Bright DD just diagnosed with dyslexia in Y3, what do I do now?

[Newbie1011]

My DD has been struggling with reading, writing and spelling since year one and we finally had her formal dyslexia assessment last week (she is Y3 now) having been on the waiting list a while.
The assessor confirmed DD has dyslexia. She said her IQ was well above average (95th centile) and she would expect someone of her IQ to be excelling at school. But in fact her attainment scores are all low average.
Apparently her problems stem from relatively weak verbal working memory and weak speed of phonological processing (her rapid automatic naming score was low average so a big disparity apparently).
DD was found to have good visual working memory and excellent short term memory capacity.
The assessor found she has been masking her problems to some extent by using her good vocabulary/ verbal skills and her visual ability (picturing whole words rather than working with sounds) to support her to read.
I feel overwhelmed by the challenge of how to help her and would love to hear advice from anyone who has navigated this successfully. At the moment DD loves learning and is socially really happy and settled at her current (state) primary so I would be loath to move her, but at the same time I'm slightly terrified by how much she has fallen behind in spelling and writing (her reading has come on a lot this year but it's been a major effort), and by the scale of the challenge we face helping her to overcome these difficulties in the context of an overstretched state system.
DD has a private dyslexia tutor at home already but it's only 45 mins a week (the tutor can't offer us any more) - the tutor is amazing but 45 mins a week feels a bit like a drop in the ocean. We also read together every night and practice spellings and times tables, but writing creatively/ expressing herself in writing is the thing she absolutely can't stand to do which breaks my heart a bit.
I already feel like we spend our lives doing school work with her and I want to make sure we don't put her off for life but I want to make sure we're taking the right approaches.

The Nessy products are brilliant- they're designed to look like games but they track progress, you can tailor goals etc. They are paid for but are well worth it in my opinion. There are different ones based on what you're wanting to work on. Home and Home Educators | Nessy

I hadn't seen these, thanks so much. I'll give them a try. It's quite an overwhelming selection! Are there any in particular you think work well? Her main issues are spelling and composition/ structuring her own writing.

I'd start with the reading and spelling one Nessy Reading and Spelling | Nessy, and then a couple of weeks later introduce the writing beach one alongside that Writing Beach | Nessy, as you want her to be comfortable with the basics and the program itself before introducing concepts that are slightly more complex.
The Chimpfu app (also from Nessy) is also great if you want to give some screentime in the car/on a journey. It's based on the style of Fruit Ninja so the kids enjoy playing it. App: Chimp Fu | Nessy

Nessy have a home tutoring dyslexic package that is Writing Beach, Dyslexia Quest, Spelling and Reading and Touch Typing (Nessy Fingers). Worth having a look at that - short videos are used and then games reinforce the lesson.

There are books on visual memory and audio memory that might be useful https://www.glsed.co.uk/product/sen/behavioural-aids-fidget-and-adhd-products/behavioural-aid-books/lda-visual-memory-skills-book/g1000275?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=PMAX&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwm7q-BhDRARIsACD6-fUZsZBGoXlb0zS3s7hXMocGjqMMzoPD5toPJq_bQe1OCh5vLgfo9ioaAuK2EALw_wcB and https://www.amazon.co.uk/Auditory-Memory-Skills-Mark-Hill/dp/1855034409.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/200-Tricky-Spellings-Cartoons-Mnemonics/dp/1787755428/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2I4M0EPLU6IY4&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.tPWGPQ6WoRNviX74v6NaxuCKr79WhnwrcM53SwdLccFRmz8TP71t1-KUTkVDZ-PfpDtrxsL1ynNxXTSJ9F1QOexEV9cAicfqndLWEHk9TLAHkaD_AyIFqrw9BfxwUE9uG3y4BJoz5Ud4VFH5ICprPffkY528ezKOWtBl69bjnpnbC0D2q3rTXjv0B0lIw1E2lAHHZzfPZ1ULzAnoeboHxHF7b0NVXTg5ZkUq_uwtpRw.tWln82uBO6lF1J-BVnPZCkwmuUFye67BzrFblBWMnoc&dib_tag=se&keywords=spelling+book+mnemonic&qid=1741610506&s=books&sprefix=spelling+book+mnemonic%2Cstripbooks%2C118&sr=1-1 this author does a good range of spelling aids.

