Toilet issues

[tiredmumma90]

So, I've been stewing over this since yesterday and the more I think about it the more it's really annoying me...

I have a DD (3 years old) in Nursery and another daughter in year 2. Nursery finishes earlier than the other years in school so by the time I've collected my younger DD and gone down to collect my other DD my younger 1 needs the toilet and always goes into year 2 to use their toilets. The teachers now have decided they are going to stop her from using them. Yesterday she needed to go and was refused entry of the building resulting in her wetting herself in front of people then had to walk to the car in wet clothes cos stupidly I forgot to pack her spare clothing.

Surely they can't stop her from using toilets can they? They don't know if she has any health problems - which she doesn't but still it's not the point!!
Should I complain to the head of year?

It's basic human rights to use toilets when needed!

Help needed TIA

It could be to do with fire regulations. You've collected her so she has been "signed out the building" (not literally but you know what I mean). By sending her back into the building she isn't on record as being in there - fire alarm goes off she might not be looked for because she has been collected for the day - by you.
Simple solution - when she comes to the nursery door "Have you been to the toilet? No? Go now then - I will wait here by the door". She is still under the care of the nursery teachers at that point so is still "signed in".

It’s not a basic human right to be allowed access to any toilet though, is it?

If I’m understanding correctly then you’re sending her back into school unaccompanied to use toilets intended for older children? I’m surprised the school ever allowed that, it’s a safeguarding risk for her to be wandering about alone with nobody knowing exactly where she is. As you’ve said, she needs to go right before you pick her up- I’m assuming she can normally go that length of time without weeing?

Does she chug a load of water at storytime at end of the day at nursery or something? She should be able to last 30mins without needing to go.

I'd insist she sits on loo at nursery, even if she says she doesn't need it.

School are reasonable in not wanting her on premises. I know it's annoying, I've had to resort to taking toddler ds for a wee in bushes at school several times (covid times so going into school not an option).

If she really won't go at nursery, bring a potty with a lid or one with an absorbency bag. She can use that instead. I'll bet she just likes going into school and seeing what the big kids get up to!

I would check she has been before and leaves nursery. If she hasn't send her back in before you leave. Otherwise if your dd can't hold it for 15 minutes then I'd bring a travel potty with me (even if I need to set it up in the car) rather than her wetting herself.

Every school I’ve been associated with has a strict rule that student toilets are for student use only. Not younger siblings. Getting caught short once is reasonable but you can’t allow your child to just waltz into the school unaccompanied on a daily basis to use their facilities. I’m astonished you think it’s ok. Surely lots of other students have younger siblings. What if they all decided they needed the loo every day as your child does?

How long is the time between end of nursery and end of school? I can't see how she can go from not needing the toilet to so desperate she wears herself in 10 minutes.

The year 2 staff are not idiots! They just have enough going on at the end of the day without adding a random 3 year old to the mix.

Such things done to kids by teachers hugely annoy me and I have never stopped making this clear, nor will. However, my and my child's health ( two very small sensitive bladders here also) mean that if bloody cruel twats do not let me or my child use toilets, we will find our own bushes somewhere for that relief. Enough is enough.

@MamaAlwaysknowsbest but the child in question has a perfectly fine toilet to use in the nursery.
Schools can't just let anyone in to use the toilets. They aren't public ones.

No, I don't send her in on her own at all, she goes in with her sister.

Wow, the negativity on this post is something else.

@tiredmumma90 it probably is about fire regulations/insurance though.
You need to be firm that she uses the nursery toilet before leaving. If she says she has (and hasn't) or says she doesn't need to go (but does) and then wets herself then she has to suffer the wet clothes.
When you get home she must help you by putting the clothes straight in the washing machine and having to go and wash/have a bath before doing anything she wants to do (play, have a snack, watch TV).
She will hopefully realise her life is easier if she goes before leaving nursery.

She never does a wee on the nursery toilet when you leave but is so desperate by the time you get round to the infants that she is weeing herself? Hoe long does it take to walk round?!

If she’s been for a wee when you leave the nursery (as in sat on the toilet and actually tried) as opposed to you just asking if she needs a wee and walking her away, but then desperately needs one every day at the infant playground, then maybe you need to invest in a travel potty for her.

