4year old after school meltdown!

[ahwhattodo]

Wow. Are these a "thing"?

4year olds first full week of school, the last two evenings have been horrendous, full on screaming and shouting. Picked up today and peered into the classroom, she was sat like an angel behaving impeccably, as soon as she came out to me it was like the lid off a shaken bottle of fizzy pop had come off!

I dread to think what everyone else thought. I was just trying to get her strapped in the car and get home but it proved very difficult. She's only just calmed down.
This isn't 'normal' behaviour for her, even if she's tired/hungry etc...

Is it normal for first few weeks at school?

Google constraint collapse. It can be normal but it can be a sign of SEN. Bring a snack and a drink. Make sure she get down time at home, earlier nights and keep weekends low pressure.

My dd has been like this , she has ASD and it was clear after day 1 she wasn’t going to cope well. Huge meltdowns. We immediately decided we will only do mornings for the first term

Very very normal! Happened with both of mine even though they had been doing full days in nursery before starting school.
I think it's just the stress of learning all the new rules at school and having to behave so they "let it all out" at home.
Let it go a bit for now and hopefully should pass by half term!

Thank you for the reply I'll take a look.
I'm certain it's tiredness, not SEN. Just came out of the blue! She's absolutely fine now , happy as larry

Yes! Just had I one...and at least 2 more since last Wednesday

Totally normal, and does settle down as they get used to it. Don’t plan any afterschool clubs for the first term - DS missed about 50% of his swimming lessons due to tantrums in the first term, until we moved them to a Saturday morning.

www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/z863cxs

Reassuring to hear everyone thanks. So pleased I'm not the only one!
She went to pre school 4 days a week and we never had anything like this. Must be the step up in intensity!

It's quite normal. Sometimes the tiredness doesn't kick in until a couple of weeks after starting school.

Don't worry, but be prepared. Might be on the line of sensory processing, partially autistic, etc.....it is not only you, the whole country has millions of mums gone through this

Came on here to say this.

Solidarity OP. It's tough managing little emotions. Keep life outside chilled, try and do things where they get your one on one attention (like snuggles and stories) and be aware it can be worse when approaching the end of a term, the start of a new term, worse at the end of the week than at the start etc. It's a ride!!

I'm a reception teacher and this is perfectly normal in the first week and first half term. Even if they are used to full time nursery a new school, new people and new expectations can be exhausting for even the most regulated children. They manage to hold it in at school then you get the meltdown be abuse you are their 'safe' space. Handing them a snack as soon as they come out of school can sometimes help.

My eldest was in preschool full time before she started school, but still the first two weeks of school she was totally exhausted and in tears which is nothing like her. Her brain was so tired she was totally overstimulated, overwhelmed and tired all in one. Once the first two weeks were done she was absolutely fine, but I have only let her try one after school activity now she’s in year 1 as I didn’t want to risk over tiring her again. It hasn’t been quite as bad this new school year I think it’s just the first that is the worst. I would definitely recommend a snack immediately after school and to keep after school activities minimal!

People are either autistic or NT.
They can't be partially autistic.

Exhaustion that lasts a few weeks into the term.
School seems to ask much more of kids than nursery / pre-school does.

Yes in my experience normal. I took my dd to the gps several times throughout the first year as I was sure she must have some underlying health condition to make her so tired and emotional but all was normal. We stopped all clubs and mainly watched tv/played in the evenings. She was fine by the middle of year 1!

Thanks everyone
I think I knew she would be tired but wow. It seems like she gets it out of her system then she seems to calm down.
She's just asked to go to bed now, wanted some water but by the time I took it up to her she was fast asleep!

Do you think its because she has to be good all day.

Did this kind of thing happen 20...30+ years ago? My mum doesn't think it did.

Just wondering, if it is a "modern" development what's the difference do you think?

When both of mine stated reception the teacher warned us that they may be completely exhausted and behave horrendously at home in the first few weeks!

Extremely normal OP don’t worry!! It’s so overwhelming these first few weeks, and they are constantly on their best behaviour and taking so much new information and routines in; that they just burst when they get out.

Ds7 has just finished the first week of year 2, and although it’s nothing like the full scale tantrums like after reception, he still is very exhausted, overwhelmed and just needs to be fed immediately! lol
He needs time to decompress and not talk (I was always so excited to see him and ask about his day and that was not what he needed immediately)
ds was never a ‘naughty’ child or really had tantrums (honestly!) but school is so exhausting.

I bring a drink and snack to pick him up, and when he gets home he takes off his uniform, straight into comfies and I let him watch 45 mins of tv on the sofa just to decompress. I sit near him or potter around and just leave him alone. Then after that i can ask him about his day and talk to him and he’s back to his normal self!

Offer a banana in case it’s hunger.

If not, straight home and ignore completely. No reaction. Just get on with your evening, especially if you have other kids.
It will pass. Very common.

Yeah my DD was horrendous last year for her preschool year. For some reason it took me half a year of horrid walks home (sometimes I even had to carry her whilst she kicked and screamed in a pure meltdown) before I realised taking the car for the journey home was very much needed! She was absolutely exhausted bless her.
I also take a snack which I give her in the car. It needs to be a fun snack so I have to swap them often for something exciting. Also as soon as we’re in the door, she gets fruit while I immediately start dinner!
She’s not been too bad so far for reception!

In my experience totally normal and to be expected really!!! We are going through the same at the moment with my daughter who started in reception this week. My eldest was the same, and still is at times even at 8!

It did not. I lived in a boarding school and we even did not have mums to play that sort of thing. There are millions of autistic kids in the UK for whatever reason in this century