Would you let your Year 6 child go on a school holiday abroad wihtout you?

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

nope, too many risks, too many tales. We even know someone whose brother was one of the headlines a few years back . A drowning.

lisa, ds has not had lessons since he was four. the only thing he can do is actually stay afloat in the pool, and perhaps swim a short distance. but he managed all the pool activites, the canoeing etc.
if you are not comfortable with her going, then dont send her. theres no sense in being so stressed. however, from my experience, it isnt as bad as you seem to be worrying it will be. and most children come out of it maturer than they went. it really is a character strenthening excercise
do what you are comfortable with

Has your DD ever had the opportunity to do these type of activites herself - or have YOU always said 'NO I dont think she can do it '

It may be the making of her. As someone said the school will have to do a risk assessment on it all and it is quite commong for Yr6 children ( in this area) to go abroad for a week. Howvere at my Ds school they build up to it from Yr3 - two nights away , then Yr4 - three nights etc etc.

I would look into it a bit more before you right it off .

With other children around doing all the stuff a bit of peer pressure can do wonders for a child confidence . I am sure that if she didn't want to do an activity then they wouldn't make her do it .

In the meantime you could help her confidence by getting her to ride a bike , take her swimming more . Dont show your concerns encorage her !

Based on what you have told us about your DD character I think she would benefit hugely from the experience.
Firstly she is desperate to go, you are the one who doesn't want her to go. She is unconfident and introverted and yet bossy at home and popular at school and it will help her confidence no end to achieve some physical challenges. She lets adults take charge which means that if faced with a difficult challenge she will take instruction.
It often looks more frighteneing than it is. For example I sit under rock climbs watching my DSs and it looks horrible but in actual fact they are roped up and securely anchored. Your DD will not be leading climbs, if she comes away from the rock face she will be held by the rope and can be lowered if the going gets too tough. The leaders will not take a party of 10/11 year old into the mountains with avalanche risks!
She would have just as much chance of injury with a 2/3 trip to Disneyland Paris.
I think that you are getting the trip out of all proportion! The centre is a money making business, they can't afford to take unnecessary risks or they would be closed down!

I took a year 7 group on one of these sort of trips. We did come back with a broken foot, but the boy broke it stepping off a kerb. We had no risk assessments for kerbs. We had them coming out of our ears for everything else.

My parents "sent" me to a 2 week tennis course in the mountains when I was 11 (or 12, I can't remember, it was aaaaaaaaaages ago).
The first few days I was quite homesick, but I can say that - apart from the playing tennis thingy - it was a success.
I'd probably send her

I'd let her go, on balance...

I can understand your concerns especially if you feel the school has a cavalier attitude, so you need to contact the centre direct and talk over your worries.

Here in the UK, do you ever take your dd on day trips to places that offer things like mountain biking courses, go carts, older children's adventure playgrounds with large rope swings, etc?

There are lots of places - children's farms for instance - that offer some attractions for active, older children. Could you go to a local one your dd can have a go and you can help her?

My oldest son went on a similar trip in year 6 and loved it, as did all the boys and girls in his class. I do know that some other parents had reservations, so I realise it's quite common.

I think one really important thing to stress to your dd is that she must listen to instructions and follow them immediately. This is so important for her safety. Is she good at this?

On your OP you say that all the other DCs are going. If the whole class are going it will be very sad for her to be the only one left in school, especially when she is desperate to go. Why not take her to the swimming pool at least once a week, starting from now, to strengthen her stroke and increase her distance? Borrow a bike and make sure that she can ride it. Tigermoth has good suggestions for trying things out.
If you really can't go through with it you should give the opportunity of going to somewhere like CenterParcs with you where she can have taster sessions of climbing, sailing etc.
My next door neighbour is in her 40's and regrets that her parent's attitude left her afraid to try things! She was a much loved only child who had health problems in early life so they were very over protective. She can't ride a bike; they thought she might fall off! She has forced herself to let her DCs try things.

I would definitely let her go if she was keen. In fact, if she wasn't keen I would strongly encourage her to go anyway, tho' obviuosly wouldn't insist if she was hysterically against it.

My dc have been going here for week-long unaccompanied holidays since they were 8, and have had the most amazing time they talk about it all year. Last year some friends of ours decided to send their dd too after hearing us talk about it she had just turned 8 and is very unconfident, shy, dyspraxic and generally awkward, so a lot a of soul-searching went into the decision. She had the most amazing time and really blossomed -- her parents were stunned by the difference in her when they picked her up, and she's going back by herself this summer.

If your dd is keen, do trust her judgement and encourage her to push her own boundaries -- if you prevent her, you're effectively telling her you don't trust her to challenge herself and cope, which is a very undermining message to give, imo.

Please don't take this the wrong way, btw!

