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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Addmissions have now offered first choice school for reception, should I move my twins halfway through reception?

86 replies

PostiveThinkingRainbow · 04/02/2025 07:14

Hello,
Would really appreciate any advice please....!!!

We have twins boy/girl.

When choosing primary schools, we fell in love with our local catchment school.
The school is very popular, always full classes, very well kept, lots investment in technology, bright class rooms with lots of lovely work etc on the walls, very active parent involvement.
Nice location and easier drop off.

We were however, allocated our second choice school.
Second choice school does not have full classes, grounds are OK but not kept to the same standard, alot of the equipment etc looks abit well used.
However, the head teacher is AMAZING, knows all the kids by name and his passion to make the school great is obvious. The reception teacher has been great, along with the TA.
The school has worked out to be better than we expected, kids do seem to be learning, enjoyed trips and magical moments ceeated for them. Also alot of their preschool went too, so they have many friends.

However, our initial concerns of the area it is located remain. Despite their being many lovely families there are alot of undesirable. Mums talking with not suitable language, dropping their kids off then lighting a fag so I have to walk my kids past them doing so. At least 5 children in the class definitely reflect this in their behaviour in the classroom and take up alot of the teachers time. Drop off is nightmare as it's in the middle of an estate with barely any parking.

My dilemma...
Out of the blue had a call from addmissions today, advising a set of twins have relocated, leaving two spaces in our first choice school.
We have totally embraced the school we were given, it has turned out to be better than we thought, and the kids have created friendships. However, in the long term I feel the first choice school could offer them more and nicer families to group up around and be influenced by.
But it's a risk, will having to start again at a new school were they will no one be too much, they will also have to learn a different phonics program. Will they feel like they are always the new kids and not form friendships like the ones that they went preschool with.

I want them to have the best, but also don't want to upset them... what should I do???

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botanicalprint · 04/02/2025 07:17

Based on your description I would not move them. It sounds like a fantastic school where they are happy and learning well. A few parents that is disapproved of wouldn't make me change this situation. Move them at secondary.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 04/02/2025 07:19

They have only been in this school for just over a term; I’d move them. There are a lot of primary years ahead.

LoveSeptember · 04/02/2025 07:20

I would absolutely move them. I work in reception and friendships are fluid. Any behavioural problems in the current school could get worse further up the school and effect learning. Also easy drop off and local friends will make family life better.

TwentyTwentyFive · 04/02/2025 07:20

From what you've said I absolutely wouldn't move them. You seem to be assuming the grass is greener and that the other school doesn't have difficult children and parents that smoke or swear which is incredibly unlikely.

Your children are happy, learning, have friends and you like the school I would definitely keep them where they are.

Hercisback1 · 04/02/2025 07:21

Unless it makes your life significantly logistically easier, then no.

mummymummymummummum · 04/02/2025 07:22

I would ask to visit the catchment school again. Or even ask if your children can visit. Trust your gut!

Wasywasydoodah · 04/02/2025 07:25

I would probably move them. There are so many years ahead of you, and easier drop offs makes a difference. Your children will adapt - friendships change so much at this age. But i think there’s a good argument for both options - no ‘right or wrong’

YouCanLetItGo · 04/02/2025 07:25

Ask for your children to spend the day there?
Or visit yourself at drop off and pick up?

Chocoholicnightmare · 04/02/2025 07:26

I was in exactly the same situation for exactly the same reasons, plus all my local friends had their children in my first choice school. I moved my child in May of reception and never looked back. Your child will adapt quickly. All the issues you talk about with the current school will only become more apparent the higher your child moves up the school. Don't feel guilty for moving them- they will soon make friends at that age, I can assure you, especially with all the birthday parties. Good luck!

Wordless · 04/02/2025 07:28

Despite their being many lovely families there are alot of undesirable. Mums talking with not suitable language, dropping their kids off then lighting a fag so I have to walk my kids past them doing so.

The question is - do the undesirable read aloud to their children?

Lovelysummerdays · 04/02/2025 07:30

I think generally behaviour worsens as they go through the school. My dc have spent a lot of time in the corridor as children with challenging behaviour upend all the tables in the classroom as they got older.

Sassybooklover · 04/02/2025 07:30

Look further ahead.. will both schools lead to the same Junior and Secondary schools? At this point moving your twins won't be an issue, they're half way through Reception. Moving then when older may prove to be more difficult, as friendship groups will be far more established than now. Personally, if you feel the other school will be better long-term, then move them now.

