Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Should I take my son out of school and Home Educate?

28 replies

LavendersBlueDillyDilly · 21/05/2008 10:56

He's 4, qutie immature, currently in reception.

Has been put into 'bottom group' since he started, is now saying he doesn't want to go to school as he teacher is 'scary' (she is) and he's 'not clever'.

I'm concerned he is going to loose all his confidence, enthuisam and motivation.

My Dh is not keen on HE, as I would have to give up work. Also my DS is very socialble and has made lots of frinds at school and does like this side of it.

I have the impression that most home edders do so because their child has some SN, or bullied or gifted etc.

My DS2 has no real issues, I don't think, just young and needing time, and protecting.

All opinins greatly received.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Astrophe · 21/05/2008 10:59

I would take him out, but not start any 'formal' home ed. Just hang out with him, chat, read books, take walks, paint...probably all stuff you do already.

It dreadful that he is streamed at 4! and so sad he doesn't feel clever.

Astrophe · 21/05/2008 11:00

There is another MNer about who took her DS out of reception recently...called bringmesunshine (I think...could have the wrong name)...maybe CAT her?

Original poster

LavendersBlueDillyDilly · 21/05/2008 11:02

That's excatly what I want to do Astrophe! That is what he needs, trips out, sharing books, hours cutting and sticking, growing things in the garden etc etc.

I don't do that much at the momemt as he is at school all the time.

Can you do that??

He will be 5 at the end of May.

OP posts:

Astrophe · 21/05/2008 11:07

As far as I know, they don't have to be in school (legally) until 5. And after that you would have to register as a HEer with your local education authority.

Astrophe · 21/05/2008 11:08

I did a search, and I'm fairly sure it is bringmesunshine who has just done this with her DS - definately CAT her, I think she and her DS are having a fab time

ShrinkingViolet · 21/05/2008 11:21

you don't need ot register with anyone BTW - all you need ot do is write to the headteacher and say that you're withdrawing the child (in England and Wales, Scotland and NI are different).
We chose not to send DD3 to mainstream school at 4 because we didn't feel she was ready to sit in a class of 30 children all day (yes, I know reception is all about free play, but it changes pretty quickly in Year 1) and risk losing her inquisitive mind (as had happened to DD1). So, no SN, particular giftedness or bullying, we simply didn't think it was right for her. She'll be going to junior school next year wen she's 7 though.

ShrinkingViolet · 21/05/2008 11:23

there are lots of HE groups who meet up regularly, plus once you get to know a few families, there's loads of time to meet up to play/drink coffee.
What area are you in, there's bound to be at leats one group nearby?

Original poster

LavendersBlueDillyDilly · 21/05/2008 11:25

certainly not free play in my Ds's receptin class!

I am very concerned about Yr1, he is ceratinly not ready for that level of formality, it will crush him and his spirit.

Do you feel your Dd will integrate well into Yr3?

OP posts:

Original poster

LavendersBlueDillyDilly · 21/05/2008 11:28

I am in Birmingham.

I imagine the groups being very focused on SN and/or very lentil weavery, sorry for my huge generalistaions and preconceptions. I'm not very alternative, but am a vegatarian so could just mention that alot.

Seriously though, work is a big issue for me, my Dh would need alot of talking around becase of this issue. But I do feel it would be right for DS2.

OP posts:

WilyWombat · 21/05/2008 11:32

Im not sure how keen I am on the idea of home educating tbh - I can see the point if your child goes to a bad school; otherwise I think perhaps it could be an isolating experience for him long term and will not really do much for his confidence in dealing with other people which he WILL have to do at some point in his life.

Is he full time at 4? If so maybe take him out until he has to go at 5, I know my DS changed massively in 6 months and went from not wanting to leave me to being really happy and confident without me.

Have you spoken to his teacher? Surely in reception the learning should be fun - it certainly is at our primary.

NotABanana · 21/05/2008 11:34

where has he got the idea from that he isn't clever?

I hate how young kids start school here, and it isn't as if it always pays off when they leave school.

But then I hate kids sent to nursery school at 2 as well so not the best person to advice perhaps?

Original poster

LavendersBlueDillyDilly · 21/05/2008 11:34

Do you have to inform the LEA?

Do you have to follow a prescibed curriculum?

Do they check what you are doing and how you are doing it?

OP posts:

NotABanana · 21/05/2008 11:35

Maybe talk to the teacher about what has been said to him?

