4year old after school meltdown!

[ahwhattodo]

Wow. Are these a "thing"?

4year olds first full week of school, the last two evenings have been horrendous, full on screaming and shouting. Picked up today and peered into the classroom, she was sat like an angel behaving impeccably, as soon as she came out to me it was like the lid off a shaken bottle of fizzy pop had come off!

I dread to think what everyone else thought. I was just trying to get her strapped in the car and get home but it proved very difficult. She's only just calmed down.
This isn't 'normal' behaviour for her, even if she's tired/hungry etc...

Is it normal for first few weeks at school?

Very normal.

My dd was one of the oldest in her class, bright, NT, no problems at nursery but had toddler tantrums when she came home from school because she was so tired.

Apparently, I was the same. My little sister was excited for me to come back from school so that she could play with me but I was tired and I was hideous to her.

Ah bless her. Yes it's overwhelm and exhaustion. A treaty type snack after school will work wonders! I'd be plying her with a flapjack the minute I saw her.

Definitely sounds like restraint collapse. Lots of DD's friends are felling like this atm whilst they settle in. DD was 5 the day they started (oldest in year) and still suffered from this!

Try to keep after school light and airy, with no real demands. If they want to decompress, let them, e.g. watch tv, colour, play on their own or whatever. A school door snack also helps massively.

The thing that has REALLY surprised me was the after school hunger! Even after a huge breakfast, a decent lunch ans snacks, DD is still needing an extra snack plus a ton of food when she gets home (today has been a bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon, a handful of olives, a cereal bar, half a punnet of raspberries...and then a decent dinner). This seems to be common too!

I rang school when my eldest started as she was the same and I was concerned. Apparently it’s totally normal and a sign of feeling safe and secure at home. So least that’s reassuring. But I feel for you. Hope she settles soon. Ours turned into an actual gremlin but she’s back to being lovely again now 💕

Thanks again everyone. I'm really grateful for all the replies. Monday I shall be there armed with snacks!!

Take some head phones with a playlist of her favourite songs and put them on her as you walk to the car. It will distract her but also give her a chance to decompress in her own space. If you make the playlist up together and maybe she can choose the headphones then it may make the trip home something she looks forward to because she knows the pressure is off.

DD(17) was like that by about week 3 all those years ago! One night I put her to bed at 5:30pm as she was soooo exhausted.

This was after being at nursery 3 days/week 8:30-5:30pm since the age of 2.

Have snacks and water ready to hand over at pick-up. Don't bother arranging after school clubs for a term or two.

It will take them a month or two to get used to the sensory overload.

I say this as a parent who has come out the other side with a happy, busy, sociable daughter.

The 1st term is a big slog for many.

I agree… I don’t think it did to the extent we are seeing now. Having started school in the mid 80’s I remember there being a little mat for everyone so you could have a nap in the afternoon. Schools are very different now… there is no space for resting or decompressing! I also remember playing a lot! Now they do have some play but the expectations are higher in terms of what they are expected to learn.

By the way OP it is totally normal for the meltdowns. I have 2 children one NT and one who is diagnosed autistic. Both were an emotional and exhausted mess after school for a good term! My autistic daughter did get more tired more quickly though and so I would pick her up at 1pm for the first term.

Snacks, no clubs, no pressure and lots of cuddles!!
😊🌸

@ShoopShoopShoopShoop

No. I started teaching in the 1990s. It was not common at all. Most children had been to nursery but not as childcare so just 5 mornings or 5 afternoons. The first 6 weeks of Term 1 were half days and the P1s went home before lunch. Children didn't do many organised activities after school either. None of the schools I worked in had a breakfast club or after school club. Some children were collected by childminders.

Now most of my class are in school longer than me. They are in breakfast club before I arrive at 8am. They are in after school club after I leave at 5pm.

@Bubbean all noted! It has only been the past couple of days, beginning of the week was fine, she happily skipped out eager to tell me about her day, so it's definitely the end of the long first full week tiredness.

I was so focussed during the summer on the beginning of the school day , building up her excitement so she was happy to go in etc... I neglected to think about the end of the day 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

1000000% normal

ifs super tiring. Overwheling

they all did it

Yes, I remember doing just mornings and then there also used to be a January intake for the younger ones?

Maybe school (and life?) wasn't as "full on"? Not quite as expectations at 4? like you say there definitely used be nap time and not much going on after school,. just going home and playing and stuff.

I'm an 80's kid and my recollections of primary school is starting in January, drinking the small milk bottles of milk and playing in the 'home corner'!

I think probably not 20-30 years ago kids had half days for weeks to get used to school.

Where I am in Scotland, day 1 is 45 mins shorter than normal and many kids will be in wrap around care on day 2.
So by the end of the week they are knackered.

Someone else mentioned boarding schools - did people actually send 4 and 5 years olds to boarding school ?

Yes it did happen your mum has probably forgotten. My daughter started school in 1985. After 2 weeks she thought she'd done enough and didn't want to go any more. It was just tiredness and little did she know she had another 13 years of it 🤣.

I think probably not 20-30 years ago kids had half days for weeks to get used to school.
That wasn't universal and didn't happen at any school where I worked. However there was 3 term entry (September, January and Easter starters). I don't think that made any difference to tiredness.

In a supermarket at around 1pm today and heard and then saw a huge meltdown of a child in uniform who was probably newly in reception on half days. It wasn't pretty and I felt for the mum. You will not be alone @ahwhattodo

What / ridiculous thing to say ! Women were also seen as irresponsible and not adequate to inherit money. Of course it existed then it wasn’t a discovered condition. Brain scanning has opened up a whole new realm within brain pathology. Silly comment.

Normal. Bursting out after all day control.