Should I take my son out of school and Home Educate?

[LavendersBlueDillyDilly]

He's 4, qutie immature, currently in reception.

Has been put into 'bottom group' since he started, is now saying he doesn't want to go to school as he teacher is 'scary' (she is) and he's 'not clever'.

I'm concerned he is going to loose all his confidence, enthuisam and motivation.

My Dh is not keen on HE, as I would have to give up work. Also my DS is very socialble and has made lots of frinds at school and does like this side of it.

I have the impression that most home edders do so because their child has some SN, or bullied or gifted etc.

My DS2 has no real issues, I don't think, just young and needing time, and protecting.

All opinins greatly received.

We are HE'ing right from the start (DS will be 4 in July & hasn't attended any formal school/nursery setting) & do so simply because we think it's a lovely way to live . It's more a lifestyle choice for us rather than a reaction to circumstances like bullying, SN etc....although the fact DS is still as bouncy as ever & I simply cannot see him coping emtionally in a classroom setting has helped rassure me that we are doing the right thing .

If you feel your DS would be better off with you at home then I would say go for it! Obviously you would need to think of the practicalities of living on the one wage, assuming that's an issue for you....and what would happen if you wanted him to return to his school at some point & whether he would be likely to get a place (is is over subscribed?)....but in terms of friends etc then there is nothing to stop your DS having playdates with his old classmates if he wishes, or seeing them at local "after school" clubs, cubs etc.....but there is a thriving HE community in & around Birmingham....where about's are you? We are just south of Brum in Warks.

I feel really strongly that 4 year old boys don't belong in a school setting and still see my sending DS1 to school at 4 (he's now 14) as being one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. If your son is already starting to feel bad about himself and his abilities I think it's time to make a change. Have you heard of Education Otherwise? They give lots of good advice and can point you in the direction of local support. Remember, statutory school age is 5 so you can do whatever you want until then. After that age your responsibility is to provide him with an education that is "appropriate to his age and abilities"; it's really not that difficult at his age.

I homeschooled DS2 (8/9) and DD who was 4 at the time was obviously around as well for a while last year and we had a ball. It was SO nice to not have to do the whole school thing and we made a lot of friends in our local homeschool group. I think it did his confidence a lot of good. In the end I did put him into school (his first here in Oz) which I felt a bit sad about, but he is dyslexic and it became clear that he just wasn't motivated to do the necessary work with me - he wanted me to be his mum, not his teacher. Ironically, if he been highly literate I would probably have continued as I could see how you could do so much more in terms of meaningful education when you have the time to let kids pursue their own interests. I know a lot of people who are doing it very successfully.

Good luck

Forgot to say - if you want to send your son to school at a later stage it is often much easier to get places in years that aren't "normal point of entry" so you might find yourself with more choice then.