I've just recommended this series of webinars and info on dyslexia which is a good start for parents - all about what the kids see and how to help them. Well worth a watch and identifies adaptive technologies which might be a great help
https://www.kingston.ac.uk/faculties/faculty-of-health-social-care-education/department-of-education/kudyt/kudyt-webinars/?dm_i=1M62,8V4H5,9DECSO,10WY6Y,1

Try not to panic as her good natural ability will stand to her as she progresses through school and she can begin to play to her strengths as time goes on..picking subjects that suit her brain.
For the creative writing could she tell you her story so she doesn't have to worry about spelling, sentence structure etc and can just let her imagination run. Then when you write it she can read it back and enjoy her story.
Saying that a lot of dyslexia children find it difficult to build pictures in their head and have to be trained to do that. So if ye read a story together get her to make a video in her head of what's happening and describe it back to you. This is a skill she needs to learn as it won't be automatic.
Also they need a lot of revision to get stuff into their long term memory so little and often with spelling..focus on common words that are proving difficult eg: down/ because and get her to write them consistently until they are in her long term memory.
My ds is dyslexic. I saw as he went through school and university there was more support: longer times for exams/ lecturer allowed dictaphone etc so he achieved well. He now works in marketing where his excellent people skills are his biggest asset. Don't put extra pressure on her as she will be tired after school due to constantly masking. Make sure all teachers she engages with know her strengths as well as her struggles so they don't write her off when they see the crazy spelling. Don't presume all teachers will know. Give them a copy of her report so they actually get it.
Her hard work and persistence will stand to her going forward.

Thank you so much @gato21 - that sounds great, as I am struggling to even get my head around what her challenges are really, let alone how we can resolve them.
Are the Nessy games fun, do kids enjoy doing them?
I feel so at sea at the moment. I want to do all we can to help her succeed academically but I am obviously wary of overloading her home life with constant academic interventions - I am finding it really hard to know what the balance should look like - I’m the sort of parent who thinks kids should be left to chill out and be bored and find their own amusement at home really - but I’ve been forced into a very different type of parenting by this! Thanks again for responding, it’s so much appreciated

@Newbie1011 My DD used to really enjoy the games, she didn't get much screentime to start with which I think helped as then the novelty of getting to use the tablet/computer was there. You could always do 30mins of Nessy and then 20 mins of another game if she's more used to using a tablet/computer.

The Nessy games are fun, and they are short which helps. My DS does Nessy Fingers at school and the rest at home. They're not as much fun as minecraft but bribery gets us there.

If she doesn't want to read a book, get some audio books to improve her vocab (a brilliant idea from our SENCO). Put the subtitles on the TV as well. Label the cupboards?

I would say that most of us feel very similarly to you - they need to rest but we also need to put in so much more effort into helping them outside of school so they don't fall behind. I don't have a magic suggestion for that unfortunately, wish I did. We try and do a bit of reading and toe by toe each day and then try to do nessy for 20 mins at least twice a week. We also do activities outside of school (beavers, martial arts) to give more confidence and reach another group of friends.

This was us 8 years ago. Search up Twice exceptional (2e) kids. It's US centric, but gives a clue about trying to work with competing strengths and weaknesses.

Get her typing! It allows for all sorts of editing!!!

Find something she excels at - you need to maintain her enthusiasm.

We found primary tough. Lower end of secondary was a bit better - content matters more than perfect presentation. GCSE's are looking good - yes, there is a discrepancy between the english/mfl grades and the sciences, but they are all passes, and looking on target for physics, Chem, further maths a'levels.

