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Original poster

7 year old journey to school - advice needed.

61 replies

Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2024 11:23

My daughter has got into an excellent school at 7+, which is great. However it would mean she would need to take a bus 45 mins+ in the morning and evening. The bus is shared with the senior school, so children up to 18.

I liked the school / it would be a great opportunity for her, and gives her a guaranteed place (all being well) for the senior school - but there is something that just isn’t sitting well with me. I also don’t know whether I’m happy to commit to the senior school when she’s so young (although appreciate the 11+ pressure would be removed).

My gut feel is I should leave her put, and keep her closer to home - then go for the 11+ at a range of schools once we know what would suit her better. The journey is so long for such a little one, when she could be doing an after school activity / play dates etc. BUT am I doing her a disservice by not taking up this great offer?

Any insights appreciated!!

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Queijo · 24/01/2024 11:25

7 is very young for such a long day. Can you not sort your work hours so you or your husband can do drop off and pick up? How do you manage school run now?

It would be a massive missed opportunity for her so I think you need to see if you can work something other than the bus.

Ecstaticmotion · 24/01/2024 11:27

I’d probably do what you’re saying your gut is suggesting. Thriving is about more than the school alone, and she may not do so well there with this journey and without the leisure and activity opportunities she’d be missing out on. I suspect your gut is correct! 1.5 hours a day on a bus full of teenagers sounds really unfun for a small kid. She’ll overhear loads of crap too.

Bunnyhopskip · 24/01/2024 11:32

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with my (same age) DD being on a bus alone for such a long period of time. Chances are everything would be fine, and it would just become normal in time, like it is in many parts of the world, but personally for me, I like having my dds at their little village school 2 minutes up the road. The other thing that would worry me is illness and being so far away, it is inevitable that you will at some point get the dreaded call to come and pick your child up, and how will that work when she's so far away? I'm sure everything will be fine if you do go ahead with it, but it's a personal decision and not one I would want to do, as such a long day for a young child.

Yeswoman123 · 24/01/2024 11:35

I think partly depends on which school and just how great of an opportunity it will give her

Original poster
Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2024 11:37

Queijo · 24/01/2024 11:25

7 is very young for such a long day. Can you not sort your work hours so you or your husband can do drop off and pick up? How do you manage school run now?

It would be a massive missed opportunity for her so I think you need to see if you can work something other than the bus.

I don’t think we can make it work as we’d be driving both ways either end of the day - so three hours driving in a day. The school bus seems like the only option.

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Original poster
Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2024 11:37

Bunnyhopskip · 24/01/2024 11:32

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with my (same age) DD being on a bus alone for such a long period of time. Chances are everything would be fine, and it would just become normal in time, like it is in many parts of the world, but personally for me, I like having my dds at their little village school 2 minutes up the road. The other thing that would worry me is illness and being so far away, it is inevitable that you will at some point get the dreaded call to come and pick your child up, and how will that work when she's so far away? I'm sure everything will be fine if you do go ahead with it, but it's a personal decision and not one I would want to do, as such a long day for a young child.

These are my feelings too… just wondering if I’m taking away an opportunity we’ll regret further down the line…!

OP posts:
JeMangeUnCroissant · 24/01/2024 11:38

She would do a lot of growing up very quickly spending that amount of time in an enclosed with teenagers...
Anyway, no, I wouldn't have my 7 year old spending that amount of time travelling alone.

Teaandsympathy · 24/01/2024 11:38

I’ve done the same as you’ve suggested. My eldest is 11 and went to a good school 45-60 mins bus journey away for her last year of primary which links straight to the secondary. Kept my youngest 2 in the local primary for now.

Original poster
Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2024 11:38

Yeswoman123 · 24/01/2024 11:35

I think partly depends on which school and just how great of an opportunity it will give her

If it helps, it’s LEH.

OP posts:
Springcleaninginsummer · 24/01/2024 11:39

Is this a school bus with an escort onboard or is it a service bus? If I knew that the driver and the escort knew the child personally and would be watching out for her that would be fine. If she was just getting on a bus full of older kids with no adult in authority I would be concerned.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 24/01/2024 11:40

Does the bus have escorts on it?

That makes a big difference.

Sherrystrull · 24/01/2024 11:40

What's her journey to and from school currently like? In terms of distance, timings and who takes her?

shearwater2 · 24/01/2024 11:47

If it's a really good opportunity maybe consider even moving house or renting nearer to the school. Sorry if that seems an off the wall suggestion! Did you not look at the journey time before you applied? One of the first considerations with a school is distance and journey, surely?

