I need help. I’m utterly distraught and upset with my sons school, does anyone have any advice?

[mummytorands]

So I’ve been awake all night with keeping my 8 year old as comfortable as possible and yesterday’s events and I wanted to go to the school today and complain about how they handled things but I think I’m going to write to the chair of governors instead so I want to box clever.

So, I leave work yesterday (I work 10 minutes from the school by car) at 2:45 my children are usually let out at 3:10-3:20. School call at 2:50 telling me my son (8) has had a fall during playtime she explained he hurt his arm, elbow hip and knee. He was grazed seen by first aid but very upset and could I get him early of course I said yes I’ll be 5 minutes. Asked then as it’s unusual for him to be as upset as she was saying as he’s quite a tough cookie has he done any damage. No she said first aid moved his arm but seems ok but he’s very upset and think it’s best you came early and that she would get my daughter for me too (5). I pull up to school a TA is bringing them both out and it was quite evident to me we needed to get to hospital. I could clearly see my son was in pain, he was holding his arm, his wrist and hand were limp. I was given no accident form but didn’t think about that until later as my main concern was to get him medical attention. I called minor injuries they said they had a 3 hour wait and they wouldn’t be able to xray today so off to a&e I went which was heaving but we were dealt with pretty swiftly. Xray and he’s broken both radius and ulna and one of the fractures is going into the growth plate. I won’t know the full extent until we see the fracture clinic in 24 hours however we were sent home in a plaster cast and sling and I’ve kept him comfortable with calpol alternating nurofen. My plan is to go into school tomorrow asking for the accident book copy but I want to see it and not have it done and back dated. I will tell them he won’t be in for the next couple of days until I know more but I’m not disclosing the damage he’s done until I know for definite.

I am furious. He very clearly to me had broken his arm the moment I seen him. She played it down to me on the phone and his arm had been manipulated and it should not have been. They did not contact me fast enough and no accident from was given. Does anyone have advice? I want to complain because I’m just so unhappy about the handling and I don’t want it to happen again but I want the first aid training to be looked into also. My poor boy.

The OP said quite clearly that her son was in obvious agony.

I am not at all surprised that she didn’t come back to the thread.

But many do. So what is your point?

What is all this about? You’ve misread my posts, keep going on and on at me and you’ve now had a post of mine deleted which did not break Talk guidelines. It simply pointed out that you have completely misinterpreted a post and several others as well.

I can only repeat: The precise type of fracture and risk of complications associated with it was not known until medical examination because the first aider didn’t apparently realise it was fractured. Either way you are taking the comment out of its original context.

Apparently you still have not understood, unless you’re being intentionally antagonistic, that the point about some types of fractures having the potential organ damage was not in reference to long bones. It was in response to a post making a general point about injuries.

No she didn’t. You’re imagining things and over-dramatising. She said "I could clearly see my son was in pain" and "in a lot of pain".

When I injured my ankle and was in a lot of pain the hospital told me after an x-ray that there was no fracture but it was a bad sprain which would cause more pain than a fracture would have done. It was certainly far more painful than the time I broke my arm.

Why do you need somewhere to direct your anger to? Why are you angry in the first place?

You’re understandably upset at your son’s injury but that doesn’t mean anyone is at fault. You would be far better off pouring your emotions into making him feel safe and secure.

Who would you have blamed if he had fallen and hurt himself at your home?

Another one who agrees with this, they called you and asked you to come immediately- there’s not much more they could have done. It’s not always obvious straight away that bones are broken- even a doctor will need X-ray to confirm. the teacher isn’t a doctor, she shouldn’t be expected to spot diagnose a broken arm. If they had left him to it and made him continue with the day you’d have cause for complaint, but they took his pain/ distress seriously and called you to come straight away. That was all they could do.

I’m so sorry your son hurt himself- I hope he is recovering ok .

I'm not surprised either. Most people don't like being told they are being unreasonable.

Why does everyone think they called her immediately? She said they called near school finish time and said he hurt it at playtime, doesn’t that mean over an hour delay?!

I understand why you are angry.

My DS, 13, ASD, got hit in the chest at 9.40am with a cricket ball. School asked if he was ok, he said yes. Due to his ASD, he would never admit publicly he was hurt.

Came home, clearly in pain and completely ashen faced. He had x 2 fractured ribs.

School gave no shits.