I have to say, I was an only child with an very protective mother. I could not ride a bike till my early teens - my mum wouldn't let me. She never let me go on school trips, but we didn't have these sorts of whole class trips to adventure centres then. However she did take me swimming lots and to the beach and playgrounds. I also went to dance and drama classes. I don't remember being physically unconfident, though I was very shy (the main reason I did not want to go on school trips).

I have always been quite active and easily learned to ride a bike when I wanted to.

I do think if your dd wants to go, and all her friends are going, you should let her.

lisalisa - the infrastructure for children's holiday camps in France is extensive, well-maintained and subject to very high standards of health and safety. France has a long tradition of sending children to camp - much, much longer than the UK - and they know their stuff here .

We have sent our stepsons to camps in France with no qualms whatsoever at a much younger age than your DD - and they are both sheltered, urban sorts .

Please don't worry and let your DD go if she wants to. Class trips are a wonderful, secure way of making the first steps away from parents.

Let her go.

Like roisin's DSs, my DD has done an adventure day in the lakes - rock climbing, abseiling, canoeing including jumping off the quay into deep water - aaaargh! - and a PGL trip (alone, not with school friends). She's starting to walk home from school now too altho I tend to meet her on the way because she is the only child who walks this way.

It's difficult to let go but when I see her return from these things, or even when she gets to our road before I meet her, she's about 4 inches taller and looks confident and 'free'. And I feel quite embarrassed that maybe I'm not giving her enough chance to grow, iyswim.

DS1 will be going to Cyprus next May with his class (he'll be in Yr6), so yes, I will be letting him go abroad without me.

I can understand your fears, but I do think you're being over protective here. The only way your DD is going to find out if she can do any of these things is to try, and you can't do that for her. If you're the only one who has concerns about the Head and safety, do you not think that maybe your projecting your own insecurites and fears onto her behaviour. Not being as cautious or fearful isn't necessarily being cavalier.

You said in the OP that the Head wouldn't take stupid risks just that she is slightly cavalier about general safety. They will have lengthy risk assessment forms to fill in, as will the centre.

lisa, I really don't know. It doesn't sound like the kind of camp your dd would enjoy and I understand your fears. You still have a bit of time before she would leave, can you prepare her for it a bit - regular swimming, teach her to ride a mountain bike etc., let her stay the weekend at a friend's place now and again, that kind of thing?

They won't be allowed to be cavalier about safety. Really.

DD will go on a 4 day trip to France when she is in Year 5 and Year 6, if things stay as they are at the school (which they are likely too). I know I willbe nervous and anxious, but she will be allowed to go.

I went on an Adnventure week like the one described in the OP. I was 12 I think and it was great fun. Although the adult ratio sounds low, I assume that each activity will also have other supervisors fromt he Adventure centre too.

I would be anxious but would let her go - and no doubt get no sleep for the whole time she was away!

1 adult to 10 children is the legal ratio in France for that age group.

Oh yes meant to add that along with the staff from dd's school, there were also staff exceeding the reccomended amount for each group at the resort.

I haven't read all of this but maybe a start would be to get her riding a bike. This should boost her confidence no end and she should be able to do it at her age, all dc's are different of course but my 3yo can and loves the independence it goves her. Gradually build up her skills reagrdless of whether she goes on the trip or not - she'll soon be off to secondary school, bigger environment and lots of new faces and be able to cope much better if she is learning new skills and reaping the benefits in terms of confidence that that brings.
I used to be an outdoor pursuits instructor and can assure you that ratios for trips and safety procedures are rigorous. I spent 5 years instructing and there was never any incident that involved a trip to hospital due to any of the activities where I worked. Having said that, accidents can happen and they happen also in the home, crossing the road, in the garden. It is about taking a measured approach to risk and accepting that some is necessary to create conditions where dd becomes able to develop judgment and a willingness and ability to tackle life's challenges.
Soorry if this has rambled on a bit, am multi tasking atm with dd's & electrician and lots of stuff going on.
Please let her go. Talk to the Head, contact the provider for assurances if you need to.
One final thought...someone told me that as a parent the greatest thing we can do for our children is to give them roots and wings

you have to let her go. I agree with soapbox that you're setting her up to have a can't do attitude if you prevent it based on your unfounded fears.

year 6 at our school do a trip to the isle of white every year and it is considered a Everyone goes, and it is said that it is on these trips that children really get to know each other and bond.

If your dd is the only one not allowed to go then she will miss out on this.

I was assuming from the cavalier attitude to safety that OP meant that she wasn't too bothered about bumped heads in the playground and scraped knees etc, I didn't mean that she would have that sort of attitude about the holiday! The risk assessment will start off with having an adult to help them up the steps of the coach and will be very rigorous.
In reply to SSSandy2 who doesn't think the DD in question will like it-it says in the OP that she is desperate to go-it is her mother that doesn't want her to go.

I would have been mortified if my parents had prevented me from going on trips like that when I was a child.

Sorry Abbey. I was just reposnding to the OP. I am an old hand at school trip risk assessments