Deferring by an entire year - what were your experiences?

[xkr]

Hello,

Our son was born early July 2020 and is due to start reception in September this year. I've seen some info about how the month you were born can have a pretty significant impact on outcomes later in life. We're in the process of applying for primary schools and this was mentioned, and it's something we're giving some consideration to... as I can see it the main positives could be:

• he gets an extra year doing fun things as a child
• will likely find school much easier academically
• will likely find sports much easier
• likely higher chance of getting into grammar school if he wants to
• emotionally & physically will be more ready for school
• will potentially have an extra year of education by the time he does his GCSEs etc
• will be more mature and more ready to learn
• 1 year closer in school age to his one year old brother
• could help him socially

And the negatives could be:

• he gets one less year as an adult (one less year earning before retirement?)
• my friends think he might get teased/bullied
• we probably won't get any nursery funding this year, and possibly not even a place
• might feel awkward/out of place to be the oldest and deferred
• could hinder him socially

I don't think it's clear cut, and there are loads of things I've no doubt overlooked... was wondering if anyone had any thoughts please? Thank you :)

I can’t say much (apart from I’ve got an early June baby and he’s now a teen and in top sets throughout, never struggled) but I do remember this thread about grammar schools and deferred age from a year ago:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/4760540-deferred-entry-grammar-schools

I have 2 children who started at CSA, term after they turned 5. Both doing well in school. No one has ever bullied them about it. We explain we wanted them to have an extra year at nursery playing and they accepted this. Neither have any particular educational needs, although I suspect they are both are ND (referred for one). Both are progressing well in their classes.
In England you do get nursery funding. Mine stayed at the same nursery with funded hours.

I honestly do not think it affects children socially, as they will be closer in age to children born in September afterwards them, than to those born Sept/Oct/Nov before them. I honestly don’t notice the difference with mine. They aren’t way taller or way more mature than the others in their class….they fit in completely , because they’re only like a couple of months older than many of their class mates.

The summer born Facebook page is very informative if you do consider it.

I think it really depends on the child. We have an August 2019 baby and he's absolutely thriving in Reception. It's been the making of him. His confidence has grown in ways that I didn't even think was possible and he more than holds his own academically. He loves learning and loves the structure of the school day. But that's my DS. Your child will be different.

4 is so young to start education. Some children are ready then, but many are not ready even at 5, which is why in most countries children don’t start school u til 1-2 years later than they would in the UK. My twins were June born, but premature, and were definitely not ready. Reception was a very stressful year for us all, as was y1 - constantly feeling we’re are racing to ‘catch up’ because they just weren’t ready for phonics or many of the other expectations in school. In y2 now and one has caught up, one still a bit behind, but closing the gap. Even though they are catching up slowly, I feel like it has fundamentally undermined their sense of themselves - neither think they are particularly good at school, and I think that is a belief that will be difficult to change.

obviously it will depend on the individual child, but unless yours is particularly precocious I would defer based on my experience. By the time they are 16, it won’t make any difference to be a couple months older, but it makes a massive difference in formative early years to go in with the maturity and capacity to thrive in school from day 1.

The date for delaying the whole year was today. We have already made decisions and discussed applications and replied to allow parents to apply as normal or not. Even if the school agrees, you are not guaranteed a place next year and need to apply as normal next year to those who have agreed.

We did a reception start at CSA for our August boy.

The best best BEST decision we've ever made. 4 is very young to start school, our boy is very happy. Definitely not bullied 🙂

I think it’s probably a bit of an advantage to go to university a couple of months older tbh.

Only you know your child . I was late July , could read fluently at 3, went to Grammar school and played hockey for the county . We are all different .

But reception is a fun year where they play loads and make new friends

It's not the Victorian era where they all sit at their desks, don't talk and spend all day doing maths and spelling

I never see the point of getting them to miss a year due to age

They'll also behave appallingly if they miss reception because they won't know the rules of behaviour so will come across as really annoying and childish and waste loads of time with the teacher having to deal with their behaviour which in turn impacts on everyone

Plus he'll be even more behind with the basics making it harder to catch up which is the complete opposite of what you should want for him

They aren’t missing reception though, they’re starting reception the year after.

There was a thread on here asking for advice as their friends child wanted to drop out of school towards the end of year 12 as they turned 18 then, so could. Also, mentioned on there was how they weren't allowed in competitive sports teams in their year group so were left out. Just things to consider.

I have a June baby in year 3 and am happy she went in her usual year group. She had a severe speech disorder (not delay) so it did cross my mind, but I have no regrets. She's happy.

if you look at the data on the disadvantages of a summer birthday, it’s pretty clear cut. If your admissions authority will agree to starting reception at csa absolutely grab the opportunity and don’t look back! The option exists for a reason. There’s very little about state education one can have an influence in, if there is a small way you can help to correct a disadvantage why wouldn’t you take it?

We had exactly the same doubts about our summer born child but in the end trusted both our gut and the data and so relieved we did. Our child had summer born peers whose parents considered the same and went ahead with sending them at just 4. One seems to be doing very well academically but is physically tiny compared with the rest of his class but the other is struggling so much academically his parents have been told to get him assessed for special needs as he’s taking too much of the TA’s time. If he were in reception he’d actually be doing well! Feels very wrong that such a small child is already being labelled and when you look at the stats, a shocking proportion of kids labelled as SEN are summer born.

the just turned 4 year olds in my child’s class seem to cry a lot and fall asleep a lot on the carpet and are not yet being sent home with reading books; still stuck on phonics and blending 3 letter words which is what our 3-4 year old is doing at preschool. It seems very cruel to force summer borns into education a year earlier than their peers and miss all that development that will equip them for life ahead.

