I need help. I’m utterly distraught and upset with my sons school, does anyone have any advice?

[mummytorands]

So I’ve been awake all night with keeping my 8 year old as comfortable as possible and yesterday’s events and I wanted to go to the school today and complain about how they handled things but I think I’m going to write to the chair of governors instead so I want to box clever.

So, I leave work yesterday (I work 10 minutes from the school by car) at 2:45 my children are usually let out at 3:10-3:20. School call at 2:50 telling me my son (8) has had a fall during playtime she explained he hurt his arm, elbow hip and knee. He was grazed seen by first aid but very upset and could I get him early of course I said yes I’ll be 5 minutes. Asked then as it’s unusual for him to be as upset as she was saying as he’s quite a tough cookie has he done any damage. No she said first aid moved his arm but seems ok but he’s very upset and think it’s best you came early and that she would get my daughter for me too (5). I pull up to school a TA is bringing them both out and it was quite evident to me we needed to get to hospital. I could clearly see my son was in pain, he was holding his arm, his wrist and hand were limp. I was given no accident form but didn’t think about that until later as my main concern was to get him medical attention. I called minor injuries they said they had a 3 hour wait and they wouldn’t be able to xray today so off to a&e I went which was heaving but we were dealt with pretty swiftly. Xray and he’s broken both radius and ulna and one of the fractures is going into the growth plate. I won’t know the full extent until we see the fracture clinic in 24 hours however we were sent home in a plaster cast and sling and I’ve kept him comfortable with calpol alternating nurofen. My plan is to go into school tomorrow asking for the accident book copy but I want to see it and not have it done and back dated. I will tell them he won’t be in for the next couple of days until I know more but I’m not disclosing the damage he’s done until I know for definite.

I am furious. He very clearly to me had broken his arm the moment I seen him. She played it down to me on the phone and his arm had been manipulated and it should not have been. They did not contact me fast enough and no accident from was given. Does anyone have advice? I want to complain because I’m just so unhappy about the handling and I don’t want it to happen again but I want the first aid training to be looked into also. My poor boy.

It depends what you mean by ‘manipulated’. Her arm may have been moved, but that wouldn’t have caused the fracture. It may be that it was at an awkward angle so had to be moved.
Until you speak to the school you won’t know the full picture. Yesterday the main concern was getting your DD to hospital, not completing an accident form. If the 1st aider was sat with your DD until you arrived it’s likely they wouldn’t have had the opportunity to complete it there and then.
You’re clearly upset, as you’d child is badly hurt. But unless a member of staff pushed your DD off a chair or something they are not the enemy here. As for not telling them about the break, that’s just daft!

It’s happened to both my children, one of them 3 times. It’s very common. Every year we have a child in school with a broken bone.

I don't think there is any need to direct anger at anyone here in terms of the treatment. You don't mention how the incident happened at all through which is presumably a key thing as to whether there is anyone to "blame". If school sent home everyone with a injured wrist or ankle immediately without giving time to assess we would be picking up our kids every week.

Primaries have afternoon break-times, which usually finish at 2.30. So it would've been 10 mins or so until calling OP.

If the accident had just happened, the form wasn't the priority - calling mum to collect child was.

They are not doctors nor do they have x-ray vision. You cannot tell a bone is broken just by looking – severe sprains have similar outward looking symptoms. Misdiagnosing him would be far worse.

I’m not sure what you expected school to do? They called you. Ambulance would have been inappropriate, they can’t actually tell if something’s broken out not…
Friend’s son broke his hand/wrist and she and her husband thought it was okay - just sprain for several days before getting it xrayed and they’re both doctors…

At the very least:

Called immediately, not over an hour later.

Given mum a proper account of what happened over the phone and in an accident report.

Made it clear on the phone that he had an injury that potentially needed hospital.

What was appropriate then?

Yes. The OP wasn’t told NOT to bother with hospital.

The school aren’t medically trained. They didn’t give medical advice.

A broken arm isn’t a big deal, is it? I mean maybe if you’re a drama lama, but kids get fractures

Child was hurt, school called you, you took child to hospital, child is treated - all good and all free of costs…

People like you won't be happy until all risks of accidents are removed from school. No play-time in the yard, indoors at all times, no independent playing, an adult standing over the children at all times.

Where are you getting the hour's delay from?

@Gall10 they have a duty of care to the child they should have sought more medical attention and if that means taking him directly to hospital that should have happened with mum meeting them there at the very least they should have called 111 to get advice on what to do given the clear seriousness of the injury.

