN places in the first place, for SEN diagnosis and EHCP referrals taking too long these days etc).

I asked chat GPT if your LA is acting illegally and this is the reply:

This is a heartbreaking and unfortunately common situation for families of children with SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities), especially those who are waiting for support that should legally be in place.

Is the Local Authority (LA) acting illegally?Possibly yes, depending on a few factors. Here's a breakdown of what the law says and how it applies:
🔹 1. Duty to Provide Education After Permanent ExclusionLegal Requirement (Education Act 1996, Section 19):

The Local Authority must arrange suitable, full-time education for a child of compulsory school age who is out of school for any reason, including permanent exclusion. This must start by the 6th school day after the exclusion.

• So, is the LA being illegal here?If the child has been permanently excluded and no alternative full-time education is provided by day 6, then yes, the LA is breaking the law.
• Saying it's "unlikely he'll have a school place for at least a few months" implies a failure to comply with their Section 19 duty.
• 🔹 2. EHCP Delays and FailuresThe fact that you've been waiting two years for an EHCP is extremely concerning and almost certainly unlawful.
• Legally, once a parent requests an EHC needs assessment, the LA must complete the entire process (from request to final plan) within 20 weeks.
• So, is the delay illegal?Yes. A two-year wait is far outside legal time limits. This may be due to unlawful delays or negligence, which could be challenged by judicial review.

🔹 3. What Should Be Happening Now?While waiting for a named school in the EHCP:

• The LA must still provide:
• Full-time, suitable education (could be a PRU — Pupil Referral Unit, hospital school, or tuition)
• Therapy/support if needed (e.g. SALT, OT)
• This provision should be tailored to the child's SEND — not just generic tutoring.

🔹 4. What Can You Do?Here are practical next steps you can take:

• 🔸 Contact SENDIASSEvery LA must provide a SEND Information, Advice and Support Service (SENDIASS). They can help you understand your rights and navigate complaints.
• 🔸 Appeal or Legal ChallengeIf there's no education by Day 6: you can write a formal complaint to the LA and escalate to the Local Government & Social Care Ombudsman (LGSCO).
• If delays are extreme, or the LA refuses to act, judicial review is possible with legal help (often through legal aid).
• 🔸 Push for Interim ProvisionAsk the LA (in writing) for an interim placement, such as:
• A PRU (even if temporary)
• Online tuition
• Home-based provision with a tutor funded by the LA

🔹 FAQs from Your Post AnsweredQ: Do I have to educate him myself at home? ➡️ No. The LA must provide education. You are not legally obligated to home educate unless you choose to (which you haven’t). Q: What kind of school would take him? ➡️ Likely a specialist provision (e.g. SEMH or ASC-specific school). Not necessarily academically behind schools — some special schools cater to cognitively able but neurodivergent pupils. Q: Socialisation concerns? ➡️ Tricky. Consider:

• Online SEND parent groups (like Mumsnet, IPSEA forums)
• Local support groups via Contact, NAS (National Autistic Society), or Scope
• Short breaks services or SEND youth clubs (often run by the LA or local charities)

🔹 SummaryIssue Legal? LA Responsibility No school after permanent exclusion ❌ Illegal if no education by Day 6 Must arrange suitable full-time education 2-year EHCP wait ❌ Illegal Must complete in 20 weeks You educating child at home without choosing to ❌ Not your responsibility LA must step in Would you like help drafting a letter or complaint to the LA? I can also help you find your local SENDIASS or recommend how to engage legal help if needed.

The LA can create a space. It is what they have to do when there are too many children for places at mainstream schools.

But you really need to do your own research. It is very likely that what they offer will not match your son’s needs eg a place at a not “full” mainstream school, a place at a Pupil Referral Unit or a SN school in which he will get no education leading to more frustration and worsening behaviour.
Other parents might be able to help you find hidden provision and rule out unsuitable ones.
Another organisation that can help is SENSOS

Have you done any research into alternative providers in your local area? There are actually a lot of them but you have to look, you might find one that can cater to your ds and then you can suggest it as an option to the la. I hope you find something.

EHCP appeals are brought in the parent’s name, so legal aid, actually legal help, is only available if the parents are eligible.

Most judicial review cases, including enforcement of s19 provision, enforcing EHCP timescales and enforcing EHCPs, are brought in the child’s name, so children can be eligible for legal aid, actually legal help, in their own right.