ShrinkingViolet · 21/05/2008 11:39

I think she will (obviously depends on the class teacher a lot), but she does a lot of "organised" activities (ballet, swimming, trampolining) where she has to do what she's told by a non-family adult. Also, it's a seperate junior school, so the rest of the class will have come from different schools, and won't all know each other either.

Astrophe · 21/05/2008 11:41

Wily - that way of thinking is an intellectual dead end though - 'they need to cope in large groups eventually though, so they may as well do it now'...er, they need to know how to cross busy roads alone eventually, so they might as well do that now too? Sorry, but I think that is fuzzy logic.

I don't think your DS will be isolated Lavender. I don't know about all the practicalities sorry, as I am an expat. My DD is due to start in Sept. She is bright, happy, confident, sociable, and I'm cure she would 'cope' just fine. But there is no way I will send her to school at 4, I don't think its best for her. She would learn a lot, but there is so much she still needs to learn out of school first, and there is plently of time for 'busy' work later.

(Happily, we are emigrating to Aus, and she will start at 5 1/2...or later if we HE)

I really encourage you to do this. I don't think you will regret it.

ShrinkingViolet · 21/05/2008 11:49

no, you don't need to inform the LEA; you don;t need to follow any sort of curriculum at all (unless you and your child want to obviously, and again depends on what your future plans are - as I know DD3 is going to school in Year 3, I'm making sure that she's covered what Years 1 and 2 will have been doing); and no, no-one checks up on you - the LA is allowed to make informal enquiries to determine that you're providing an education suitable for the child, but they don't need ot see you or the child, and certianly not "test" them in any way. Some LAs might try and convince people they have to, but they don't. I've had no contact whatsoever from my LA in the past two years we've been HEing, and I'mhappy to leave it like that .
I wouldn't say our group was lentil-weavery (we have a lot of quite structured families), but there are several DCs with Aspergers/ASD who the school system hasn't suited. There's another group fairly nearby though who are very lentil-weavery, so it's a case of pick where you feel most comfortable.

Astrophe · 21/05/2008 11:53

lol at you mentioning being a vego a lot Lavender!

Original poster

LavendersBlueDillyDilly · 21/05/2008 11:56

I do buy fair trade goods aswell, so that could be another topic of converstaion.

That is the kind of stuff lentil weavers like to talk about, right?

OP posts:

Astrophe · 21/05/2008 11:57

mooncups?

Original poster

LavendersBlueDillyDilly · 21/05/2008 12:03

Of course. and now New Look do organic cotton clothes, I should just blend right in...

Oh and I am a menber of Greenpeace...maybe I am a lentil weaver and I just didn't know it....

OP posts:

WilyWombat · 21/05/2008 12:07

Apostrophe - tbh I think 4 is far too young for full time school but like I said by 5 DS was well and truly ready and quite bored by me What I mean in if you take them out until year 3 the rest of the children will have already formed bonds and friendships your child will be coming in new and it will be no easier for him at that stage...if anything it could be harder.

I know some parents are pushing playgroup because the children are not learning enough...I think those of us who feel our children should not be pressured into academic brilliance from birth just need to stand up for ourselves more.

AbbeyA · 21/05/2008 15:46

You will need to inform the LEA if you deregister him, it is different if you don't get into the system in the first place. You would get information and support on the HE thread. 4 yrs is very young to start, there is something to be said for delaying although, as Wilywombat says,friendships can be harder to form.

ShrinkingViolet · 21/05/2008 16:01

you inform the headteacher of the school when deregistering, not the LA - it's the school's job to pass on the info, you don't need to make contact with the LA at all. (applies only to E & W; Scotland and NI are different)

AbbeyA · 21/05/2008 16:06

I am sure there is a thread about it on HE.

AMumInScotland · 21/05/2008 16:09

Hi, there are a lot of HE groups around, so you may well be able to find one which is not SEN/lentil weavers/etc - lots of parents decide to HE for exactly the same reasons as you're talking about here, so you wouldn't be the only "normal" one around .

Take a look at some of the HE threads - I'll bump up the most relevant ones - you'll see how varied we all are if you look round over there!

And HE certainly won't isolate him or reduce his self-confidence - quite the opposite. He will have a chance to develop his own self-esteem by doing things in his way at his own pace, instead of being convinced he is 'not clever' by a system that doesn't suit him.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread