Are some children just 'readers' and others not?

[Mumof3onetwothree]

I hear parents saying things like 'my son isn't a reader' as though it's a sort of personality trait and you cant do much about it. I loved reading as a child. I find these comments a bit frustrating and to me it feels as though they giving up on the child and they'll miss out. Is this true....are some children not readers? Or is it that they find reading hard and avoid it?
Maybe I'm just biased because I found reading easy and enjoyable.

I do think some children just aren't interested in reading for pleasure, but I expect that number is increasing these days because there are so many more options for entertainment available. When I was a child books were the only way to entertain myself when we were travelling, waiting in waiting rooms (which is where I discovered Reader's Digest), visiting relatives, going to church etc. so I read to entertain myself and discovered through that how much I love reading but nowadays kids have tablets/phones/switch etc. for entertainment in boring situations.

DD was late to learn to read in English (8 or 9 years old) but was driven by her desire to read the dialogue when playing Zelda, and from that she learnt to enjoy reading but is very very particular about what she reads - she'll rather go weeks without reading anything than read something that doesn't excite her (unlike me, who would read everything I could lay my hands on, no matter how dull) and she won't give books a go if she's unsure about them, so many books I've bought her have languished in her bookcase, unread.

DS on the other hand reads whatever he sees, if he can read it (he's learnt much earlier than DD but long words and small print are too difficult for him still at 6) and likes to read to himself at bedtime but is also screen obsessed and will always choose screens over books if I let him.

That’s a very good point. DD loves painting & crafting & is good at them whereas it doesn’t interest me

I have one who found learning to read easy. He still reads every day and loves talking about books. The other loves music. He listens to music at every possible moment. He needs it to feel comfortable in the world. I was brought up with lots of books and music so I love, and see the value in both.

Smug parent alert ⚠️.

i love reading, work in children’s publishing and read to DS loads as a younger child. Loads of books, bedtime stories etc. he has always been a good reader, sort of enjoys it but doesn’t really choose to read right now (age 12). I hope he will go back to it when he’s older and that at least he’s had a foundation of reading. I definitely think reading lots at home helped his reading skills and overall academic development. Dd(3) will pick up and “read” (flip through telling herself the story from memory!) books which ds never did, it was always being read to so it’ll be interesting to see if she becomes more of a reader.

I have always been an avid reader. My dc all learned to read easily but none of them are readers despite all my efforts to indoctrinate them. Now adults, only dd reads for pleasure. I'm working on grandson.

I'd agree with this. There is a smugness on how people's kids read. "My kids a reader because I read to them and took then to the library"
Jolly good for you.

You can read to kids as much as you want, take them to libraries etc etc but you can't make them love reading. Trust me my DMum tried. I'd pick booked take them home, but never actually read them.

People absorb information in different ways. Some auditory some kinetically.

So someone who is a kinetic learner is likely to not be as much a natural reader as someone who learns through auditory means.

I love reading and always have, as have most of my family. My husband has read a couple of books I forced him to read and he enjoyed but he would never read for pleasure. We have read to both our boys and my 11 year old will still let me read to him sometimes. They are excellent readers especially my youngest but just don't find pleasure in reading. I don't think it's something you can force. They just are or aren't.

Both DH and I are serious readers. One of our DC was a reader, the other definitely not. The only books she ever read were the set texts for GCSE. There was a massive difference between the two DC.

I was a massive reader as a kid and even now. I'm in two books clubs. My 6yo is a very able reader, he was almost self taught it was that easy. He was reading before reception and his reading age is several years ahead now. My 9yo however finds reading hard. She has never voluntarily read a book. She's highly likely to be dyslexic and also has an issue with eye team work. So I'm team nature not nurture.

I always find people really judgy on this topic. Like it is some weird badge of super duper parenting.

I did all the things you are meant to, read so many books to him every night, encouraged reading through many different forms and different books. I realise now he is 11 that he just doesn't enjoy reading!

And yet, people still infer it is a parenting fail of mine that he doesn't!

I was an avid reader. I was quite taken aback when it turned out my DD really wasn't. She didn't read fluently till the start of yr 3, not keen on reading for pleasure (with a few exceptions - she was at an age where the new Harry Potters were published at age appropriate points) but she very much enjoyed being read to.
Her actual ability to read and comprehension was fine ...the primary school did a 'reading challenge' which was all about quantity, that was massively demotivating. But then there was a competition which was based on reading three or four specific books. She won that because she read them, and understood and retained the information, much to the English teachers annoyance.

