Page 3 | Would you let your Year 6 child go on a school holiday abroad wihtout you?

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flamingtoaster · 08/04/2008 10:38

I wouldn't have let my DD go at that age. However, if she hadn't gone I would have found adventure activities in the UK (lots of places have rock walls, do canoeing etc. - i.e. whatever was being done on the school holiday) and taken her to some of those while the school was away so that she could swop experiences when the class got back.

AbbeyA · 08/04/2008 10:39

It wouldn't be the same flamingtoaster!!!

SSSandy2 · 08/04/2008 10:40

I saw that Abbey, I understood that she wanted to go with her friends on the trip but that the activities offered are not the kind of thing she enjoys doing IFYSWIM

tootiredtothink · 08/04/2008 10:41

I know how you feel!! My dd is 9 so i haven't come to the week away yet. I feel sick just when she goes on a school day trip!! But when the time comes she will go - they go skiing in her year 6!!!!

So yes, IMO you should let her go. 3 adults from school is enough for that age group - remember they will have the extra adults at the adventure centre for the activities.

"within a school/social setting is quiet and willing to let the adults around her take charge" - even better as you know your dd will take instruction well and won't do anything silly that her peers may be doing.

And i am sure she will LOVE the adventure of it all. Please be careful about putting your own fears onto her otherwise she will grow to be too afraid to do anything. Just think how sad she will be as all her friends are going away for the week and your dd still has to go into school with the year 5's!! Not to mention how they will be talking about it for weeks afterwards.

Good luck! I do feel for you

AbbeyA · 08/04/2008 10:41

One of the whole points of these holidays is the bonding exercise. Having a similar experience to talk about then everyone has done something together would be almost as bad as having missed out completely!
I still look back with pleasure at the memories of trips that I went on with the school at that age.

AbbeyA · 08/04/2008 10:49

I got the impression SSSandy2 that she also wanted to do the activities but has never had the chance because lisalisa would be worried about them if done as a day activity from home. I could be wrong.

Loshad · 08/04/2008 11:45

I would, and have done from Y5, when they have done a weeks skiing without me, and 4 days in either France or Germany. With school, and with their friends they mostly have a great time, and if occasionally they miss mum/dad/home, then their friends are there to cheer them up and it's not a long time until they get back (and sometimes with a new appreciation for your cooking, and sometimes with a new taste for eg vegetable soups ). I always miss them dreadfully though, even now oldest is in Y9.

PrimulaVeris · 08/04/2008 12:35

Please let your DD go.

My DD did a similar trip (pgl centre in UK) in Y6 and it was one of the best experiences she's ever had. She had a thing about heights but can now abseil with supreme confidence! All primary schools here do it in Y5 or Y6, and most secondaries also do an activity weekend in the first term as a bonding exercise. Not going could create longer term issues and fears of the unknown - and in secondary she'll have a lot of unknowns to deal with, like it or not.

Check out the company's website, but these places really do take safety very seriously.

I was a bubble-wrapped child and though at the time I thought "phew, I dont have to do that" in later years it really did nothing for confidence or self-esteem.

Original poster

lisalisa · 08/04/2008 12:59

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lisalisa · 08/04/2008 13:05

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Bridie3 · 08/04/2008 13:08

My Year 6 son went on a football trip to Holland a month or so ago. It was about a week long and he had a great time. The teachers are very experienced at this kind of thing and, in my experience, work hard to make sure the children have a fantastic (and safe) time.

Bridie3 · 08/04/2008 13:08

My Year 6 son went on a football trip to Holland a month or so ago. It was about a week long and he had a great time. The teachers are very experienced at this kind of thing and, in my experience, work hard to make sure the children have a fantastic (and safe) time.

marina · 08/04/2008 13:08

This must be her Leavers' Trip?
It's the last time she will have the opportunity to spend time with children she might have known since she was five.
Like Soapbox I'd be bricking it but would still let my child go, without him knowing of my nerves.
I do understand how you feel, and with specific regard to the being able to swim 50 metres rule, I think you are within your rights to pin the Head down on this issue and get a written undertaking that your dd will not be forced into the water for these activities. As others have suggested, you might want to get some advice/back-up from the specialist instructors at the activity centre.
I would also get some medical advice with regards to assisting your dd with barotrauma on the plane, and also an appropriate travel sickness rememdy. My dd is four and already knows to take one before any car and coach trips.
I hope your dd has a lovely time

PrimulaVeris · 08/04/2008 13:09

Good luck lisalisa

Whitewater rafting - I did that with my dc's for very first time last summer. River swollen after freak storm and I was terrified. I am a weak swimmer. Most rafting tends to be class 1 to class 2, taking children from aged 6 up.

And it was one of most wonderful things I've ever done. It LOOKS as though you can come off easily, but you can't. As the instructor said "those who pay attention usually stay in. The ones who take risks fall out". You should have lifejacket and poss helmet. If fall out, swimming ability no help - chances are you're scooped up immediately and if not, you lay in water feet first until scooped. It really is a lot, lot safer than it looks and is a very well managed sport.

Worst thing about the experience was an hour of wet knickers!

dramaqueen · 08/04/2008 13:17

I do agre with you when you say that there are plenty of places in the UK they could go. The Yr6s in my dc's school go to the Isle of Wight. That's far enough for me!

