Reassure me because I feel like crying.

[fedupandisolated]

... am probably being a bit daft but DS is currently in Reception. I've just had to move him to a different school as I have moved nearly 200 miles away.

I have a couple of concerns

DS has a sensory integration problem which means he struggles with fine motor skills a bit. I didn't realise how much of a problem this was until today.

The class are doing a project about Space and one of the things they are doing is bringing home a toy alien with a diary. The idea is that they do something with the alien, draw a picture or take a photograph and write in the diary about what the alien did.

DS having just joined the school is one of the last to have the alien - the diary has been an eye-opener for me. Some of the children have fantastic writing skills - even those who don't have managed several lines (even if it isn't legible). DS can spell his name but can barely write it.

Ds has just written the diary - he drew a picture of the alien and write the letters "J" "L" and "E" plus several other scrawled letters which are not legible - he now doesn't want to do any more and says he is tired. I've tried asking him what he wants to say and have written it verbatim in yellow for him to trace over but he is having none of it. I feel a bit silly as the info in the front says the entry must be in the child's own writing. I was only hoping that tracing over my letters might give him some practice.

What is the normal progress here? I am just worried that he is being left behind already.

I am not finding his new school that approachable - the SENCO teacher had no idea who he was and didn't seem to know anything about him before finding some scrawled notes made during a phone call with the school DS left.

Any advice from any teachers or other parents oput there?

Firstly, don't worry! Boys often find writing harder than girls, and perhaps his new school has concentrated a bit more on writing. Secondly, it's highly likely that parents have helped their children a lot with writing!

Have a look at this link - it gives some examples of the various assessment standards. They will often start off making a mark on paper and say 'I'm writing', even though it may be just scribble. Then they might learn to write their name, then start to copy other letters, then start to use the first letter of something - encourage him to use a 'thinking line' so writing 'Alien went to the park' could be - w-- t -- p. Then look at the last sound of each word, so it becomes -n wt t- - p----c. I think it's called 'emergent writing'.

If you're anxious about fine motor skills I can recommend printables from the CBeebies website - ds1 loved colouring his favourite characters in, and it will help him with pen hold etc without him realising! You could get him to try to write 'bob' for Bob the builder, dot out the letters, or trace them, try doing dot-to-dot books.

Please don't worry! They all catch up, but boys do find it harder!

all children develop at a different pace. Also not all children have the same academic flare - ie some might be good at imaginative play but not happy to sit and read and write whereas others may be happy to sit and read and write but not so good at the physical activities - it's what makes every child unique.

My ds' reception teacher says that writing is the hardest thing children master, and that a lot of them don't "get" it till year2/3 sometimes.

how is his reading?

I would arrange a meeting with his teacher and the senco to discuss your concerns, but do remember that this is reception and he still has a lot of time to learn.

good luck x

My DS2 is in reception and he can just about write his name. In this situation, I would try and get him to drawn a picture (which would not be anything recognisable ) and get him to tell me what he wants to write, write it myself in pencil and get him to trace over the letters.

Whilst he is obviously not top of the class for writing, his (very approachable) teacher tells me she has no concerns about it. I bet all that writing was done by girls {wink]

what she said

gawd .. I meant 'what tortoishell said'

It's unreasonable of the teacher to expect a Reception child to write like that, especially if they know that your ds has problems with fine motor skills.

My ds1 had similar difficulties. By the time he left Reception he could barely hold a pencil, never mind write. He has had a lot of help over the years (he's now in Yr3) to make progress. If your ds doesn't already have an IEP then he needs one now. Even simple exercises like rolling a piece of playdoh for a few minutes each day made a huge difference to ds1.

ok (1) you can't compare children's work done at home...some parent5s do more than others if you catch my drift....

(2) tal;k to his teacher
(3) what about doing some fine motor skills stuff - google it you'll come up with loads of advice.

Climbing is good for gross motor development (needed pre-fine motor). For fine motor - playdough playing, scrunching up paper, flicking balls (play football), opening clothes pegs, using chopsticks (you can get trainner ones joinned together) to pick up objects. - this is what I can think of off the top of my head,

My DS#2's class did the same thing with a teddy bear. The diary entries have all been written by parents. OK, it was back in the CHristmas term but I din't suppose all of them have progressed that much since then. My DS doesn't write at all yet really. His teacher is a little concerned but not fussing overly - he's busy concentrating on reading, progressing well and with pride. That is enough for me atm. He hasn't got any 'problems' as such.

Please don't be upset. It will happen.

My DS1 didn't get to writing anything legible till well into year 1 and couldn't really read till the end of year 1. He is now in year 4 and his writing is average for the year and he is one of the better readers. As others have said, they progress at different levels, the girls do seem to 'get it' quicker and some kids have more coaching at home than others. As long as you discuss his progress with his teachers at parent's evening to establish that he is working within the normal parameters for his age you have nothing to worry about. In my opinion Reception is about their social development and learning to love school - they've got plenty of years to learn the academic stuff later

mean't to say as well, my kids school doesn't do the 'teddy and diary' thing till year 2 - reception does seem a bit early if they are expecting original work!

Agree with the others about getting him to do playdough, pegs, etc to develop his fine motor skills and that boys can take a little longer to get going on the writing front. How does he do generally with gross and fine motor skills ?

