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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Classmate gifted my 5yo dd lip balm…

75 replies

PinkTigerLily · 27/02/2025 16:23

Dd (5) came home with a gift today. She said it was given to her by a boy (4 or 5 years old) in her class, who insisted it was his, and that she could have it forever. It was a peach-flavoured, colourless lip balm. It has been cold out recently, so I assume his mum gave it to him for helping chapped lips at school. It’s a chapstick but it doesn’t look medicinal… I don’t know. I don’t know this boy, never seen him or his mum at pickups or school events. This is the first mention of him and her ever interacting, too.

Anyway, I’m not sure what this means, or what I should do. I mean, it’s lip balm, something applied to the mouth, so I’m not sure if the boy’s mum would be happy if dd used it. Bit of a weird gift, right?

So, why is this boy giving dd “his” lip balm? Do I let her just accept the gift and use it (after giving it a clean ofc)? Do I keep it in her school bag in case he asks for it back? Do I stalk out him and his mum and ask? Has anything like this happened to you, and how did you handle it?

And thank you for reading this far. I have anxiety and it just peaked a little on a Thursday evening;) And if this boy’s mum somehow happens to see this - please seek me out if you want that lip balm back, or just want to talk.

OP posts:

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irregularegular · 27/02/2025 16:25

I think you are overthinking it.

If I knew who the mum was and saw her at school then I might tell her that her DS had given your DD the lip balm, in case she was wondering what had happened to it. But if not, I wouldn't do anything at all!

NuffSaidSam · 27/02/2025 16:26

Firstly, chill out.

Secondly, explain to DD that whilst it was a very generous gift, we don't share lip balms with other people. Ask her to give it back to him tomorrow.

Donotgogentle · 27/02/2025 16:27

Tell your dd to say thank you but not use it!

I think it’s sweet and an act of friendship from this boy.

fruitpastille · 27/02/2025 16:27

You don't need to do anything. Young children often give each other stuff. They will probably both have forgotten about it within 24 hours if you don't mention it. Let her use it if she wants to. You don't need to keep it in her bag. It's just a lipbalm - absolute worse case scenario, you can buy another to replace it if he or mum wants it back but I wouldn't bother mentioning it if they don't.

Moveoverdarlin · 27/02/2025 16:27

I’d stick in on the kitchen window sill, where it will sit for six weeks, then I would chuck it out. The end. None of the answers to your questions matter.

namechangeGOT · 27/02/2025 16:29

You are massively overthinking it! They're 4 & 5 years old! He's probably taken a bit of a shine to new friend and given her the only thing he had that he thought she might like! Don't do anything!

Glorybox2025 · 27/02/2025 16:29

They are 5. It doesn't mean anything and you don't have to do anything.

RIPVPROG · 27/02/2025 16:31

One of DS' friends gave him his watch! DS came home wearing it and said his friend didn't like it but he did so friend gave it to him! I made sure he gave it back the next day. Children like being kind and generous to their friends it's nothing to worry about

MrsFrumble · 27/02/2025 16:32

It sounds like a sweet gesture from a child who is too young to understand that sharing things you rub on your mouth is not a great idea. I expect your daughter might have seen him use it and been curious or said it smelled nice or something. I’d explain to your DD that it’s a kind gift, but it might be a bit germy if the boy has already used it, and that he might need it more than she does. Do you do any drop offs or pick ups? Maybe give it to the teacher to return.

If your daughter really wants to have it you could buy one for her to keep, and perhaps help her write a little thank you note for the boy.

Undethetree · 27/02/2025 16:46

Call 101

Undethetree · 27/02/2025 16:47

Seriously it doesn't mean anything, they are just kids swapping stuff. As pp said windowsill for 6 weeks then bin!

Badknitter · 27/02/2025 16:50

There are for sale in a pack of 3 for about £1 in home bargains, so it wouldn’t be expensive to replace if you threw it out and the little boy asked for it back later

Whoarethoseguys · 27/02/2025 16:52

It's the sort of thing small children do. They like to give each other gifts. It doesn't signify anything except at that moment he saw her as a friend.

twoforeight · 27/02/2025 16:53

Jesus Christ, how on earth do you get through daily life OP?

MyUmberSeal · 27/02/2025 16:54

My goodness you are over thinking this. I think it’s a rather sweet gift from a little boy to his friend.

twoforeight · 27/02/2025 16:56

And if this boy’s mum somehow happens to see this - please seek me out if you want that lip balm back, or just want to talk.

If she does see this ^^ she will probably block you and avoid you for the next year.

Ponderingwindow · 27/02/2025 16:58

Children that age will share small trinkets. It’s a bit jarring at first because you realize your child has this social life that is fully separate from you.

As long as it is just trinkets there really isn’t anything to worry about. I made sure not to throw anything out for a few weeks, even if it is clearly just junk and dc had already forgotten about it, just in case someone asked for something back.

MyFlightWasAwfulThanksForAsking · 27/02/2025 16:59

Just throw away the lip balm and get on with your day.

NC28 · 27/02/2025 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NC28 · 27/02/2025 17:02

twoforeight · 27/02/2025 16:56

And if this boy’s mum somehow happens to see this - please seek me out if you want that lip balm back, or just want to talk.

If she does see this ^^ she will probably block you and avoid you for the next year.

😂

After sending the link to the thread to every WhatsApp group she’s in.

ItGhoul · 27/02/2025 17:21

So, why is this boy giving dd “his” lip balm?

Because he's 5.

whatsappdoc · 27/02/2025 17:21

'Your ds very kindly gave dd a gift yesterday, in case you were wondering where it had got to'. Then you hand it over and both have a chuckle.

jellyfishperiwinkle · 27/02/2025 17:25

She probably said she liked the smell and he told her she can keep it.

Save this cute story for the wedding in 25 years time. No seriously, don't worry about it, but warn DD that he might decide he wants it back. I'd get her one myself if she likes the scent.

Weirdmum · 27/02/2025 17:25

It's lip balm...let her use it and keep it in her school bag.

Get help for your anxiety for your daughters sake.

offmynut · 27/02/2025 17:39

Chill out op your overreacting and over thinking this one.
They are kids still babies to be fair 5 is only 60 months i think all kids this age do this sort of thing.
Its lip balm not crack or a proposal for marriage.
Your making it in to something its not.
My sisters child at that age swapped socks with her friend push pops and many more things over the years.

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