@mummytorands I would be so upset and feel incredibly let down by the school

First aiders are taught to call for help first, then deal with the victim of the injury. I would suspect that the first aider in this case is getting through a lot of victims of injuries from a school playground and may have become complacent? I don't know as it maybe your son was very brave and they knew if they called an ambulance it would take much longer than calling you to get him medical attention. Also the first aider may not have moved his arm, this was repeated by a receptionist on the phone and they may have been muddled - possibly the first aider asked your son to move his arm.

It might be appropriate to wait 48 hours to see what the reaction of the school is, but most of all concentrate on your son now as he is your first priority.

Unfortunately as a parent shock also sets in and cortisone levels will have been high - not allowing you to sleep and thus your mind has been whirling all night.

Think about what you want to achieve after the incident?
If you go in all guns blazing at the first aider - will this put anyone off being trained again and you don't have first aiders in a school?
Did the receptionist get it correct about the FA moving the arm?

Id really wait until your cortisone levels have dropped and you can sit down with pen and paper and write down what you think happened and what you want to achieve by writing to the governors.

Hope your son is comfortable and his arm heals quickly.

My point is, teachers are human, some kind of a thank you goes a long way. Just for a second to put yourself in someone else;s shoes instead of assigning them all as 'baddies' who are automatically in the wrong. Its horrible to watch a child be in pain, even if its not yours, They arent robots ffs.

Of course you're worried and upset for your child but I honestly don't think you should go into the school complaining or going to the governors. It was an accident and it sounds as if the school followed the correct procedure. By all means ask what happened and how it was treated.
If your son's school is similar to my school, there won't be a paper accident form because it's all done on an iPad now. We'd have to log the time and location, child's name, a brief description of what happened, any signs of injury, any treatment given and what happened next eg child stayed in school etc.
Although you said your child was holding his limp wrist, that's not necessarily indicative of a fracture. (An old friend of mine, didn't realise her daughter had a fractured wrist for a week!) and the member of staff probably asked him to wiggle his fingers, or asked him if he could move his arm. Hardly manipulation!
We have countless children who hurt themselves at playtime and there's only so much we can do there and then! Most upset children will soon settle but the school obviously kept an eye on him and realised he wasn't and so they contacted you.
To the poster who said they should have called an ambulance ...... really?!!!! The child wasn't unconscious and could quite easily walk to a car! Can you imagine if we had to call an ambulance every time a child hurt themselves? Madness!!!!
I hope your son is more comfortable today

My daughter broke her arm in 4 places and dislocated it. 3 surgeries, 5 hospitals (one being 3 hours away) and 4 years later and it’s actually still partly paralysed. Of course it’s terrible but it was an accident not anybody else’s fault. The school did the right thing and contacted you. I got a call, got in the car and took her to hospital. We stayed in for a few days and they were so worried calling me and messaging etc. but like I kept saying them accidents happen and that’s all it was. People do what they think is the right thing at the time.

They will only take a child to hospital in a life threatening emergency situation.

This is not a life threatening emergency.

No wonder kids lack resilience now when parents are distraught and ready to go to war with the school over their handling of a very common playground injury.

What do you think they did wrong?

Send it to the papers with your best compo face.

My OH is a primary teacher and our car is not insured for him to use for work use – i.e. transport pupils. So he wouldn't take a child from his class in our car to hospital. If something happened en route, he could be liable and, judging by some of the responses on this thread, parents would be rubbing their hands in glee to make him pay/punish him for it.

Nor should the school call 111 – that's the job of parents! If they did do that no doubt they'd be accused of overstepping and GDPR breach for sharing the child's medical information. Schools cannot win.

@Crackanut an adult should be supervising at all times, it is their duty of care. They need to be able to write exactly what happened and why. I would very much want a full account of how my DS ended up with such serious injuries while at school.

And no I do think children should play and have fun and accidents are inevitable but the school has to have proper supervision as well. My DD knocked her two front teeth out at school, I had no issues as the school had supervision, they knew what had happened & this also matched my DD's account, they called me immediately and offered a more information and advice than OPs school in this case

You don't understand a double negative!

Wasn't told NOT to bother= means she WAS told to!

I totally agree. If the school are saying oh he’s upset but fine, and then you turn up to fine a clearly broken arm (and it sounds like severe injury was clear here) then there is a problem. I just hope he was not left long in that state. But yes I would be upset and angry too OP. I am sorry, it’s bad enough your son has broken his arm without the aggravation and worry of them mishandling it. I hope he feels better soon.

Some parents on here need to think what kind of responses they are modelling to their children.

A fracture in a child is not a disaster, they are very common and most of the time heal without sequelae.

Making a massive deal out of it will stress out the child and make them worry disproportionately when future accidents and injuries occur.

It's a safeguarding failure to have not recognised a serious injury. Accidents happen but a child with two breaks should not have been left with it flapping around. They really should have called the ambulance so the paramedics could at least stabilise it. You have every right to be furious. They have zero judgement.