6yo absconded from school - help?!

[KimberleyS91]

I'm looking to gain some understanding/perspective as obviously my anxiety is at an all time high right now and I'm exhausted from the last week.

Tuesday my 6yo managed to escape from school. It was a serious incident - he was missing for 30-40 minutes, walked home, met a stranger, walked back home again with the stranger, crossed multiple roads... so yeah, a LOT of risks and just pure luck nothing went wrong. The school didn't call the police when they realised he was missing.

Thankfully my son is safe and of course I am grateful for this. He is awaiting an ADHD assessment and this has all been added to his referral and they're looking at different strategies to help with his emotional regulation, etc.

Thing is, I can't understand why the perimeter of the school playground can't be secured. The gates have bolts but the main gates are open all day long. He literally walked up a set of steps and off out. No one saw him despite PSA's being "strategically placed". Access to the buildings is secure, but in theory, anyone could walk into the grounds.

I'm originally from England where I understand that primary school perimeters are secured/locked. Here in Scotland, that doesn't seem the norm? I've been told it's so the school doesn't seem "like a prison" and that there are kids and parents coming in and out at various times of the day, which makes complete sense... but based on this, how do schools that ARE locked manage?

It's been an awful week, so please be gentle with me! There have been countless meetings, conversations, emails... it's been genuinely quite traumatic but I just don't know where I go from here. Thank you.

Unfortunately you will need to impress upon him the dangers.
Point out you may not even be home etc.
Could you say he needs 1-2-1 in the playground.
My 12yo is awaiting asd/adhd assessment and im glad primary was locked. Everyone had to enter via the reception area.
I had to walk her to school till 11 as unsure she would go in etc.
And at preschool i did worry she would try to leave.
She did spend ages in toilet a few times.
Also would have though absconding more an asd thing.

It is up to children to stay in school the school is right they are not a prison

I'm in London. Gates are locked. You have to be buzzed through two sets of gates to get in. I'm amazed they aren't locked in Scotland.

We are bound by law to leave our children at school, and at 6 years old the school have a legal duty of care to keep them safe. If that had happened in the mothers care, a lot of questions would have been asked, the school failed here. And you cannot expect a 6 yr old with SEN to be able to regulate enough to understand the risks involved with his escape, his brain simply isn't developed enough. That's why we don't hold them criminally responsible until 10 and above, and that's why we are legally responsible for our children until 18.

Dear me.

Chill out Mama, all you did was drop him at school, and you would have been punished for not doing so. He is not the first and wont be the last to escape from school and you are absolutely right to question how it happened!! We have no choice but to send them, the very least they should do is put the measures in place to keep ALL children safe!

We moved to Scotland a couple of years ago. It blew my mind playground gates were left unlocked all day long. At our old school you had to buZ the school office and say why you were coming in, then they’d release the gate. At our current school a 5 yr old escaped during the day and crossed two roads on the way home. By sheer chance he met his dad coming back from work in the street they lived in.

My kids' primary schools in England are definitely locked. It's not like a prison at all. They just can't go off school site because gates are shut. Plenty of outdoor space within the site.

What are their procedures for stopping kids walking off? At infant age in particular I find it unbelievable that could happen (i.e. that they don't seem to have a policy of ensuring they don't leave? )

In London the school perimeter is secured and locked. When we visited Finland we were shocked to see there was no fence or gate in primary schools just nursery. Kids were free to come and go. When we asked people said it wasn’t a prison. I can see Scotland trying to follow this model. Not helpful for you. Unfortunately you need yo make your child understand that he must wait for you to come before he leaves.

The decision about whether to stay on the school premises (or not) should not lie with the 6yo child at all, though, regardless of whether they are aware of the dangers.

Sorry you've had a hard time, I know when they get to secondary age the gates don't tend to be locked.

Locking the gates isn't to make it a prison for the kids 🤦‍♀️ it's to keep (potentially dangerous) random strangers out.

OP I did the same thing as your 6 year old when I was that age! I was unhappy at school, and had bad separation anxiety. I was gone for over an hour before the headmaster tracked me down. The school never told my parents!

I am in England and the whole primary playground is high fenced with locked gates after drop off, they are opened for collection time only and manned by staff. There is a separate office entrance for anyone needing access during the day and included pupils. This door has a camera and a door phone and the person has to be buzzed in where the door unlocks. It allows access into a foyer but not into the school itself. There is a hatch that forgotten lunches etc can be passed through.

