Reception class behaviour

[MrsRobinsonAlphaCentauri]

Hi everyone would value some advice for a situation with my son in reception class. He bit another child last week. But please keep reading to the end of the post before your comment. I know biting is wrong, and we've written an apology card to the child in question.

But what I'd like advice on is that, my son has come very sad for the last two weeks and when I ask him about it, he always repeats the line 'Mummy, I'm not a baby' now he's an August baby and is really tiny, he's barely 100cm. He's told and I've observed at drop off and pick that the other children, do treat him like a baby some of them pick him and carry (and he really doesn't like) when I see these situations I always say to the other children. "I know you think he's cute, and he is little but please don't pick him up and I encourage him to do the same'

On the day of the biting (Friday) class teacher had to leave for an appointment but his TP told me that it occured at lunchtime (their playground has 180 kids in it), and the other child had picked my son up around the arms and carried him across the playground. My son says he told the other boy to put him down (not sure if this is true, he's still not the best communicator), and he said the boy wouldn't and 'I really not like it!') Sons words. I don't think the other child was being mean at all, and rather a bad mix of things on a loud and noisy playground, I also don't think its a supervision thing, 180 kids and it must be really hard to tell what's a game and what's an incident

So my question is when I speak to his teacher on Monday, do you think it's ok for me, to ask the teacher to have a wider conversation with the class, about not picking my son up and not hugging him without asking, and not calling him baby?

Sorry for the essay, but I thought all that context might help with the final question.

I absolutely get what it would be like to be on the recieving end, I was bit quite a few times in primary school.

My son has told his class mates time and again, put me down I not like l, confirmed by his class teacher.

So I do get that being bitten is awful, but also so is being a little boy who is restrained and that is what happens, arms pinned to side. And verbal requests to stop ignored. So he's only got his head to play with.

Imagine being in his shoes.

This is a fault on both sides equation not just a boy bit another kid for no reason!

If this situation happened to me as an adult, I'd be well within rights to report it to the police. I get that the other child is four and thinks it's fun. Can we remember that my son is four and scared and repeatedly having his requests to bodily autonomy ignored.

Yes, I understand that it's awful for the other kid, but my job is to fight for mine and his right to listened to and have his right to bodily autonomy respected

How and why did that start? What did your son do to annoy them? This is an escalated situation.

I’m absolutely not putting the blame on your kid, just wondering if there is more to the story that’s missing? I’m just trying to look at the whole picture. Do they start fighting over the same toy for example? I doubt this has all started with kids just picking up your child as he is small, 4 year olds don’t think like that (I have a 4 year old myself). There’s a basic purpose for it which the teacher has failed to recognise.
Those 4 year olds have learned that action from someone else (older siblings for example)which the teacher needs to address so there’s more to the story there.

We had to get cross with my daughters school over this. The teachers were babying her as well as the kids. She has a growth disorder so is very short & cute looking. It really affected her socially - kids were picking her up, only ever letting her "be the baby" in games.

It can very difficult to challenge - it helped that my daughter is quite academic, they stopped regarding her as a "baby" when she was reading better than them.

Op - get really cross with school. Dont be afraid to go a bit ott on it. Other children picking him up against his will is completely unacceptable.

My nephew (an otherwise perfectly behaved, mature boy) once bit for a similar reason. He felt trapped and reacted instinctively.

I posted in my response today, that the class.teacher told.

That the rest of the class baby him all the time, carry him to activities, call him a baby, she has said that she has told them generally on several occasions that nobody in the class is a baby and carrying is not to be done.

She's told me today in absolute terms that this is how they treat him, without any encouragement from.my.son in fact for weeks, he has been repeating the line :I'm not a baby'
When they pick him up he repeatedly tells them 'put me down I not like it's

She says in the classroom she is on hand to manage it and stops it as soon as possible and praises my son for using his words and encourages him not to do so.

She also told me today that on Friday, the others picked my son up (a group of them) and despite him being seen to be crying and heard to say put me down, and adult wasn't quick before my son bit.

So I absolutely know that kids wind each other up, and everytime my son says X was mean to me, Y pushed me. My first question is always and what did you do or say before that happened.

But this time I have the confirmation from class teacher and witnesses in the playground that this time my son is responding to repeated behaviour he has made clear he doesn't like, that the class has been asked in a general sense to stop, and so this time I don't feel bad for viewing it simply through the lens of my son.

(Who I have repeatedly said in this thread can be an absolute bandit, who can be as selfish and annoying a four year old as they come!)

The school have been fab today and put things in place!

Couldn't be happier with them!