AbbeyA · 08/04/2008 13:24

I would check out the website of the company lisalisa and see how the day is organised. The photos are bound to be the most exciting ones and are not necessarily as they look. I am sure that there will be alternatives for non/weak swimmers. They can't go straight out into rapids in a canoe (you might find that those photos come from a party that have done just canoeing). Before you go to the school meeting write down all your questions so that you don't forget anything.
With the bike riding perhaps you could try it in secret-my youngest DS just couldn't do it and he got really bad tempered-the last straw being the boy across the road doing it when he was 3 years younger! He finally mastered it the week of his 7th birthday whereas his older brother was riding a 2 wheeler before he was 4yrs. They are all so different.
I would be a bit apprehensive at that age with it being so far away but it will be a big confidence booster.
My youngest DS got back from a trip yesterday (I am doing all the washing today!)and one of the best parts is the comaraderie, he went with some friends but also some from the year above that he didn't know at all, and you can tell from the photos that they all got on well.Flamingtoaster's DC is missing a lot to do the same thing, apart from her friends and under her mother's control.
It is sensible to start letting go gradually, in 7 years time she may well set off on a gap year.

tootiredtothink · 08/04/2008 13:37

Have you been to the docs for travel sickness advice? My dd also has problems with her ears when we fly (my sister lives abroad so we fly at least 3 times a year) and i find calpol helps 20 mins before takeoff. That and sucking a lollipop!! School should have no problem giving any meds as long as its on prescription.

mimsum · 08/04/2008 15:19

ds is Y6 and did something similar in September in Italy - they all had a whale of a time

fwiw their trip had mountain biking included but it was all done at the level the child was at - there were a couple of kids who couldn't ride a bike so obviously they didn't go on the black trails with the uber-confident ones (they actually just tried to learn to ride a bike in a nice, safe playground)

I think you need to relax about it - especially as your dd wants to go - and try not to transfer your worries onto her

mrz · 08/04/2008 18:30

Really depends on the child I've led trips with Y6 children and most are fine and have a great adventure without mum.

flamingtoaster · 08/04/2008 19:32

AbbeyA - I wasn't suggesting it was the same thing. If a child has to miss a trip, for whatever reason, there is no reason why it should miss trying adventure activities. Yes doing it with the class is an important part of the trip - but it is better for any child to be able to test themselves on high obstacle courses or whatever than not to. It also avoids the child having conversations taking place about activities of which they have no experience at all, and perhaps being teased because it is assumed they were too afraid to go to try the activities. The situation didn't arise at my DD's school but at that age it would not have been the right thing for her - I was simply stating what I would have done in that situation. When the situation did arise she was luckily ready, threw herself into international camps, etc. and gained a lot of confidence from it.

AbbeyA · 08/04/2008 20:39

Sorry flamingtoaster-I misunderstood-I thought that you were saying not to send her but to do the activities from home. I would agree that it is better to do that if you miss it, but not as an alternative. Some DCs just wouldn't be ready for a trip like that and IMO it is better to wait until they are ready. I think you have to be guided by the DC but they shouldn't be held back by the parent's fears.

flamingtoaster · 08/04/2008 21:06

AbbeyA - no problem. I agree - in all these kinds of situations it depends on whether the DC is ready, not whether the Mum is.

AbbeyA · 08/04/2008 21:16

I agree flamingtoaster. I have 3 DSs, the eldest and youngest were always able to go anywhere, do anything but the middle one was always a homebird! I had to collect him from cub camps etc and was very worried when he went away in YR 6 but he managed it! We never made him feel that he had failed and he gained in confidence and is fine now.Equally I haven't held them back if they have wanted to do things-my eldest now climbs frozen waterfalls, among other things, and I would rather not know-until I see him afterwards!

SueW · 08/04/2008 23:39

Re car sickness - have you ever tried sitting her on a piece of newspaper?

One of the teachers at DD's school swears by this and, having been on a couple of school trips where no-one's thrown up and even the 'I'm always sick' kids don't claim to be, I have to say I'm becoming warmer to the idea. He wanders up and down the bus handing out sheets of the free local paper.

Maybe it's just placebo effect.....

willali · 13/04/2008 21:43

Absolutely you should let her go. Tap into the rational side of your brain and think of the many hundreds of thousands of kids who go on holidays like this against the VERY FEW accidents that happen. I know it's a cliche but there is more risk in her popping to the corner shop. Just think how left out she will feel when all her chums come back full of stories about how fantastic the holiday was. Just think of all the life skills she will have missed out on learning. She is going to senior school next year - she has to GROW UP and the only way she can do this is by facing challenges and feeling the satisfaction of overcoming fears. The centre she is going to will not offer inappropriate activities for children of her age neither will it be understaffed. Schools are required to do full assessments etc and no one wants to be sued or lose their jobs. As for you, of course you are worried - my son (Yesr 5) just spent a week ski-ing in France, I was concerned about all sorts of things - safety, whether he would eat properly, whether he would wash (!) but he had the absolute time of his life and I am so glad we gave him that opportunity. DOn't underestimate your daughter - and don't deny her a fantastic opportunity. Good Luck!