@mummytorands

"School call at 2:50 telling me my son (8) has had a fall during playtime"

What time was playtime?

At most primary schools, they have a mid-morning break and they also play at lunchtime, but they wouldn't have a break in the afternoon, so an injury would be unlikely then, unless they are doing PE.

I think your only grounds for complaint would be if there was an unreasonable delay in them contacting you. I would suggest that when an accident happens, a first aider should assess immediately, and if the child needs further medical attention they should call you as soon as they can, within half an hour at most. (Obviously in an emergency you would hope they would call an ambulance first but in this case he clearly didn't need one.)
If you think that the first aider got it wrong and failed to identify that your child needed further medical attention, and left them in school for the rest of the day instead of contacting you promptly, then yes you should complain.

Did your son tell you what happened? Did he fall off a climbing frame?

I hope he is doing ok.

DD2 fell at home once, cried a bit, I comforted her and she carried on playing on the swings and slide. About half an hour later I thought perhaps we should take her to minor injuries to get an x-ray but felt a bit daft/time wasting as I thought she may have sprained her wrist. She had broken both bones in her forearm and was duly plastered up. Some kids mask pain like hell or have a high threshold. Later she was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. Her arm was fine - she did gymnastics for many years afterwards.

Gosh, that's awful - I'm sorry.
My son has autism too and he would also not admit to being in pain (or upset or anything else) - I can imagine him doing this.
As a parent, it's heartbreaking to know that your child is not able to communicate their needs and not be able to trust the adults responsible for them to understand.
In your son's case, I think he should have been taken to see the school nurse to examine him privately. In that scenario he might have felt more able to admit he was in pain.

To be fair there’s not much that can be done about broken ribs. A van drove into Dh on his bike and he broke some ribs but wasn’t any urgent treatment (or any treatment really) needed.

I do feel for schools facing this type of dramatic parental response then if they are over cautious parents get pissed off over being disturbed at work for a bruise etc.

Well I guess it depends what time playtime is? I had assumed from the wording of the OP that they had called just after. (My school incidentally has playtime at exactly that time).

Why would they leave it for hours and then ask her to pick him up that close to the end of school? Seems like that would be odd if they’d already left it that long, that they would suddenly decide it couldn’t wait another 15 or so mins?

When I injured my ankle and was in a lot of pain the hospital told me after an x-ray that there was no fracture but it was a bad sprain which would cause more pain than a fracture would have done. It was certainly far more painful than the time I broke my arm.

And? It doesn't matter what was causing the pain. Or whether or not the bone was broken. The facts are that the OP's son was clearly in a lot of pain (which the staff could see was unusual for him) and the school sat with it and didn't document anything instead of making sure that he immediately went to a hospital.

Don't get angry. It was an accident, and probably happened in the normal rough & tumble of primary school - it may be that other children were also being attended to. Who knows - what was your DS doing to be so injured?

Go into the school to ask for details of what actually happened. Ask questions.

If you find that the answers suggest neglect or lack of training in first aid, follow up. But not in anger.

Your anger is displaced upset and fear, and is really understandable. But it won't achieve anything. If you think procedures need improving, go in constructively so that it doesn't happen that way to another child - say that to them. But find out first what happened.

People have been conditioned to expect the bare minimum from state education - that's the problem.

Yup. Teacher for 35 years. Never been a first aider, wouldn't put myself forward for it as you can never do the right thing. Schools won't have first aiders soon and then what happens?

So what would have rather the school done? X-rayed him to confirm if he was telling the truth?

This thread has gone completely out of control.

Children fall over! Accidents happen! There's no way to guarantee they won't unless you keep them all inside, sitting still and wrapped in cotton wool.

I do hope poor love's feeling better soon.

But I agree they seems to have done everything a limited skillset could do.

It would have been pointless calling an ambulance - so they called you to deal with it.

Stop directing anger anywhere, let it go. But I'd be wanting to know how the accident happened in the first place and if the school might be liable for that.

@LillyPJ fall over, yes. Break your ulna no!

So what would have rather the school done? X-rayed him to confirm if he was telling the truth?

They should have made sure he was taken to an hospital as soon as the accident happened.

He broke his ulna not his skull, jesus wept. It's not uncommon.

They should have made sure he was taken to an hospital as soon as the accident happened.

But the OP hasn't said when it happened. Just when she was called.