Great State Primary vs Excellent private prep

[MMmumMM]

Hi-
We are is in the fortunate position to have been offered out first choice for both Primary State school ( Hampden Gurney which is one of the best state school in the country) and all boy Independant Prep (Hereward House) .

HG offer came out as a bit of a surprise as it is highly oversubscribed and prior to the offer we had already made up our mind on HH which we absolutely loved for our son. The school seems very nurturing while also being very academic and we thought the small structure will suit him very well as he can be a bit shy.

From a logistical point of view though, HH would be much more difficult as I also have a daughter entering reception in sep26 (unknown where for now bit if my son goes to State I am hoping that she will have a place too for next year ).
Distance wise HG is a 25min walk while HH is 25min by tube or 15min by car , but not walkable.

Obviously it would also be nice to save the tuition but I am willing to commit financially if private is the obvious better choice.

I should also add that
-we are both working full time with quite demanding jobs
-we would like our kids to go to private secondary.

I am conscious that both choices will probably fine, would appreciate any advice of parents who went through similar dilemma and get a better understanding of how feasible it is to go from a state primary to great private secondary ( and what it entails in terms of tutoring etc)

Thanks.

Private primary (prep) is a waste of money if there's a good state school.

My children went to a good state primary and so many of their friends went on to top tier private schools for secondary.

Why would you pay for school if you can have an excellent education for free?

I guess for the benefit of smaller classes, extra curricular and the preparation to secondary entrance exams.

Neither my husband or I are british educated and my understanding is that state schools, even the excellent ones dont explicitly prepare you for 11+. Having a school to help navigate the system and the exams/interviews would be very valuable, at least on paper.

Hi- was there a lot of tutoring involved to get into top tier secondary or state school education enough?

Go state and make a choice about secondary later on. FWIW we intended on sending our kids state right the way through but at last moment (literally the day before year 7 started) our state educated DS sat a top London prep school exam and started there. He thrived and was very happy there and went on to get places at 2 top London independents 2 years later. Importantly he’s seen both sides and has many state educated friends - several of whom got into Oxbridge where he didn’t.

I might make a different choice were I to have my time again.

It comes down to which school would suit your child better, not how great the school's reputation is. Only you can decide that, knowing your child's personality and needs.

HH is a genuinely excellent school.

It is definitely NOT a waste to pay for an excellent primary education. I’ve seen what a ‘good’ state school looks like, and am very confident we are getting good value at the private primary we switched to.

it will depend on your options, though, as well as the nature of your children. Yes, some kids seem to thrive anywhere, but for all the rest the quality and character of the environment makes a difference.

I’ve been a teacher/headteacher/trust leader for over 20 years in state and I attended a private prep school. My views on this private/state debate are if you can afford to send your all your children private up to 18, and can do this very comfortably without making compromises, they will have a great education. If you can afford to buy into the lifestyle / parent vibe and the extra costs you will pay for extra curricular, visits , trips etc, it’s a no brainer- I would do it.

If you have to make compromises in your lifestyle or would struggle to keep up with all the extra costs, it’s a careful weigh up about how you want to live your life as a family and what you want your child to experience. I would not advise any parent to send their child to private school if they have an Education Health Care plan or complex SEND needs. There is little accountability in the private sector for this and you are likely to have to pay more money, for example, if your child needs extra support or an extra adult.
The state sector has very high accountability for leaders and teachers in the UK and, provided the school is good or outstanding ( old money as the Ofsted Framework is changing) they will get an excellent education in the UK. Extra curricular may not be as slick as private but it’s free and the private extra curricular offer in the UK is exceptional . My reflections on my 20 years is that really it’s about the quality of parenting which makes the difference for children. I wish you and your kids the very best !

Why pay for something you can get for free AND the school is more convenient to get to, plus the Private option is single sex, which I would never use.
Save Private for Secondary if needed.

This is a great post, thank you

Agreed, I don't have boys but I know many families who are happy with it. Plenty of girls' preps in the area so drop-offs shouldn't be an issue (though you'd need to register by now).