I sympathise OP, my daughter was always desperate for the loo just after leaving nursery. She would always say she had been, or she would insist to teachers that she didn't need to go. I wasn't allowed into the nursery to make sure she tried so had to take her word for it.

Then she would be wet by the time we walked to the car. I ended up buying a travel potty and learning the most covert areas I could take her to do a quick wee. By the time she was in Reception she had grown out of it thankfully.

It does feel a bit mean that they won't let your daughter use the toilet but I can also see their point of view based on what other posters here have said.

Maybe become a teacher yourself (if you can get down off your high horse). Teachers can't just have random toddlers using their classroom toilets at the end of every school day.

I feel you op. When you pick her up tell her to go and have another try. I have boys so I bought a pot thing for them to pee in but in your shoes I'd get a travel potty and just try and create some privacy.

If it's all on one site it's a shame they refuse to be accommodating especially as your older daughter can take her. Is there any chance they've left the loo in a mess, I flushed, taps running etc?

Yes, bloody cruel twats. They’re absolutely doing it because they enjoy tormenting the OP and making her daughter wet herself.

Nothing to do with the fact that it’s inappropriate for a 6/7 year old to be supervising her younger sibling in a school
building, yet also inappropriate for the OP to accompany her child into the school toilets.

I would also advise against weeing in bushes too close to the school. You don’t want to get reported for indecent exposure.

Most round here are 9-3. If there are no extra staff to cover breaks how does an extra 15 mins help?

School and nursery start at 8.45. Nursery sessions have to be three hours. Staff all go on break from 11.45 until 12.30. Second three hour session in 12.30 until 3.30.

If they didn't have those 15 minutes to make their break 45 minutes they would have hardly a break at all because the doors open at 11.45 so it takes time to get the children to their parents and then they escort the children who do a full day to the hall for lunch.

The ones round here all offer 30 free hours, so full days 9-3. The staff couldn't all go on break at the same time.

Surely the negativity is telling you that you're in the wrong expecting this regularly?

If they're not going at nursery, they can't be that desperate.

The ones round here all offer 30 free hours, so full days 9-3. The staff couldn't all go on break at the same time.

No school nursery I've ever been to has counted the time the children are eating as a part of the session.

Anyway, I don't think you can expect a three year old to go into a classroom and then to the toilets where six and seven year olds are being dismissed.

GreyWednesday · Today 14:11

MamaAlwaysknowsbest · Today 09:24

Such things done to kids by teachers hugely annoy me and I have never stopped making this clear, nor will. However, my and my child's health ( two very small sensitive bladders here also) mean that if bloody cruel twats do not let me or my child use toilets, we will find our own bushes somewhere for that relief. Enough is enough.
Yes, bloody cruel twats. They’re absolutely doing it because they enjoy tormenting the OP and making her daughter wet herself.

Nothing to do with the fact that it’s inappropriate for a 6/7 year old to be supervising her younger sibling in a school
building, yet also inappropriate for the OP to accompany her child into the school toilets.

I would also advise against weeing in bushes too close to the school. You don’t want to get reported for indecent exposure.

:

LOL, our school have always allowed us to use staff toilets on many many occasions. And no, I am way more clever to be caught for indecent exposure, because I know where my own bushes are. I hope that clears your evil suggestions

We also allow children in when "caught short " . However, they would need to be accompanied by an adult and therefore a member of staff. We simply can't have random children wandering in and out of the school.

Wow, the negativity on this post is something else.

How is giving an explanation for the teachers/staff stance negative?

1. Make your younger DD go at nursery by checking before you leave,
2. Carry a travel potty in your car and make her use it if she wants to go toilet,
3. Let your younger daughter wet herself if she refuses to do 1 and use 2. She will learn by being wet that doing 1 or 2 is a good idea.

I've let my DD wet herself when she has refused to go toilet before she has left somewhere and there are no other toilets she can use. My DD refused to use the travel potty I had in my car and oddly never wet herself in the car.

I have no idea what you’re LOLing about- is it amusing that the school let you use the staff toilets? You seemed to be suggested in your original post that the cruel, horrid teachers didn’t let you and your child use the toilets.

I wasn’t making any ‘evil suggestions’. I was making an absolutely genuine suggestion not to wee in any bushes too close to the school in case you are seen by a pupil or their parent.

But then you do seem keen on hyperbole 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't see any negativity, just people not agreeing with you, OP.