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Teacher visiting daughters nursery without telling us

86 replies

beehappy19 · 17/06/2024 17:10

My daughter attends a school nursery but unfortunately we didn’t get a school place for reception in September. When I picked my daughter up today the nursery told me that a teacher from her new school had been to visit her. I was a bit taken aback because I didn’t know anything about this visit and there was lots of other parents picking children up around me but is this normal not to be notified? And how does the school know where she attends nursery?
i think it’s nice the teacher visited her but I’ve not talked a lot to my daughter yet about moving school and I would have expected to be informed about a visit like this.

OP posts:
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BoleynMemories13 · 18/06/2024 00:18

NewName24 · 18/06/2024 00:03

Her new school will have known her current setting from your application, schools get this information from admissions.

They definitely don't in our LA, despite me trying to get this changed for about 12 years now.
It would make so much sense, and save schools so much time if there were a question on the form asking parents to say if their child is currently at a Nursery, and if so, which one.
Here, it is a jigsaw of Nurseries getting a list of schools, by asking the parents, then Nurseries trying to contact the schools, and schools phoning their regular feeder Nurseries, and hoping they don't miss too many, who might be coming in from elsewhere.
It is such a waste of everyone's time that could be put to better use.

That's ridiculous! What a complete waste of time for the nurseries and schools involved!

Our list from admissions includes 'feeder school' (ie current child care setting, so nursery, pre-school or childminder), if the parent has listed it on their form. OP asked why the school would even know which nursery her DD attended, so I assumed they had received similar information. Either that or her nursery would have contacted the school when OP informed them where she was going, if she lives in an LA like your one.

Either way, it's definitely not the guarded secret OP assumed it would be.

elliejjtiny · 18/06/2024 00:56

It's normal. Although ds1 didn't get a visit (his new teacher phoned the nursery) because his nursery was 30 minutes drive from the school. And ds3 didn't go to preschool so the teacher visited us at home.

Dyra · 18/06/2024 02:13

As part of the introduction package e-mailed to us by our school, we know that DD's teacher will have/is going to visit her nursery. I think it's just to talk to the keyworker though, not to meet DD. Though I wouldn't mind if she had. The teacher is also visiting us at home (today!) as part of the transition too. After this, there's an all parents meeting next month (so we can all meet each other I guess) and then a stay and play later in July, before the kids start in September. I'm hoping our local soft play will do what it did last year, and host sessions for each school for the kids to meet as well.

beehappy19 · 18/06/2024 03:09

I think a lot of people here are missing the point.. I’m not complaining about the visit. My post asked if it’s normal not to be informed about it first and clearly the answer is yes.

OP posts:
beehappy19 · 18/06/2024 03:17

@BoleynMemories13 who said I’m annoyed? I asked if it’s normal for them not to notify parents of a visit. If you read the post I said it’s a nice thing? I just thought as parents we’d get told but obviously not.

also who said I wasn’t telling her until September?
I think your comment is full of assumptions…

OP posts:
Feelsodrained · 18/06/2024 06:17

Given that there’s only about three weeks left of the term, when would you like the teacher to visit her? During her own holidays perhaps?

Flubadubba · 18/06/2024 06:44

Dyra · 18/06/2024 02:13

As part of the introduction package e-mailed to us by our school, we know that DD's teacher will have/is going to visit her nursery. I think it's just to talk to the keyworker though, not to meet DD. Though I wouldn't mind if she had. The teacher is also visiting us at home (today!) as part of the transition too. After this, there's an all parents meeting next month (so we can all meet each other I guess) and then a stay and play later in July, before the kids start in September. I'm hoping our local soft play will do what it did last year, and host sessions for each school for the kids to meet as well.

Iur local soft play does the same- it's great, isn't it?

BoleynMemories13 · 18/06/2024 06:53

beehappy19 · 18/06/2024 03:17

@BoleynMemories13 who said I’m annoyed? I asked if it’s normal for them not to notify parents of a visit. If you read the post I said it’s a nice thing? I just thought as parents we’d get told but obviously not.

also who said I wasn’t telling her until September?
I think your comment is full of assumptions…

Your original posts did seem to have an air of annoyance about them to me (the fact you posted it in the first place suggested to me you were a bit annoyed that you hadn't been told, to be honest). Apologies if that wasn't the case but tone is quite difficult to read in the written word. I wouldn't have thought I was the only one who thought you were annoyed after reading those opening posts.

You say you didn't intend to tell her until "after she breaks up for the summer". I appreciate now that that might mean the end of July, rather than September (children finish nurseries at different times, children at private nurseries may not finish until the end of August/early September. I read this very late last night so I apologise if I misinterpreted that part). Regardless of when she finishes though, I hope you now realise that waiting until then to start informing her and preparing her for school is far too late. She needs the proper closure when she leaves her nursery of knowing what is to come next. She needs to visit the new school in July to engage with their transition program.

I'm sorry you were unsighted by this development but, as you've since found out from these replies, it would be very unusual for the school to actually inform the parents directly about when they intend to visit their child at nursery. As I said, if anyone was to inform the parents, I'd assume it to be the nursery as they'd know about it in advance and could easily give a heads up "by the way, Miss from is coming to see tomorrow". I wouldn't automatically expect them to though.

Going forward, I hope you are able to involve your daughter in every aspect of the transition as possible. She deserves to understand what school is going to look like (ie a different building to her current nursery, with different children) to help her fully prepare and understand. Look on this surprise development as a real positive that she's now met her new teacher, which is the first step. Assuming you know their name, you can now start dropping it in to conversations with your child about school. Children are resilient. I see no reason why she can't enjoy a smooth transition and settle in quickly despite the school not being your first choice. Good luck.

NewName24 · 18/06/2024 21:14

I don't think you have anything to apologise for @BoleynMemories13 - that was the way the opening post was read by everyone, and we are 4 pages in now.

NewName24 · 18/06/2024 21:15

That's ridiculous! What a complete waste of time for the nurseries and schools involved!

Yup.
It's obvious to you, to me, to all school staff, to all Nursery staff, and, it would seem, everyone apart from the small number of people at the LA who have the power to actually change it.

(Wish I could do a face palm on here)

Ozanj · 18/06/2024 21:16

How normal this is depends on the area. So you probably need to check with local parents. It certainly isn’t normal where I live

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