Testingthetimes · 04/02/2025 07:31

I’d move them without hesitation
I wouldn’t keep them in my second choice out of fear they wouldn’t adapt in reception

stichguru · 04/02/2025 07:34

I wouldn't move them.
"However, the head teacher is AMAZING, knows all the kids by name and his passion to make the school great is obvious. The reception teacher has been great, along with the TA."
They are happy and settled in school. They are known and valued and cherished in that community. That positive is huge and you have only mentioned a few tiny negatives. My feeling is that while the negatives you've mentioned definately are negatives, they are very small negatives and they are frankly not guaranteed to be avoided at the new school.
"Mums talking with not suitable language, dropping their kids off then lighting a fag so I have to walk my kids past them doing so." The nicest school in the world could have a few mums that do this. Even a posh private school with high fees and only rich parents could have smokers.
"At least 5 children in the class definitely reflect this in their behaviour in the classroom and take up a lot of the teachers time." Well yes fine, but "nice" schools have to take "difficult" children too. You could go to the nicest school and there could be one child with difficult behaviour due to a disability who took up lots of the teachers' time.
I honestly think you'd be mad to disrupt a happy kid to try to get something that might make schooling a LITTLE better, which the move would totally not guarantee you got anyway.

Lilactimes · 04/02/2025 07:41

Hi @PostiveThinkingRainbow - if the school genuinely is better for you, then I would move them after this short time. Is there a way you can do another visit in the day with them? can they spend some time there? Is there a way you can go to the school at pick up or drop off time and see if it really is the school you wanted. If it is, then I would def move them x

Tarantella6 · 04/02/2025 07:47

If the logistics are easier I'd move them, especially if it is the difference between walking and driving.

Lucylongcat · 04/02/2025 07:48

I'd move them. Nothing is more powerful in a primary school than demanding parents with high expectations. I speak as someone who sent their children to a school on a council estate. I was very happy in reception and year 1, but issues began to arise later in the school. There was no opportunity for music lessons, or any club that wasn't football. Parents could walk in to after school clubs and take their children without being noted by staff at any point. Safeguarding was terrible, there was a hole in the fence students used to dare each other to wriggle through. Bullying was not addressed and my children were used as either spacers for poor behaviour, or unpaid TAs to children with complex SEN requirements.

Having a group of well educated, demanding parents prevents those things from happening to a certain extent, because it becomes more work for teachers to try to ignore issues than address them. This is not about me being snobby - I live on the estate. There is definitely a correlation between parental income, expectations and the willingness to put up with substandard education. It's why I welcome all the ex private school parents into the state education system. If they actually do exist, they won't be a drain, they'll be a force for raising standards.

delphinedupont · 04/02/2025 07:48

Do you know anyone at the new school considering it’s in your local area? How far away is the school they’re at now? Would it make mornings easier, help when they’re older and maybe walking to school on their own? Are they feeder schools for the same secondary schools or different ones? It’s only be a few months so I don’t think I’d worry too much about moving them if it’s the right thing to do. I would see if you can have a visit again, take a look round with the children to see what they think.

Smashandflab · 04/02/2025 07:53

Been in a really similar situation re schools - your situation could have been mine! We moved in the Spring of reception and never looked back.

I’d actually never stay for a headteacher. First school head went off sick around Christmas and never came back. New school also had a change of headteacher same school year.

cheezncrackers · 04/02/2025 07:54

Kids with behavioural problems in reception will only get worse as they get older IME. However, you could find that there are problem DC at the other school too. I'd ask to visit and see tho reception class that your DC will join before you commit. If you're happy after visiting then I would probably move them. You're only 1.5 terms into 21 terms of primary school and that is a loooong time! But just try to ensure that you're not going from the frying pan into the fire. There are problem kids at EVERY school.

flyinghen · 04/02/2025 07:59

I would move them for sure, can they spend the day/morning there to test it out?

modgepodge · 04/02/2025 08:08

Move them. Bad behaviour in reception will get worse. Moving schools in reception is no big deal. I’d imagine, with twins, 2 spaces coming up at the same time is not something which will happen very often so you may not get the opportunity to move them both at once again.

TickingAlongNicely · 04/02/2025 08:20

Re being the "new kids". The children don't see it that way. Initially its someone new to play with. Then they just don't remember they weren't there the whole time.

Porcuporpoise · 04/02/2025 08:26

I'd move them in a flash. So many benefits to being at your local catchment school, I'd move them even if the schools were the other way round (iyswim).

jeanne16 · 04/02/2025 08:35

Visit the new school at pickup time to get a feel for the children and parents. Difficult children and parents can totally destroy the learning environment.

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