7 year old journey to school - advice needed.

[Herewegoagain84]

My daughter has got into an excellent school at 7+, which is great. However it would mean she would need to take a bus 45 mins+ in the morning and evening. The bus is shared with the senior school, so children up to 18.

I liked the school / it would be a great opportunity for her, and gives her a guaranteed place (all being well) for the senior school - but there is something that just isn’t sitting well with me. I also don’t know whether I’m happy to commit to the senior school when she’s so young (although appreciate the 11+ pressure would be removed).

My gut feel is I should leave her put, and keep her closer to home - then go for the 11+ at a range of schools once we know what would suit her better. The journey is so long for such a little one, when she could be doing an after school activity / play dates etc. BUT am I doing her a disservice by not taking up this great offer?

Any insights appreciated!!

I wouldn’t send mine on a public bus alone for that distance but would have no qualms about a school bus. You could ask questions about how they manage behaviour, etc. but from what I hear about our school’s bus route it is all pretty sedate

I rode the bus to school all of my education, and generally older kids ignore the younger ones with the exception of a couple girls who will take on more sisterly roles, sometimes because they have siblings and that support extends out to the group of littles. When there is bad behaviour it is typically within the same class year or two - middle years probably being peak obnoxiousness. There were always very strict behaviour expectations, and I don’t remember it ever being very rowdy. Repeat trouble makers usually got assigned a seat right behind the driver. Mostly though it was a chance to read or chat with my best friend.

Would you be open to moving closer to the school? I personally wouldn’t move her now just because a 7 year old alone in a bus with no escort doesn’t sit well with me. I would absolutely do it if the 45min was in a car with me or her father (or another carer).
Also if she’s in the bus with kids up to 18 years old, I’m not sure I would want her to be listening to teenagers conversations every day.
Kids grow a lot from 7 to 11 and it’s such a formative age.
I would go with my gut feeling, but understand the dilemma OP x

Such mixed responses 😬 but lots of food for thought - thank you! Anyone that happens to go on the LEH bus specifically…?

Yes but as you say, they "have no choice". The OP does.

We did exactly the same at 7+ with a 45 minute journey on the school coach. The Y3s are put in front of the bus, then the Y4s and so on. Most 11+ year olds don't take the coach as they take public transport and they would not be caught dead talking to a Y3 so that shouldn't be a worry.

It can be a bit chaotic without an escort but it was generally okay. Hats off to the driver! I also gave a basic phone with GPS so I could track the location at all times.

Duration of the bus journey aside - it can be a bit of a pain, in fact a big pain at times when your very young children go to school out of area!

My boys went to school in central London from age 4 and the journey was around 30 minutes door to door on the tube - I worked flextime in the same area and travelled both ways with them until they were around 10. Although some children from our area went to that school most of their friends were from near the school and all over London, which involved lots to travel for parties and get-togethers, etc. Just something to bear in mind.

Its been a few years now since we moved, but my DDs actually remember the bus as being a fun time socialising with friends. They read, played games, chatted...

What does she do at the moment- wraparound care? Will it be many more hours out of the house?

DS is at school 8.30-5.30 because I work, so it might not be that different.

Where do you live? I’ve got one at LEH and one at Hampton Prep and about a third of the year groups at LEH go on the coach and they love it! Mine go as well but only for 20 minutes but the time they leave makes the return a lot later. Feel free to PM x

I did it got years and hated it, especially by the end. That was only for secondary too. It's part of the reason why I live in a town, where my children can walk to school. It feels like such a waste of a significant amount of your day, every day. I teach Y3 and it's not what I'd choose for the children I teach, however good the facilities. There must be a compromise - surely there's a decent school that's closer?

the question is how many of little ones will travel by bus? It could be only she and the rest of them 11+.

GD started doing a similar journey from the age of 7. She loved doing it - enjoyed the independence. Nobody on the coach ever bothered her. The school asked that she was given a smart phone. The parents were able to track her and see where the coach was if it was delayed. 6th form pupils were responsible for escorting the little ones to the coach after school.

Many years ago, I went at 7 on the school coach to LEH from probably quite near where you live. Now having a 6 year old, I can see why it feels daunting but it was a great experience and gave me loads of independence. The older girls did look after the juniors and there were always quite a few of us on the bus. As I got older, I made great friends with the Hampton boys - many of whom are still life long friends.