Little bit at some of these replies, because ds is also in year R and can barely make any discernable marks on a page.

I just thought it was normal for someone not that bothered about learning to write, he is more into inventions etc.

I didn't know he needed an IEP - what is an IEP!?

I agree - progress in Reception varies hugely and if he has fine motor skills problems then it is bound to show up as a huge difference at this point. Some of the DC in DS's class appeared to be miles ahead this time last year and the differences are a lot less apparent now (in Y1)

As long as the school are on to it (which does sound like it might be an issue) then intervention now can close that gap by the end of Y1 or in Y2 in loads of cases.

My advice? FWIW - Don't stress about the alien diary, but trawl MN for advice/exercises you can do at home, as well as making trying to make sure that the SENCO finds out who he is and gets engaged!

Flight - I only mentioned an IEP (Individual Education Plan) because the OP said that her ds' difficulties are caused by a sensory integration problem and that the SENCO seemed unaware of it.

Not being able to write at this age/stage is fairly common IME. I didn't mean to worry you.

Flight, your ds doesn't need an IEP, but fedup's son has been referred to the SENCO at his new school because he does, for his sensory integration issues
Dd is in Reception fedup, and I think the best way to describe her writing is "a work in progress". She can write her name, and asks to spell other words (baby, love, pink, chocolate, friend, party, you get the drift) but it's all fairly wonky and variable.
She is keen but not that good!
You have had some good advice in this thread, I hope you manage to get ds settled in well and your fears are allayed.

At parents' evening I was looking through ds's book at some of the sentences he was writing but his teacher explained they have a word bank for each writing task they do - so ds finds the words he needs and copies them in the right order. So for example he wrote 'the firemen hav poot the fire out' but most of those words would have been copied from the bank iyswim. He's not expected to know them all independently!

Oh sorry, thanks, I am a bit dim today

Ds wrote me the most lovely Mothers day card but out of about 20 words he was trying to copy, there were maybe 3 letters that looked like they were intended to.

It broke my heart, he tried so hard

Hope you get something sorted out, fedup

It really sounds as if your child isn't physically ready to write and needs lots of "exercises" fun activities to develop the muscles needed for writing. An easy check is to see if he can touch each finger or his writing hand to the thumb of the same hand one after another, then check to see is he can make "windmill" movements both forwards and backwards with his arms outstretched and finally see if he can roll (send) a hoop away from him with some control. These simple "tests" are a good indicator of physical readiness to write.

To strengthen hands /fingers things like stress balls /playdough for rolling and squeezing, clothes pegs and plant sprays for gripping, tearing newspaper into strips. To strengthen the shoulder girdle which is needed (or writing can be physically painful) monkey bars rope swings wheel barrow races are fun and good exercise.

Good Luck

Thank you all for your replies. I am sure that some of the entries have been supported by parents. It was just such a shock to see several legible entries by children the same age as DS who can barely write his name.

..and Yes - alot of the legible stuff has been written by the girls.

My ds is 5 and enjoys making stuff with those Hama beads, the ones you iron. It's quite fiddly and I imagine quite good for fine motor control.

I don't know about his writing skills though because we are in Germany and he won't start school until September when he will be 6 (2 years later than his counterparts in the UK). It is still generally very much frowned upon here to teach children to read or write before then as it is assumed that most of them are not ready for it.

Try not to worry. Easier said than done, I know, but I'm sure he'll catch up and maybe overtake many of his classmates when he's ready.

Hi, my dd is in reception and has sensory integration dysfunction. She writes a word and they all fill a page, never on a line, but she is improving, Teacher is happy with her progress. That bead thing is a great idea, dd loves it. Are you seeing an OT about problem (easier said than done I know)

If it is any consolation, my DS is in Yr 1, does not have any sensory issues and his handwriting is somewhere between dogged and grim.

I was at the school magazine which showed writing other children in his class had done, which was immaculate. (Needless to say they were all girls ).

The teacher was entirely unconcerned about his writing and said that the boys catch up at about 8 and DS's writing was actually quite good, all things considered. (I took that as meaning the other boys were even worse!).

The point of this was to say please don't set an imaginary bar too high and then worry that you are not meeting it - it really is something that is quite personal and seems to click later with boys.

On writing their own names, I noticed from Christmas and birthday cards that Tom and Ben were much better at writing their own names than Sebastian and Alexander!

Hi fedup, my ds is in Reception & just moved schools too (last week) and I was also shocked to find out that most of the kids in his new class can read and write!!!

Ds can write his name and if you say the letters he can usually write them on a page, but he seems ages away from reading or writing! I am going to talk to his teacher this afternoon and see what she says.

But I know that we should not worry and they will get there in the end.

Oh and the whole diary thing sounds way too advanced / challenging for reception. There is no way my ds could write a whole sentence without copying or tracing it. so don't worry, your ds is not abnormal! (Or, if he is, my ds is too )

I consider my dd quite bright and able and there's no way she could have done that diary task (nor could most of her reception class).

I would have encouraged her to draw, not write in the diary - and maybe just write her name and the alien's name. (even then she would have to copy it from a piece of paper, or have it spelled out phonetically to her).

The other parents must have been putting a lot of work in imo