The "prison" reference is extreme, fencing is there to keep the children safe, classroom doors can be propped open in warmer weather which means to a degree it is safe. Anyone determined enough could I suppose climb the fence, it is like the fencing you find on industrial estates but green. And this is why they have lockdown procedures and drills.

I would want to see the risk assessment that they must have done for keeping children on school grounds especially following losing a child for that length of time.

Wow- also London with a locked school gate and buzz into reception model. I can't fathom the other kind. I wouldn't be worried about my kid leaving but in this day and age it feels like it leaves them very vulnerable to strangers or something along school shooting lines.

What a shock for you.
It's probably helpful for recognising this is an issue going forward. What are the school going to do to monitor him in future?
Even if the gates aren't locked, shut and bolted might have some visual deterrent.
Can the school offer a strategy to help your DS if he's feeling overwhelmed or wants to go home?

I did this when I was 6 but that was almost 40 years ago!!

If this happened now I would put a complaint into the school that they are not safeguarding your child and if they didn't handle it appropriate I would be contacting ofsted x

The child didn't abscond, they wandered out of school and walked towards home. I have no idea if that was their intent. The school should know where all the children are at all times, you can't expect a six year old to fully comprehend that they can't/shouldn't leave school alone. I don't think SEN or otherwise has anything to do with it. The school is entirely at fault, it just shouldn't be possible for them to let a six year old out on the streets alone.

I’d be reporting them to OFSTED (assuming it applies in Scotland). Did they even know he was missing for the whole time?
I find it staggering that they didn’t call you or the police. I’d be complaining right up to the governors and expecting it to be taken very seriously.

Ok, locked school gates are not a thing in Scotland and this isn't going to change.

However, that doesn't mean that a child should be able to abscond without anyone noticing for that length of time. The school need to tell you how they're going to keep your 6 year old safe on their premises and because gates aren't locked this is going to be harder for them, but it's not an excuse for a child to be AWOL for an hour.

When did it happen? Where should he have been? Break? Lunch?

Your child is now a known "flight risk" and they'll have to develop a strategy to deal with this. It might need to involve locked gates at break and lunch with a member of staff available to let people in if need be. Or not locking the gates and having someone on the gate at all times.

Wow this is crazy. I'm in NI in the country and our school has two locked front doors, all other doors open into the playground which is entirely fenced in, and the doors are locked from the inside so if outside you can't get in without someone buzzing you in, and the gates to the playground are secured during school hours. Nobody can just walk in and out. Visitors go to the front door and have to be buzzed in by the office. None of it seems remotely prison like, but it means that kids can only get outside to secure school grounds, not the carpark and main entrance.

I'd find it concerning that a 6 year old could just walk out of school.

My DDs school in England had a similar but not as severe incident... the school knew two 5yos had escaped immediately and brought them back (they dug a hole under a fence, so very prison escape!)

The school had to report itself for the safeguarding failure and take action to make sure it couldn't happen again.

What are the procedures in Scotland for safeguarding failures?

I really am shocked that the school gates aren't locked. I can clearly remember the reaction following the Dunblane massacre, and after that, I thought every primary school in the country made changes to their security and began locking their gates and security the perimeter. I've worked with many schools since then, and it would be a serious issue if you could just walk into any school now, and is something that Ofsted would take a very dim view of. It seems mad that the country in which Dunblane took place could not have learnt from this.

Wow! I’m genuinely amazed that schools aren’t locked in Scotland! So anyone could just walk in or out? How is that safe for anyone??

Presumably they are supposed to have robust procedures in place to stop this.

I'd be interested to know what they are supposed to be at this school!

Yes, doors into the school are also locked from the inside in Scotland and visitors have to enter via the office, but it's a different system so the gates imo are a red herring.

Scottish children are not routinely zooming around the local area unaccompanied in school time having left school unnoticed. This school has badly let this child down and need to deal with it.

You can't walk into any school. They're all locked from the inside. Yes, because of Dunblane.

Wow, I’m so sorry this happened to you. How incredibly traumatic. We’ve had kids with SEN in our school become very dysregulated and try to leave (one even trying to scale the fence 🤦🏻‍♀️) but no one’s ever managed it.

My kids were at school before the tall fences and locked gates. Children learned not to leave the school, there were plenty of children with additional needs and they didn't wander off either. It's essential children learn not to do things, schools have never been locked in Scotland and children absconding isn't a common issue