@xmasdealhunter thats great, thank you. My DD doesn’t get much screen time either so hopefully she will go for it.
@junebirthdaygirl thanks so much for the kind message and the thoughtful advice. I definitely need to be talked down from panic-buying a load of resources in my desperation to fix the problem, I probably need to come to terms with the fact that this is a long game. I think you’re so right about longer term this being easier to manage. So much of her educational experience right now is reading, writing and spelling. And times tables. It just feels like a slog for her. Also, I think you’re right she struggles to build pictures in her head. Her compositions also just become a bit jumbled as she struggles to organise her sentences a bit. She wrote a very funny story with me though using voice activation software, in the style of the Daisy books/ wimpy kid which we’d been reading together. She really goes for humour (the dog man books have been a godsend and have led to her recently reading independently for the first time ever). Thanks so much for sharing your experience and for the encouragement. Your DS sounds wonderful, I’m sure you’re really proud of him

There is a game online called Hit the Button which is very good for practicing times tables. 5 minutes a day. Saying that my dh..probably undiagnosed dyslexia..still doesn't know his times tables after a long career in a medical field so it's not the end of the world not knowing them. Counting in 2s/ 5s/ 10s is usefull.
Remember your dd will always be prone to driving herself hard so going through her report with her will help her understand she is doing her best and it's not her fault.

There are a ton of resources out there and that in and of itself is a bit overwhelming as it’s a bit too easy to be a bit scattergun. The thing I’ve found the best through for my 8yo bright but terrible spelling) is the apples and pears programme. It’s dull and takes a good 20 minutes a session but it gave me structure and a focus point. More importantly, it is making a difference as it repeats and drills and repeats and drills again.

What you have to be careful of though is the statutory words for y3/4 and 5/6 are just hard for dyslexic kids and they won’t get there without a ton of work at home to over-learn. Y4 is very heavy on time table learning. It can be a bit of a miserable period as the curriculum narrows a bit and there is a big focus on stuff kids with dyslexia can find really hard.

@junebirthdaygirl thanks for the times table game suggestion and the other advice. I agree re: taking her through the report. I think it's a lot for her to take on though, I feel like it's all well and good to reassure her she is really clever, but that isn't much good to her if her 'type of clever' is not allowing her to do well at school or preventing her having to struggle. I think I'm probably still searching for the right message/ the right way to talk to her about it all.
@Bunnycat101 that's exactly right - the curriculum seems so narrow and the focus on stuff she finds so hard is very relentless. I'll have a look at apples and pears. We had been doing stareway to spelling which might be similar - it focuses on the 300 most common words, and the constant drilling has definitely had a positive impact, though it's very joyless. Previously we were tearing our hair out over the weekly spelling lists which she was finding impossible and they'd just fall out of her head the day the test was done. I'm honestly in awe of how well she puts up with it all quite honestly, I really hope her academic experience broadens and improves at some point!

Does she have hobbies outside of school ?

My daughter, who is a few years older but sounds quite similar in terms of intelligence/dyslexia struggles is gaining a huge amount of confidence from her hobbies outside of school. She does dance and drama and they make her feel like other skills are valued, and the creativity she struggles with when writing can all come out when they do improvisation in drama etc.

She is finding it easier now she has a laptop to use in class, and learning touch typing has helped with this. She is also enjoying dictating to send messages/type up work.

Instead of writing stories we make them up together through playing with her Lego characters. She's got a lovely story telling mind.

Another thing I have found is that she loves learning through documentaries, so where I might have poured over an encyclopedia she enjoys watching a documentary about topics she is interested in. She seems to absorb a lot more that way (I am the opposite!)

I think spending time nurturing her talents and interests is at least as, if not much more, important as drills and exercises to work on areas she finds hard.

Use the Barrington Stoke books for reading.

Hi, your DD has similar scores to my assessment I got at university. So she'll get better support, that's great. I found secondary school less frustrating. I never memorised all my times tables, my mum tried hard with them for me, I still got an a in GCSE maths due to my high IQ. So it sort of cancels itself out in a way. I wouldn't have liked adults to make a big deal about it. I was behind on spellings, writing and times tables, but thought as computers were becoming more everyday when I was at school, as though they were a bit unnecessarly worth the effort I had to put in to be even at average. Your DD might be able to use a laptop for tests which would be great. I liked chess.