The school has great academics but the real difference v. London schools is the facilities and space. That was amazing growing up and I did feel much less social pressure than friends at other west London schools

@Herewegoagain84 , this question comes up every year when the LEH jnrs offers come out. Ring the registrar and ask if you could speak to a parent in the parents association who also uses a bus route as you would like to speak to someone directly. Also re-post asking the questions with LEH or Hampton in the title as Hampton/ Hampton Prep use the same buses too.
The children on the bus are fine and the older ones look after the prep school pupils. You can also get her a device and ear phones for when she is on the bus.
It's a great prep school but the chances are she will probably get in at 11 to so it's whether you want to go through the 11 plus etc.

She will be traveling with other junior school children and maybe someone in her form. It is a great opportunity and 11+ in West London is hectic and if you want to you could do 11+ from LEH, without the pressure of having to leave.
GDST girls coming in 7+, would do 11+ too.

The only other thing I’d add is what happens if your daughter wants to do clubs after school. Most clubs (and there are many!!) are at lunchtimes but there are a handful after school each day too. It may well be less than 45 mins in by car but given I live 3 miles away it kills me to do a 5pm pick up twice a week from Hampton and leh as it takes me over an hour all in all. Many girls on the coaches just don’t do clubs after school though as it doesn’t work for pick ups so she wouldn’t necessarily miss out.

my issue is less with the time of the journey (as others have said many kids do this type of journey) and more with the lack of escorts on the bus.

Even if kids are well behaved, being on a bus with all ages up to 18 is quite a challenge. 7 is young to be on a bus on their own if anythign was going wrong.

I wonder if the school would defer a place? So she goes at say aged 9? If she is good, and they like her, then they may be willing to do that.

Hampton prep starts from Reception so there are children younger than 7 on the bus, the prep school children are met by members of staff off the coach and taken to the schools. It's really quite normal, Surbiton High coaches have 4 yr olds mixing with the 6th formers.
LEH jnrs definitely won't defer a place, they have a long waiting list of parents waiting to jump in and take the available places at a moment's notice.

I totally get that, and can see why you'd be torn as sounds like an amazing opportunity, it's just the logistics that you're struggling with, which is entirely reasonable with such a young child. Is there any scope to move closer to the school to make it easier? What does your DH think? And what does DD think? I'm assuming she's very bright and able, so must be able to voice an opinion on what she would like to do, (although my 7 year old DD, would probably tell me she'd be happy to take a rocket to the moon unattended 😄) Could you do some test runs on public transport with her so she gets a feel for the journey, gets familiar with the route, and you can go through any parts of the process she feels uneasy about? Tough decision for you op, I'm sure whatever you decide will work out for the best.

Hampton prep can only go on from year 3 for the buses. For LEH it’s totally fine, it’s not as though it’s a public bus. They get coach buddies etc and they all love it and they’re all very well behaved! They all sit at the front with the older kids going back.

My ds did the 7+ plus and we got into 2 of the top boys schools. We chose the local one (12 min walk vs 45-60min coach). Some people thought I was crazy to choose the local one (nW London) over the other. The deciding factor was the travel time. I just couldn't justify my child spending his life away on a commute at that age. The benefits of being local - no stress/ pressure in the morning to make the coach, I get to do drop offs/ pickup which is so valuable to them at this age, get to meet the other parents/ kids on the school run. I'm local enough to volunteer at school at times, my ds can do many activities with his friends because there isn't a coach back that he has to make sure he gets on. You actually become so disconnected to your child and their school life waving them off on a coach each day and getting home the same time as you. I do know some of ds friends who are really struggling with such a journey.

@Aptique these are my concerns - I appreciate your perspective. What I realised today was that I think the experience the children have on the bus is also very dependent on the route they take. I went down to the bus stop my DD would get off at today, to see what happened! The bus was half an hour late, so 1 hour 15 minute journey, rather than the 45 minutes that is timetabled. Six children got off, none of whom were from the junior school. I could only picture a very lonely journey for my little one - needless to say, it didn’t make me feel any better! Arghhh!

Yup, my kids did a lot of growing up on the private school coach across London. Certainly learnt a lot of new words, and then got exposed to porn being shown on one child’s phone etc. all reported to school and the students disciplined but it wasn’t an isolated incident. It’s a big coach and they spend a lot of time on it. Maybe not so bad for girls? To be fair the year 3’s are well looked after and sit up the front, things get a bit dicey around year 7 onwards.

kids are pretty resilient but it does sound a lot. Also, for you, you’ll have to travel to assemblies, parents evenings, sports day, various other events - will it work for you?