A blanket policy of refusing CAMHS support because of autism is unlawful.

You may have to appeal but therapies can be included in F of the EHCP. This means provision that wouldn’t normally be offered on the NHS or in excess of what is typically offered can be included and without the need to sit on the normal waiting lists. It is important they are in F because it is then easier to enforce.

This sounds very difficult for you and I imagine you feel very isolated.
I administer PEX hearings and from my experience, I would attend if I were you and insist the SEND person from your local authority also attends. All the PEX I’ve administered have been attended by the Deputy Director of Pupil Services from our LA but when the child has an EHCP or is on the cusp of one, the SEND lead attends. This would give you the chance to press them on the post-sixth day provision, as it sounds as if they are failing him.
Although the hearing will primarily focus on the reasons they’ve excluded him for, the Governors have to consider your child’s best interests, as well as those of others in the school, and you could ask how being out of education, with no alternative provision, is in his best interests.
You also have the right to go to appeal and they Independent Review panel would examine the facts, as recorded at the hearing but this wouldn’t necessarily lead to reinstatement, more likely that the GB panel from the original hearing reconsider the evidence and their decision.
I hope you get some satisfactory progress.

One of the specialist SEN provisions in my area hold open days for prospective pupils & parents, they have their legal team present to offer advice and guidance. Might be worth seeing if any provisions near to you offer similar.

It's all too common for Mental Health services to decline a referral as it's "autism" and not a specific mental health condition, when you look at the person as a whole it does / will have an impact on their MH.
This is where having a Learning Disability offers more access to services like Community Learning Disability Teams who have a wide range of professionals and services to support.
The CLDT template of professionals and services needs to be made available for people who are "just" autistic, but unfortunately we are no where near there yet.

In terms of managing emotional regulation in autism i think ASC experienced occupational therapists and speech and language therapists have a lot to offer. Ensure these aren't overlooked in his EHCP.

I understand the school environment issue as my son was severely dyslexic and would come out of school shaking with frustration and saying he hadn't, but he had wanted to throw the computer out of the window.

It was your comment that he had threatened to kill someone and choke his brother. In very quick succession! They aren't threats to take lightly when said by an individual with an unpredictable temperament.

Look at independent specialist schools. My child isn’t diagnosed PDA but is very anxious, sensory and demand avoidant and also has a dual ASD/ADHD diagnosis. My child isn’t violent but in mainstream would have outbursts where they would throw things, push chairs over etc.
like your child mine is very bright and when regulated is an absolute dream to be around.
We managed to get a move to an independent autism school that is aimed at children who are academically mainstream.

Thank you for this great summary.
We're aware the LA has been acting illegally, and have already consulted a solicitor. As we can't claim compensation, all we'd really achieve by taking legal action at this point is speeding up the process. The LA has already been in touch to say that due to his circumstances they're bumping him to the top of the list.
We'll be ready for tribunal if we're unhappy with the EHCP outcome.
Also, we're still not at day 6 so don't know what they'll suggest, just been told so far that whatever it is it will be home based and interim for several months from. September until a school place is found.

We know it'll be a fight whatever happens...

Depending on where you are in the country Witherslack and Aspris are two of the main independent specialist school providers.

I’m in the south east. There is such a depressing lack of support here for children who can’t be educated in a mainstream setting. There just aren’t private schools equipped to deal with the behavioural challenges some children present and what AP exists is often part time or woefully inadequate. There needs to be a middle road for children who have behavioural issues rather than the severe disabilities that SEND schools near us support as otherwise there’s just .. nothing? I’ve been fighting a long time for better provision for my daughter and even with an EHCP it’s relentless and I’m told there isn’t anything available. There is a private school that could work but they only provide morning or afternoon sessions. And there’s only so much the law bloody does - I feel like I know her rights inside out but if there is no suitable place around, what good is it? Friends have been offered completely unsuitable placements and when they’ve pointed out that it wouldn’t work, they’re told the duty of care has been met as a place has been offered even if it’s nearly 3 hours away or part time or just not suitable in terms of provision. It’s such a mess

Our EHCP took from reception to year 3 to be granted, so nearly four years in total. SEND children are treated appallingly in this country. It took years to get a diagnosis as well

Why the hell should op sacrifice her job??

Her sons needs must be accommodated!

And why not the husband, if someone has to sacrifice their job?

Why does she?