Thank you for all the replies. @madamweb I have been wondering about whether we should get her a laptop. I think it would be amazing for her to be able to express herself in words more easily and have access to help with spellings. On the other hand I'm nervous to introduce this so early that her spelling and handwriting suffers even more. What do people with more experience than me think about all this?
Also, if we were to get her a laptop, is there a simple one anyone can recommend? She is only 7 and doesn't get much screen time at the moment so she is not computer savvy and learning to type would be a big thing. She did try it once before with the BBC garage band thing but didn't get on with it at all - maybe it's time for another try, perhaps with the Nessy version.
And yes, she does have interests outside school- art/ crafts/ making things is a huge passion and she is also keen on gymnastics. She does the later once a week and we've recently signed her up for a sewing course so she can make her own clothes and accessories with a sewing machine which she is absolutely loving.

Also, interested to hear what sort of support was put in place for your DC in primary school once they had a diagnosis - and how much of a fight did you have to put up?

Similar experience to others. It is tempting to spend on resources but I would just keep to supporting with homework. My eldest struggled through Primary and was deemed as not meeting expected levels throughout. We had a tutor once a week. But secondary was where she got more support - extra time, all teachers aware she might need to ask more questions etc, and working on the Lexia programme. She also started to get into reading for her own enjoyment around year 8. Now doing a science degree at one of the top universities. She is a whizz on her laptop and iPad which has been essential for her. My youngest is having a similar journey. Agree that having hobbies outside of school is great for confidence. All kids develop at different paces but having a secondary school that can provide the right support was key for us (and one of the reasons our middle child has not done as well at secondary imo).

Dyslexia specialist teacher here. The Nessy apps are great for learning the first 100 and next 200 Common words and also for CVC words and digraphs.

Going by the profile you have given, if they are in the low average range, they might benefit from Wordshark which IMO has a higher level of challenge and the range of games works more to develop both visual and auditory skills than Nessy. Hopefully you can try both and decide what might suit your DC best.
A laptop could be a good choice if your DC can learn to touch type, as this will go into their motor memory and help develop automaticity of spellings. You could try Englistype Junior for this. If touch typing becomes their normal way of working (by negotiation with School) and school records this, they would be entitled to use it for exam access arrangements .

@Newbie1011 DD doesn't use the laptop all the time by any means, but it is there for longer chunks of writing and she does some writing for pleasure at home with it too. I figure learning to touch type is good for everyone - I know I am glad I learnt.

Nice handwriting is a nice to have but realistically these days if you are dyslexic then as you get older you are likely to choose to type /dictate and likely to always have the option to.

I build writing into fun tasks like she might write a list of what she needs to pack, or write messages to her cousins

But I think it is important to not make your child feel they are being "fixed" all the time and spend a lot of time just helping them enjoy what they are good at

Hi, can I ask how did you apply for the dislexia assessment? What did it involve? Thanks

Sounds like my DS who is now in sixth form and doing very well. Things that helped:

• Seeing a behavioural optometrist and getting help with convergence insufficiency (he was basically seeing double and also couldn't track)
• using the dyslexia gold online products. I found these much more straight forward than Nessy, which we tended to get lost in, and more interesting than toe by toe etc.

There was a lot of hard work at the start - working with him every evening. But it paid off as he has now sailed through secondary.

You can find a qualified dyslexia assessor at Patoss Tutor Index
https://www.patoss-dyslexia.org/tutor-index-landing
Put in your postcode and it will bring up a list of assessors in your area. Make sure you choose one with the letters APC after their name and check that they have experience in assessing your child’s age range.
It usually takes about three hours and will consist of a wide range of standardised tests. Some assessors like to do it in one ‘hit’ with a break in between and others prefer to do it over two separate sessions.
Expect to pay around £500-£600 +. It sounds like a lot but represents a lot of training, expertise & behind the scenes time on the assessor’s part. A formal dyslexia diagnostic assessment is also a legal document which will show where your child’s underlying difficulties specifically lie, and will include personalised recommendations.
IMO it is better to go through Patoss than the BDA (who I believe take a cut for the introduction), and vastly better not to mention cheaper than going through an Educational Psychologist, unless you think they have multiple conditions.