Extremely boy heavy class

[NotJustAnotherMum]

My DD has just started reception in a small rural school. It’s split years so nursery/reception, Y1/Y2 etc. and I’ve realised that her class has 17 boys and only 3 girls (including my daughter). I’m worried my DD won’t get the variety of friendships and also concerned as the mum of one of the other little girls isn’t really forthcoming. I could just really do with someone else in my corner, as starting school is a big change all round. Has anyone got any experience of this and can tell me it’s going to be ok?

It was the same in the school we moved my son to, I think there were 17 boys and 5 girls. The girls were always falling out and there was lots of drama. This was older years of primary though he didn’t go there in earlier years.

Yes I’m hoping it will be more mixed when she goes up to Y1 🤞🏼

It was a September intake in the days when they were two. The January intake was more mixed and they were mixed up after that. They were a good year group all through school.

I would also have not liked it at primary school, I had a very female orientated life (only male was my dad) and I didn’t like boys

But then surely it will go back the year after?
personally I would find a new school now…..it’s worse that it’s an odd number as well…..what the the other 2 become besties ….I mean I know the teacher will encourage everyone to play together….but you know what it’s like …both my DD and now my GDs were joined at the hip with their besties from year 1 for a few years

Personally I would move her asap. I went to a tiny village school my year was a “big” year there were 7 girls so was just about ok.

My poor sister however only had 2 other girls in her year - one from a troubled background who basically psychologically tortured my lovely dsis with the other girl her lieutenant for the entire primary years. No other friendship options as escape though dsis was friends with the boys who were lovely but after a while they just play football together.

When I had kids myself we bought a house next to a large two sometimes 3 form entry primary. Village schools give me the creeps now.

Oh man thanks for adding to my anxiety 😂 I’m going to see how it plays out. I’m not about to uproot her the first week.

Currently I work between several small village schools. The one I was in this afternoon only has 16 children in the whole school! 5 of them are girls...

However in most of the small schools I go to even if there are not many of the same sex in one year group they tend to mix a lot and play with the children in the other years. E.g. the reception girls play with the Y1/2 girls all the time.

When I was a class teacher one of my toughest classes was the year I had a Y4 class with 23 girls and 7 boys. It was SO BITCHY! I was forever sorting out fallings-out between the girls who all vied to be friends with the Queen Bee. It was awful! I much prefer a boy-heavy class to a girl-heavy one.

We had similar with dd2, though not as extreme - 21 boys and 9 girls. Small rural primary with one form entry. A couple of girls left through the years, and a couple more joined mid-way. They all played together in reception but later on it became trickier socially. Our alternatives were even smaller schools and dd1 was already there, so we got on with it. However, although it's entirely possible that more girls will join as they all get older, at those numbers I would be concerned tbh. I'd say if you definitely want her to stay at that school, try to find hobbies etc for her that will give her the chance to make friends with other local girls. Dd2 made friends at her dance school from various other primaries which stood her in excellent stead going into secondary.

A lot depends on the characters of the kids involved, of course. Does your dd know/like the other girls or does she not know them well yet?

Another issue we had was behaviour management among the 21 boys became really difficult and the 9 girls, almost all v well behaved, were frankly ignored most of the time while the boys ran rings round the poor teacher and TA.

Do you mean 17 boys and 3 girls in just your DD's year or in total across the two years (reception and year 1)?

I went to a village school and in my year there were eight boys and just one other girl! The other girl was really not my cup of tea, very girly and prone to drama, hated schoolwork etc whereas I was quite reserved and academic and also a bit of a tomboy. I didn't start until I was 7 (lived abroad before that) and by that age some of the little boys in my class were already making quite mean comments about how much prettier 'Lily' was than me (I mean it was true 😆, but still hurt!).

As the classes obviously went up one year at a time we'd spend one year with the year above then the next with the year below, and most of my close friends were from those years. Two girls from the year below became my 'best' friends who I'd hang out with at breaks even when we weren't in the same class and I was very good friends with a girl and a couple of the boys from the year above too. I also became good friends with a couple of the boys in my year although they did tend to gravitate towards the other boys at breaktimes etc.

Overall I'd say it worked out fine! Especially as you say your DD is sociable. It's a lot more normal for different ages to mix in schools like this and she'll find her place! Also there are a lot of advantages to rural/village schools (or at least there were in mine - I wouldn't change it for the world!).

my ds2 best friend since day 1 is a girl. (they are 14 now) Shes a hundred times more rough and tumble than him. We stopped sleepovers when hit high school-unless we are go on jollys, in which case 3 of us share pod thing camping....(she has bros and sisters so easier i have her stay-plus helps make go anyplace "with mum" better... i think its only for this year?next term surely be a 2/3 mix,not necessarily the same class group?

I agree with you, see how it plays out and keep an eye on the situation but no need to do anything unless it actually becomes a problem.

There's a school in (I think) Stromness in Orkney which has only boys in their P1 class this year! 17 or 18 of them.

Not sure what you can do apart from bigging up the school to all the parents of girls you know and try to persuade them to move. And keep up her preschool friendships with extracurricular.

That’s part of my plan as I know some of her preschool friends are going to out of school club, so I’m going to get her booked on. Thanks for being a rational voice 👏🏼

I wouldn’t be thrilled about this for either of my children to be honest, boys or girls. Obviously no one’s fault but not what I’d be looking for.

We had this too at our primary—a mass exodus, and there was only 1 girl left.

DS was in a class of 21 boys and 9 girls in reception. By the end of year 2 it was pretty much 15 of each due to families moving in and out of the area.

This dynamic didn't work well for my dd but that owed more to the parents socially engineering friendships and oscracising anyone who didn't fit the mould. However, the year above had 3 girls in a boy heavy class and these girls were best pals throughout primary school. So, it can work.

I'm not a fan of small rural schools, for this reason. If i had my time again I would not have sent my dd to a small one form entry school. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, though.

I think for reception this will be ok. They are quite little and will all play together. I would keep an eye on the current y1 children and nursery children as her age group will be blended with them as she moves up through school. Are there more girls in those classes? If not then I would probably consider moving her as she moves up but it all depends on the friendships she builds. She might be happy! I taught a y3 class once with 21 boys and 7 girls. It was tricky for a couple of the girls who didn’t really fit in with the other 5. But they had friends in y4 that they played with on the playground so they weren’t too alone!

I taught a class of year 6 similar to this- around 17 boys and 5 girls. The 5 girls had constant friendship issues. The boys and girls by then had grown very separate and wouldn’t play together and with there only being 5 girls it became quite problematic. Hopefully, more girls move to the school or the mix is a bit more even next year.

It then makes it even harder to move up to a typical 10 class per entry high school….much harder for children to learn the skills needed to survive at high school if they’ve only ever mixed with 2 other girls in a class….

My daughter was 1of 3 girls in a mixed year class, no problems as the girls in the years above and below played with them. Funnily enough though they all went to different Secondary Schools and didn’t stay in touch after a few months as new friendships were built.

Good opportunity to develop some friendships with boys. My experience is that it’s a bit physical in the early years but the horrid bitchy years in upper primary will be less.

But far better to learn how to navigate the bitchness early on….otherwise will be a lamb to the slaughter in year 7

My dd had this in her primary school class. It seemed fine at first but I think it did affect her socially. The boys only invited other boys to their parties as they got older and she didn’t really fit in with the girls as much as she wanted to.