You will see a lot of ignorance and nay sayers on mumsnet when it comes to this topic but I think that comes mostly from anxiety about their own summer borns who did start at 4, which is understandable, and of course always an element of confirmation bias (whether you did or didn’t delay until csa). But also you’ll see lots of anecdotal ‘my 31st august born is now a brain surgeon’ type posts which is wonderful but they’d be statistical outliers when you look at the data.

Summer borns are objectively at a disadvantage, academically and socially and emotionally and the evidence shows this follows them throughout their school career so any statements like ‘they soon catch up’ are again not what the evidence tends to indicate.

I say this to remind you you’re asking on a forum with all the limitations our responses will have - I would suggest combining our anecdotal opinions with a review of as many studies on this as you can find. That was ultimately what helped us decide.

good luck!

Just to reassure you, you are entitled to funding until your child turns 5/starts reception so will definitely still get the 30 free hours. Your nursery may not be clued up on this so you just need to help them. It’s no different to how they’d treat a September 1st child. It turns out that it used to be the norm to start at 5 but it was actually the free hours funding that incentivised schools to take kids from 4 because that way they got that funding rather than the preschools. So the emphasis on getting your kids to start asap is a financial one and not because anyone has ever been able to show that starting school earlier is in their best interests. In fact studies show quite the opposite; the later a child starts and the older they are in their year, the better long term outcomes.

and socially, suicide rates and severe bullying are significantly higher in summer borns. We reasoned that all kids will encounter bullying of some form and we’d prefer they had a year more development and resilience to be able to respond when it does inevitably crop up.

We nearly did it with our summer born. Really glad we didn’t now as for sports it would have been a nightmare, our child adores rugby and it would have made it very difficult for him to play.

Just passing on the experience of my 2 best friends -

1 was August born and didn’t defer. He has been fine at reception and it’s mostly play eg i’ve seen photos of him playing with dinosaurs at a water/sand table.

1 was born in November so started school at almost 5 and was incredibly bored at nursery towards the end and it impacted her behaviour. My friend was told this was common as kids aren’t stimulated enough at nursery the older they are and are ready for school.

Does your DC currently go to nursery? My son does (he is 3) and they already do things like phonics there and work on pencil grip to get them ready for reception.

“and socially, suicide rates and severe bullying are significantly higher in summer borns. We reasoned that all kids will encounter bullying of some form and we’d prefer they had a year more development and resilience to be able to respond when it does inevitably crop up.”

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied, I’ve read everything and it’s so helpful. Regarding this point specifically I completely agree with the second part, but do you have any information on suicide rates and severe bullying being significantly higher in summer borns please? I had a look on Google and couldn’t find anything, but this would seal the deal for me.

Just hope we haven’t missed the deadline like someone else said! I’m pretty sure the deadline here is March. Fingers crossed.

Are you saying if you defer a year then they won’t be able to play sports by the rest of the year? It’s funny how him being 2 months older than some students would cause that, yet others being 10 months older than older than him wouldn’t be a problem. But I understand they need to have a cut off

Thank you, he does to a forest school 2 days a week and a traditional school 1 day a week. I don’t think they work on phonics or pencil grip, or not yet at least

On sports, there was a thread a few weeks ago which descended into a surprisingly big fight about this, but in my experience it remains valid- sports clubs and particularly those with an element of contact ( eg rugby) are likely to make him play in the correct year ( club cuts offs tend to follow the school year in the Uk) so he would have to play in a different year to school friends. Rugby in school is likely to follow similar rules for safety reasons - they are increasingly hot on this. Other sports seem to vary by school. Friendlies generally ok. Large inter-school competitions are likely to have age rules strictly applied. This is probably more relevant to private schools though in reality.

Our son is deferred, he's currently in year 3 (could have been in year 4). He plays football competitively but for his correct age group. I have friends who quite easily got permission for their children to play in their adopted cohort.
He also plays sports for his school. Again, no problems.
Not once has someone said something unkind about him being deferred and he recently moved schools. His football team are all in the year above and asked why he's not with them, my son just said my parents decided to give me an extra year to play before I started school. And that was that. There are 3 other children in his year deferred.

Just hope we haven’t missed the deadline like someone else said! I’m pretty sure the deadline here is March. Fingers crossed.

If you don't mind me asking, where do you live? In England the application deadline is today January 15th.

If your child is bright they will be fine. If they’re average or below they may struggle. But as others have said, if they’re sporty and defer they will be ineligible to play in their year teams in virtually any sport.

Join the FB group Flexible Admissions for Summerborns, it is a more reliable source of information than MN.

re sports - in both football and rugby you can apply to play with the adopted year, not the chronological year. Apparently this is straight forward - I haven’t done it. I think it can cause issues however if you get to County level in athletics and rugby, that’s just something our head of PE told me.

we deferred our early July DS. He’s currently in Y3 and we are transitioning him to Y4 at the moment. We are really pleased he had that extra year at home, but in part because we never deferred him for sports (& he plays 4/5 times a week) his main friendships are with children in the year above, he’s conscious about being in the wrong year, & we want to avoid that becoming an issue for him in the secondary years.

Are children allowed to remain deferred for all of their education?

My DD, who is nearly 30 now, had a peer who stayed behind a year due to SN. They made her transfer to secondary school at the traditional age, so jumping up into a year group she didn't know well as well astranstioning to secondary. I thought it very cruel of the system to do this to her.

Yes, they are Ohmylovejune