Fast forward, she's the only one of her cohort who went to Cambridge. She's now a engineer - a doer, a creator of new things not just a consumer.

Yes. My son was an avid reader as a child. My daughter is dyslexic and it is painful for her. She loves stories so we used audio books

I totally agree, the snobbery some people show around reading is really weird! I love to read and own hundreds of books, but I don’t think reading is inherently ‘better’ than any other hobby.

Mad love of books in this house but it's fleeting for my DDs. My DD loves nonfiction (age9) but I think school really diminishes a love of books. Any school-focused reading for my DD6 she finds excruciating- and it is. Both took well to reading as a key skill though.

I can sit and read to them for hours and they love it! I need to make more time for that. When I do, they engage independently with reading more.

My DH wasn't read to as a child so loves audiobooks- a perfect alternative to books. There are myriad ways to spend downtime for our kids. And, maybe, just maybe if the government spent less time focusing on a reading curriculum which is dull and overly evaluative on meaning and comprehension there may be more who get joy from reading.

Providing the opportunity to read is as much as most parents can do. My kids had loads of books, and did read them.

I have a relative who is a teacher, and one of the saddest things they ever told me was an occasion when children were asked to bring their favourite book into school (probably for World Book Day? can't remember). Anyway these two little boys came in with one shared book, and said it was the only one they had.

I've never been a reader. I'm now 40 and might read 2 books a year. I say to DH (a prolific reader) "Can you believe I finished that book?!"
I've always been a TV addict instead - mum used to call me square eyes.
I did really well academically - straight A student and a 2:1 degree from a Russell Group University and now have a high paying job - so it's not done me the slightest bit of harm.

I was a bookworm as a child, now as an adult I never read a book. My dad never read a book as an adult until he retired and now always has a book in his hand, reads about three a week. My sister never read for pleasure as a child but chose English lit A level and reads all the time as an adult. The conclusion I’ve come to based on my family is that enjoyment from books is transient!

My dc are 19 and 24 now. Dc1 finished the school reading scheme by 6 and had read the Harry Potter series with full understanding- yet doesn't pick up a book now. Dc2 has always hated reading. Our home has always been full of books, yet he finds reading boring (how??!!!) didn't stop him getting an A in English Lit though lol. So 2 children brought up the same yet one was a bookworm like me and the other followed their dad who also hates reading.

In the long term, no. But the emphasis on age based classrooms where the material gets more complex based on age rather than attainment doesn’t help.

There are different paths to reading - one of mine went from complete mystification to it all clicking around 6, and just read voraciously from that point on.

The other was highly engaged at every stage of phonics, sounded out, sight read but just didn’t quite fly and got so demoralised by the heavy handed emphasis on reading in primary. Just took longer to get there and only got going at 12.

DH also acquired the identity of a non reader in his school years but living with a book worm has worn him down, and he reads every night now.

Reading - vision problems and dyslexia but doing well technically my child doesn't enjoy it

Audiobooks - absolutely loves the stories and they have an amazing imagination and come up with loads themselves.

Some kids are bookworms some aren't. How much of that is environmental, jf they're never read to and don't get exposed to books they're not going to favour it?

I don't believe you can. It's a nature rather than a nurture thing. Ds1 is, ds2 isn't. Both given the same opportunities and encouraged. You can't make a child like something.

Absolutely! Any books you can recommend? We are going through a beautiful Shakespeare collection at present. Defo a nice gift if DCs are too old - A Stage Full of Shakespeare Stories. My eldest is really starting to follow the mad stories.

So sad to hear they only had one book between them. It's so eye opening to how many parents don't value it as a skill. But if you weren't read to when young, you wouldn't think to be a reader with your own children, I suppose.

Some children love reading, some don't. In the same way some love sports and some don't.
Those that do more of it, often will find it comes easier to them as they practice.
Typically those who find it harder may well not want to do as much, which becomes a vicious cycle.
True of almost all things.

But sometimes it's a case of working round and finding what they like.
I'm the slowest runner ever, and don't enjoy it. I love (and am quite good) at tennis. If I hadn't started playing tennis aged 8yo then I'd have just assumed I didn't like sports and wasn't very good.

In the same way my son didn't enjoy the books my girls loved with talking animals and fairies. But when he found factual books on subjects he liked he suddenly started reading.

But sometimes you won't find what they like. Sometimes it's a matter of time - the head at the infant used to tell about her son who hated reading no matter what she did. Then suddenly at about age 10yo he took off and went from only reading under duress to choosing to read all the time. But that doesn't always happen. Sometimes it isn't something they enjoy.