Personally if finances are OK and you plan to go private for secondary, I would take the HH offer. But I'd be speaking to local parents with experience of those specific schools, rather than advice based on generic private vs. state arguments.

We are currently in this situation with an excellent state school place we never expected. We have accepted this based on distance and knowing we can go the other way to private school if it doesn't work out.

However the wrap around situation looks awful, and the extra cirruculars are a sad comparison to the private alternative. We're committed to sort these ourselves but realistically we are at work and can't be running around to tennis etc at 3pm.

The results for your state school look incredible, I would be very tempted. I'd carefully check the entrance criteria for your daughter though, some places don't prioritise out of catchment siblings if you got lucky this year

It completely depends on your child. If your child needs small class sizes then private would be a better choice. If your child is NT they probably will do well in the state primary.

Go state - a mixed primary is v good for both girls and boys, and a local walkable school is much better for primary-age kids - and get tutoring for entrance exams for independent secondaries later on, if that’s what you want for secondary. We did this with my DD and she got scholarship offers for private secondary even though she’d been at a state primary (we didn’t get her tutoring but there are tons of companies out there that do this).

I have this experience of sending a child to the supposedly excellent and local outstanding primary school. I was naive thinking it was the best option for my child. Moved them to a prep after a couple of years due to house move and what we saw and experienced is astounding. I felt bad for missing out on the couple of early years but it also meant I unintentionally saved some money.
It is not about secondary options and destinations, that you can achieve easily from a state school too. It's about the day to day and the enrichment that private schools offer. Of course it has to be a decent private school, some are run by cowboys.

Also I don't know if there are primary school rankings or anything like that, but my close friend who described her child's school as top in the country (it is in north London) also had the same experience. Moved to a prep and has been pleasantly surprised with what the school has to offer. Her child is currently being encouraged and pushed to do new things out of her comfort zone and the parents regret not putting her in such an environment sooner.
If you can afford it, go private.

Sorry I didn't see you have another child and the commute could be a burden. I'd suggest to keep in mind what your DD's school options could be. Ideally a girls school that you could be equally happy about, near your first one's, would be good.
Otherwise, I would go to the state school and wait out for the kids to get a little older and the commute more manageable - perhaps from year 3 (7+).

Go state and move to prep school at a later date, you won't be the only family doing this. The admissions teams at private pre-prep schools must be desperate at the moment. Also check as you may need to pay the Autumn term for HH if you have already signed the paperwork.

Same dilemma here! Appreciate it’s a fortunate one to have - but really not sure which school to pick.

I am swaying towards state, however, they are at pains to point out that wraparound care is oversubscribed and very much not guaranteed. There are also minimal clubs/activities. Not sure the expense saved by avoiding private will be recouped if I have to quit work to make sure I can collect from school every afternoon…

What are you thinking now OP and @Fizzyg ?

I have contacted every childminder in the area with no luck to deal with the state school wrap around. It's ridiculous

Sorry to hear that! I’m in the same boat essentially - school confirmed that there is no availability in wraparound care, and I can’t find a childminder yet either.

We had decided to go for the state school but it feels like a huge gamble if we can’t find any childcare.

We are leaning towards the private option, just because we are convinced that HH is the best choice for our son. We will have to find a solution for our daughter.

The wraparound care for state school is indeed also an issue, although to balance that, , state school has a lot fewer vacation days compared to private schools.

I think most of the comments here about the value of private school over a good primary are ones I would agree with

but Hampden Gurney is not just a good primary school - it’s literally the top ranking primary results wise in the country

in your position surely it comes down to affordability

if its easily affordable private has the edge but in this case it’s very much an edge rather than clear daylight

why don’t you ask HG for leavers destinations to get a sense of where children move on to at 11

Go with HG and supplement if needed with extra curricular sport and music and additional tuition if required.

Even the most selective private London senior schools have a state school entrance pathway. He will be able to apply to those schools from HG. But you may also decided to keep him in the state system.

If you decide you want to move him to a 13+ school, you can move him to
to a private prep at any age. Some move at 10+, others at 11+. There is still ample time then to prepare.

With a declining birth rate and the increasing unaffordabilty of private schools for most families there will always be spaces available.