Are some children just 'readers' and others not?

[Mumof3onetwothree]

I hear parents saying things like 'my son isn't a reader' as though it's a sort of personality trait and you cant do much about it. I loved reading as a child. I find these comments a bit frustrating and to me it feels as though they giving up on the child and they'll miss out. Is this true....are some children not readers? Or is it that they find reading hard and avoid it?
Maybe I'm just biased because I found reading easy and enjoyable.

I think that some aren’t. I was raised by parents who placed priority on reading. I was always off reading a book. One of my siblings is like me and still loves to read. The other has always hated it.

My own child seems to have inherited my love of reading but it’s early days yet.

DD isn't a reader, despite being very able. She finds it boring and a slog. It's frustrating as I'm a voracious reader and her dad reads quite a bit as well. The kid just doesn't like it, and while I haven't given up(keep trying various formats and genres) I'm not forcing her to do it either as it defeats the purpose of reading for pleasure.

It is what it is.

You might have nailed it there.

My DMum and Sis are both readers.
My DDad and I just aren't both dyslexic.

I could get to the end of my kids Biff & Chip books and not be able to answer the questions on the worksheet. Too busy concentrating on the words and kids getting it right to retain the story.

Death by Biff and Chip, glad my youngest picked up reading a whole lot quicker than my oldest.

Even back in the day as a child without screens, excluding the family TV and 4 channels reading was never even a last resort for me.

I'd rather sit with a needle craft kit than read a book.

My kids are adults now and one is a huge reader and the other three read for pleasure but not as avidly. They all read loads as kids and I like to think it was because we always read to them and we always read great books to them. Either me or my husband would read to them every night. Even when the eldest two seemed too old to be read they would often still come and join their younger siblings when we read to them.
There are a lot of shite kids books about. I think you have to find the ones that capture your kids imagination. Unfortunately if kids are made to reading books they find boring at school then it's likely going to put them off reading.
We also gamed everyday so it's not like we were a bookish family.

I think so. DD1 is a voracious reader and will read anything she gets her hands on... I even found her giggling through my old potty training books last week.

DD2 isn't a reader. She will only read books that interest her and even then she stops after 20 minutes or so and comes back later (vs DD1 who absolutely has to finish a book once she starts).

Mine are now in their 20’s.
As babies, I read that the father is the biggest influence on a child reading (I don’t know if this is true), so every evening he would read to our DD’s before bed.
DD1 always a reader and still is today.
DD 2 is 26 and finally has started to read for fun and is looking to join a local book club. Never a reader as a child, always a doer

My child has been schooled (and partially raised) bilingually. There have been challenges, particularly switching to English. Is now fully fluent in both languages, able to read equally well.

I don’t believe anyone is ‘not a reader’ - more that they might be less interested in fiction than they are non-fiction, but school reading doesn’t cater to that.

Both my kids learnt to read quickly and had good understanding and inference skills. As a child, my son didn’t enjoy it and only read books that he had to. Even as an adult he reads for university, reads lots of information sources online but never reads a book for pleasure. My daughter has always loved reading. She’s is a teen now and reads at least a book a week. I read a lot, as does their dad, so the example was set.

They’re both academically able but one has just never liked reading. There’s no need to find it frustrating, it just is what it is.

To add, I remember my sons year 6 teacher saying to us, ‘I can tell he reads a lot at home.’ We just smiled and nodded. He thought it was hilarious and proof that we should stop nagging him to read. 😅

I was a reader. So was DH. DS just isn’t - he can read, he is working at greater depth and is reading brown book band books in Y2. But he will always choose a book with pictures, and use those pictures to have a conversation, over reading a chapter book.

He’d rather read a difficult but short non-fiction book with lots of beautiful photos or diagrams than an easy chapter book. Those huge Animalium/Dinosaurium books are his absolute favourites. He’s very visual, and not a big fan of walls of text. He also definitely sees reading as a social activity, pointing things out and discussing them rather than just sitting down and reading by himself.

Yes, it seems like most of my family have been avid readers, including my children and grandchildren.

We all had story time at night, and then once they were able to read then story time would be reversed, and they would tell the story to me.

I was a "non-reader" until I found out at age 28 that I had a tiny developmental problem with my eyes. I got it fixed and now I am an avid reader.

These people fixed me with exercises: https://www.covd.org/

My ds is 9 And dyslexic and struggled to learn to read but now loves it - we get through a lot of books. When he was struggling he listened to a lot of audio books (and still enjoys them) - I also still read to him and it’s one of my favourite things to do with him

I'd say that, like anything else, some people will enjoy it more than others.

Both my in-laws read a lot, MIL in particular is a massive reader. DH loves reading, and reads multiple books a week. But BIL doesn't ever read. Ever. And never did as a child. He's very intelligent, and I'm not aware that he has any difficulty reading, and obviously he came from a family where books were everywhere. He's just not bothered.

There's lots of factors.

Firstly are they good at reading? Kids who read fairly competently are more likely to enjoy reading

Secondly do they enjoy creative/imaginative thing's? If they don't they may be less likely to engage

Thirdly is reading role modelled in the house? A lot of school reading is focused around learning to read rather than reading for pleasure. If parents read to their, children, if they read themselves they are more likely to see reading as a normal activity and enjoy it.

Do they have access to a range of books so their interests can develop? Having books around specific interests or of favourite authors/characters can really help to inspire readers.