I agree that 45 minutes each way on a bus is a lot for a 7 year old. DD1 managed it for secondary school age 11-16, but it was too much for DD2 and she ended up moving to the nearest school.

LetItGoToRuin · 24/01/2024 11:51

@Herewegoagain84 what was your travel plan when you applied for her to take the assessment and (presumably) prepped her? Have you moved further away since?

roses2 · 24/01/2024 12:13

I would take the offer if you are happy for her to stay until GCSE/A level. Since it is an all through school they won't prep her for the 11+ as they will want her to stay.

If you plan to tutor her for 11+ at other schools then put her in a nearby school and use the extra time saved on travelling to prep her for 11+.

Wallywobbles · 24/01/2024 12:21

My kids did 1 hour each way from that age but in a car. 7-7 days. For us the education they received was priceless and has allowed them to access the best education going forwards. So yes I think it's worth it.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 24/01/2024 12:23

Most children with special needs have no choice t but to do these journeys due to special school locations 🤷‍♀️
Can't see a problem with this for your child .

FlibbedyFlobbedyFloo · 24/01/2024 12:27

In on the continent, but where I live plenty of kids are doing an hour or more on a school bus with kids aging from 3 to 18.
They have supervisors though. Do they not use supervisors in the UK?

mobogogi · 24/01/2024 12:36

From another perspective, kids living rurally regularly have 45 mins + journeys to school by bus, sometimes with a decent walk or short drive to the bus stop as well. They then have to board sometimes from 11. Just the way things are. Plenty of kids in my town have 45 minutes walk to school for primary as it is, unless parents drive them

Original poster
Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2024 12:55

Really appreciate the input. Her current school is a 7 min drive / or 1 tube stop plus 5 min walk, so v local.

There is no escort on the bus - just the driver, who I understand is quite strict but clearly cannot oversee everything going on while driving.

Pre the assessment, we didn’t really prep her or make a big deal of it - it was really to see what happened. We were also planning to closer to the school, but family circumstances mean we need to stay put for now - but doesn’t mean we couldn’t consider this again in the future.

OP posts:
Yeswoman123 · 24/01/2024 12:57

In that case, I would probably try to make it work to drive the first year or so, and let her take the bus from 9. I would not want to miss the opportunity

heloeey · 24/01/2024 13:43

LEH is in the top 15 of private schools nationally for GCSEs so it's incredibly sought-after - well done on your DD for getting a place. Personally I'd be inclined to stick with the journey with the aim of staying after 11. It will be harder and more stressful to do 11+ than 7+, it's why many parents opt to do the 7+ after all as there is a lot more competition (many parents won't consider moving to private at 7 but lots would consider it at 11) and academically the demands are higher.

45 mins isn't really that long for a journey in London (I think a lot of my DD's prep friends travel from a different part of London, not even particularly far but congestion is bad). And a school bus journey is going to be more relaxed and fun than doing it on public transport. She will make friends with the regular travellers, and often the older girls can be quite maternal with the younger ones.

I am a bit surprised there is no escort on the bus - our prep runs a bus and it has an escort. But I also think the girls are generally well behaved and I wouldn't be worrying about behaviour etc - I'm sure it's similar for LEH too.

I would look into whether she is able to attend any school clubs though, they are a highlight in my DD's prep (before and after school) so it would be a shame to miss out if she always has to miss them to get the bus back.

PuttingDownRoots · 24/01/2024 13:48

My DDs did a similar journey (40mins) from 4&6... to the nearest state school. The little ones were all sat together... and many did fall asleep on the way home in reception, even Yr1.

How long is the school day? Are extra curricular activities available at school, like dance, music etc?

It does sound very normal for Private school though.

Elpheba · 24/01/2024 13:56

Agree I don’t think it’s an abnormal commute for either London or more rural areas. No bus at our DCs prep but some parents drive 50 minutes for the school run. Not what I’d want, we moved to be closer to the school, but if you can’t move yet then I’d say go for it anyway knowing you can potentially move closer or if not she’ll get used to the commute anyway!

SamPoodle123 · 24/01/2024 14:10

I would not do it. That is a lot of time during the day, which could be spent doing something else for a young dc. My dd started secondary and I hate that the journey can sometimes be an hour....no traffic its 15 minutes bus....traffic can mean up to an hour on the bus! Normally it is about 40 minutes. DD does not mind, but she is almost 12. At 7 they are still young and she spent a lot of time in the park, doing other after school activities, play dates. I would only consider this if you plan to move. And you are not sure if you want to keep her there for senior school, so does not make sense.