Teacher visiting daughters nursery without telling us

[beehappy19]

My daughter attends a school nursery but unfortunately we didn’t get a school place for reception in September. When I picked my daughter up today the nursery told me that a teacher from her new school had been to visit her. I was a bit taken aback because I didn’t know anything about this visit and there was lots of other parents picking children up around me but is this normal not to be notified? And how does the school know where she attends nursery?
i think it’s nice the teacher visited her but I’ve not talked a lot to my daughter yet about moving school and I would have expected to be informed about a visit like this.

I'm teaching in a school nursery at the moment.

We are talking a lot about next year. Including talking with the children who are going to reception elsewhere about their new school. Just today I was talking to a little boy about how he won't wear a red jumper, he will wear a blue jumper at his school.

The nursery she’s at will be doing school readiness already (or should be!). DD will be aware school is imminent.

They surely only know where she goes to nursery as you told them? On a form at some point surely. Or, we’ve never used school nurseries, maybe the school you’re using found out from the council or something as she attends a school nursery.

Nursery visits are totally standard around here. And a good thing.

Totally standard and most schools do this. The nursery is normally on your application form that you will have completed

Visit at current setting
Home visit
6 weekly half days in school before summer

I work in a p1 class (reception equivalent in Scotland) and our school nursery has been doing school transitions with the dc since Easter so even if you haven't mentioned it to your dd, I'm fairly certain the nursery will have. Teacher visits are normal for those not going to the attached school. In our council area it's usually the head teacher who visits or a deputy. My youngest we t to a feeder nursery so it was only my eldest that had the teacher visit, which was 9 years ago but I don't think I knew when it was happening. It was included in all the transition info that it would happen though - maybe easy to miss! It's a very busy time of year for teachers so they'll go whenever they can get cover and when one of the many end of term activities aren't happening, which probably can't be easily scheduled in advance to inform parents of each child in settings outwith the school. Maybe a well timed nudge for you to start actually discussing this with your dc. They really need to know by now!

Our school have had an initial parents meeting (some children did attend but I really don't know why)

Because the parents didn't have childcare.

Wow. We get 2 one hour sessions, a home visit and a preschool visit.

Think the first week is a few small group sessions, though.

Are they not having a visit session to the school this term? Did you not talk to her about school when choosing the school?

Was it definitely her teacher, or the main schools teacher meeting the others who were moving up? Either way it's a good thing I guess, but if I was the school I would send a message to parents saying it was happening 'over the next few weeks' or something just for info.

Totally standard.
not really sure why you think you particularly needed to know in advance? We do find some children are better off with it being kept casual and no big build up! Teacher pops in, has a chat with key person, observes children and then says hello I’m X I’ll be your teacher in reception, ooh that’s a lovely picture etc etc. no big deal.
Nursery will have been preparing your DD for the school transition- I find it hard to believe she won’t know she is going to school?

To clarify she knows she’s going to school/ reception we just haven’t specifically discussed that she isn’t staying where she is yet. I was waiting until she finished for summer as it will be upsetting for her. Only 3 children didn’t get a place in reception and I’m not the only one who hasn’t discussed it with the child yet.

Oh that's really not a sensible decision is she not doing any transition days before the summer or meet the teacher visits?

I appreciate you don't want to upset her but you can't just keep something like that from her. Not least because presumably the nursery know shes not going to their school and will be working on her transition and discussing her school transition visits etc not knowing she's unaware she's going somewhere different. It's really not fair to not expect them to not mention it to her.

I think there's a very real chance she already knows.

Part of preparing children for the transition is talking about new classes / schools, and all the new friends they're going to make. Like another poster said, simple conversations like different uniform colours come up, and the nursery aren't going to lie or hide the fact your daughter is going to a different school.

The nursery will have a list of the children staying/ moving on to new schools and will be discussing this regularly with the children as part of their transition.

The Reception teachers will also be doing visits to get to know the upcoming nursery children and they'll have a 'meet the teacher' day towards the end of the term. As well as visiting children from outside nurseries.

So even if you haven't told her, the nursery will have. It's no big deal though, you still have ages to start discussing it.

DDs teacher did this and she was at a private nursery

Yes she does now. I was just keeping it quiet as we’ve appealed and also are top of the waiting list so there’s a little chance she may end up staying where she is (hopefully)
i thought I was doing a good thing trying not to confuse/upset her if I could help it but obviously that hasn’t worked

Why hadn't you told her already then

@ThunderQween I thought there was plenty of time for that.

Surely though you were planning on sending her to transition days in the summer term so would have had to tell her sooner rather than later?

Or were you not sending her in the hope she got a place at the school attached to the nursery?

Oh that would be so sad if she didn't know it was going to be her last day with her nursery friends, there's no chance to say goodbye.

DS went to a private nursery and the children went to different schools, his best friend at nursery was going to a different school so we made sure they had plenty of time and warning that they wouldn't be seeing each other every day at school. Luckily there were about 9 others from his Montessori going to the same infant school, and over half were out in the same class as DS.

The teacher also visited at nursery and at home and they had a visit to reception and a teddy bears picnic storytelling event in the school field for reception families over the summer, then an intro short day in own clothes two half days in uniform (a morning then an afternoon half the class at a time swapping so don't did an afternoon then a morning), then straight in.

Both my DD's went to private nursery and had visits from the reception teacher. You have to put on the school application form which nursery the child attends from memory.

Yes this is normal, same happened with both of mine, they don't inform you usually you're just told after the fact. It's nothing to be concerned about it's just what they do

With respect that isn't a great plan. The longer she knows the better a transition will go. Now she is likely to believe she is going with her friends. Children handle change well if informed, prepared and supported.----

We were told "there will be visits" but not when.

She will need to attend the transition events at her new school or else you are setting her up for a very hard time in September.

Put your sadness over her not getting a place at her current school to one side now as the reality is that she's going elsewhere.

You need to put in a positive face for your daughter and tell her how exciting it is that she will get to make new friends etc.
Children are very perceptive and she will pick up on your disappointment if you don't start to reframe this.