I am a prolific reader (as was my mother) I always have a book to hand. I bought my children lots of books, took them to the library and bookshops from a young age. Read to them every night. We would all snuggle up and read our books together.
My eldest did a literature degree and reads all the time like myself. My middle one has favourite authors, and books series that she loves to read as new ones come out. The youngest reads every day and I still read to him every night. In my house reading for fun is normal. There are books everywhere .

When I was growing up, all my family were readers - me, my brother, my parents - and I still am. It was a surprise for me when I met DH and found that he wasn't (and isn't) as I had assumed that most people are! Now, none of my three DC are readers. They all enjoy reading but don't do it much - this is despite me doing my best to encourage it (eg buying them books, reading to/with them a lot). I do wonder if this would be different if there weren't any screens in their lives.

@Autienotnaughtie I do/did all that with my kids but they still aren't readers!

@Tarahumara then you have definitely earned the right to say they are not readers!

I feel a lot of people say it when they don't read themselves, don't provide opportunities to read (assume it will come from school) . But in different circumstances their child could be a reader.

My mum is an avid reader - out of her 4 children it was only me as a child that followed in her footsteps. My siblings had exactly the same upbringing and same trips to the library etc. 2 of my siblings are very sporty and I think a large part of it is how you want to spend your free time. I saw reading as my main hobby.

I have volunteered as a parent reader in school for a few years now. There is a strong correlation between those who have lower than expected ability, those where it isn't prioritised at home, and those who don't enjoy reading for pleasure IME. They don't enjoy it because it is hard and they haven't been shown how enjoyable it can be, and then later embarrassment is added to make them even more reluctant when they become very conscious of just how 'behind' they are (I'm always given yr6 in the months running up to SATS). There are, of course, also occasional DCs who read regularly at home, are pretty good at it but who just don't enjoy it, but not many.
What has surprised me is how almost all DCs are shocked when they complain a book is boring and I suggest we sack it off there and then in which case, and go and swap it for something 'better'. It has never occurred to them they are allowed to do this. It is clear few have been given the time to be asked what subjects/styles/genres etc they like and either matched to a book accordingly or been given recommendations and help with where/how to find what they're looking for. They are surprised to be told that reading their weekly comic or the huge chunks of text that support the storyline of their favourite videogame (some are surprisingly wordy) all count as reading. Trying to change the mindset that reading is boring is often my first hurdle.
I've found reluctance is almost always down to lack of ability (because of SEN or lack of parental involvement), but lack of interest tends to be a result of not knowing what kind of books they enjoy and/or how to find them.

My own 2 DCs are avid readers and book lovers, BUT I still have to set aside time every day to read to stop everything else taking over, I read to them regularly to allow them to hear how books can 'come to life' as well as access stories above their current reading level, and I carefully select and suggest books to match their interests and to balance different styles and formats (fiction, non-fiction, reference books, comics, classics, poetry, joke books etc etc). They also get a totally free choice from the school library, so can discover random wild card titles there that just look interesting (at 7 and 9yo you most definitely judge a book by its cover!). Being a book lover and enthusiast yourself definitely helps, but isn't enough alone to transfer the passion IMO.

This is exactly what my kids are like. Eldest reads for pleasure, youngest does not. I also think it depends on age. It wasn't really until 8/9 that I began reading as a hobby and my eldest was a similar age. My youngest is 8, almost 9. So still kind of at that age. So I'm not writing him off. I think it also depends on what they're encouraged to read at school. Most adult men I know now prefer to read non-fiction and bemoan being forced to read 'stories' at school.

Im an author and used to work in a bookshop and have two readers, one not, one (youngest) slightly open to it. My ‘not’ is 14 and there’s only so much you can do and after that I think it’s fine if someone doesn’t want to, it’s just not their thing. He’s actually more studious than the reader (16) who only started age 12 when he found Percy Jackson. Our 11 yo was always a reader, excited for homework books, then asking for books and comics but not for the free gift! I read them Harry Potter nightly and then after both read for a while before bed.

In the shop I felt bad for kids whose parents would gush about one child and then roll their eyes (in front of the other child) and say ‘she doesn’t read’. I’d always say ‘oh what do you like to do instead?’ and up the enthusiasm. I’m sure most parents don’t mean to do it and I’ve probably done it myself but it’s not helpful!!

ps probably controversial opinion- readers of comics and audiobook listeners are readers to me. (I once had a show down with a boys’ English teacher who said some of his class only liked comics or graphic novels. I said ‘well they’re all following a story and reading’ so it’s something. My manager was half laughing half telling me to read the room next time afterwards 😅 He was a miserable human being (very young guy with notions😅)

I think you're doing him a disservice by saying he isn't a reader - your description of him is very much that of a reader to me, just that his passion doesn't lie in novels (currently). Novels aren't the only books of value. And he wants to share his enthusiasm and enjoyment of what he's reading, which is great!

My DD has an advanced reading age, just as I did at the same age. I am a reader and she's not. She doesn't get pleasure from reading books, and anything she does read is to learn something she needs for a hobby, or for school work, online research. I read fiction and non fiction, and also enjoy researching things online. As a kid fiction books were my passion, and I would always choose to read over anything else. My DD is more balanced, she's outdoorsy and sporty, and has a variety of hobbies and interests.