Deferring by an entire year - what were your experiences?

[xkr]

Hello,

Our son was born early July 2020 and is due to start reception in September this year. I've seen some info about how the month you were born can have a pretty significant impact on outcomes later in life. We're in the process of applying for primary schools and this was mentioned, and it's something we're giving some consideration to... as I can see it the main positives could be:

• he gets an extra year doing fun things as a child
• will likely find school much easier academically
• will likely find sports much easier
• likely higher chance of getting into grammar school if he wants to
• emotionally & physically will be more ready for school
• will potentially have an extra year of education by the time he does his GCSEs etc
• will be more mature and more ready to learn
• 1 year closer in school age to his one year old brother
• could help him socially

And the negatives could be:

• he gets one less year as an adult (one less year earning before retirement?)
• my friends think he might get teased/bullied
• we probably won't get any nursery funding this year, and possibly not even a place
• might feel awkward/out of place to be the oldest and deferred
• could hinder him socially

I don't think it's clear cut, and there are loads of things I've no doubt overlooked... was wondering if anyone had any thoughts please? Thank you :)

Hi - we crossposted. I don’t think you can generalise. I would say for rugby probably not, other sports varies by competition/ club. My DC go to a prep and for friendlies it’s fine ( other than rugby) but for formal inter school competitions the age limits are adhered to. Tbh this only becomes a big problem when they’re the top year of the school so there’s no team to “play up” into- ie when they’re in Year 7 they can play in the year 8 team assuming they’re good enough but in year 8 there is no year 9.

possibly private schools are also stricter as deferrals can be bigger if a child is really struggling academically or socially. Eg a December born child might be held back.

I wouldn’t make it a deciding factor but it’s worth considering.

@WarningOfGails

What a relief they've changed it. I really felt for that little girl my DD knew.

Hmmm I feel he's worse off being the oldest rather than the youngest. If he's smart he shouldn't be behind academically and then he gets a head start in life

If you're in England you have left this far too late to apply

Agreed. The deadline is today, it's far too late to be only just starting to think about it the day applications close!

Yes, sports at any kind of competition level, have to be in their year of birth. 1/9 - 30/8. For obvious physical reasons there has to be a cut off, otherwise you'd get 'but he's just one day older than him' for ever. I am very glad this rule exists otherwise it would be dreadfully unfair on the youngest. If there was no deferral system the absolute max someone could be younger is 12 months, with deferral it's 15 months. I'm sure it's wonderful for your child, but personally I think it's completely wrong. Widening the gap even more from the parents who can afford that first year to those that can't.

I will say I considered deferring my August born ds - he was so very small and socially a bit behind aged 4.
he’s now y6 and steaming ahead, passed grammar school exam, very pleased I did not hold him back

its very difficult to predict though so you have to go with your gut. Unless your child has specific difficulties I’d not do it. The complications with sport are real

also in those last few months between applying for school and actually starting, they grow up a lot.

Parents of deferred kids, be prepared for them to complain to you about your choice once they are adult. You are basically taking away one year of their adult life (earning).
I have skipped a year and on several occasions felt I was lucky for this extra year I had. I don’t miss the school year I lost when I was 5-6, the same way as your children won’t remember the extra nursery year, they’ll just see themselves graduating one year older than they could have been.

Looks like we have to apply for schools starting this year by today, but the deferral deadline is 31st March - https://www.gloucestershire.gov.uk/media/pj3ml412/summer-born-information-sheet-and-application.docx

On the flip side don’t you potentially put them in a much better place to earn more across their career anyway?

A year sounds like a lot, but realistically for most summer born deferred they will just be a month or two younger than some of their classmates born in September anyway

Another factor is that those children born in September will have had months extra at pre-school too

The data is pretty overwhelming but I think this thread is a delightful confirmation that geeks don't care about sport! I didn't consider that for one second when i deferred my August born boy. Really great decision for him. He had a fab time in his brilliant sure start nursery for that extra year.

I'm slightly baffled about the retirement point. Surely all the year out kids are also getting to 67 and cursing their mums for letting them swan off to Thailand instead of accruing an additional year of defined benefit pension pot?! Really?

OP- re your point about grammar they age adjust the scores so the assumption re grammar entry may not be relevant. Ie an august born child doesn’t need as high a score as a September born one.

But then it's a choice they've made @Legoroses. Not their elbows out parent.

But a previous year august born will be docked points. Amd rightly so.

You have a better idea of your child than anyone.

Do you think having to play sports with different children bother him? Out of school teams often have a variety of children anyway.

Does he gravitate more to children slightly older otlr younger than himself? If it usually plays with older ones he might find another year at nursery more upsetting... but if he naturally plays with younger ones he will stay with them.

What about size... if he tall for age he might feel out of place in the lower age group. My late June DD was the tallest in her class in Reception despite being one of the youngest.

But ultimately, you need to accept that you will never know the outcome of making the opposite decision.

“The data is pretty overwhelming but I think this thread is a delightful confirmation that geeks don't care about sport!” - you’re so right! Haha every time I bring up anything relating to sport my wife rolls her eyes and says she doesn’t care about sport 😂

Thanks so much again to everyone for the responses, I’m trying to reply individually to people but I think they’re coming out as just standalone messages? Not sure why.

Thanks to all of the discussion here I’m strongly leaning towards deferral and have already started making phone calls to find out more. In additional to the original post I’m now thinking that:

1. My son just moved up to an older group at football, got really upset and had to be moved back down again

2. He’s not had a proper pre-school experience. People saying things like oh as long as he’s spent a lot of time doing phonics, holding a pencil, reading etc he’ll be fine. Reality is he does 2 days a week in a forest school and just 1 day in a traditional preschool - many children will have hundreds of pre-school days come this September, he will have had around 40

You might want to consider how academic you think your DC might be. I considered deferring my DS who is summer born, because he was emotionally a bit immature. However he is academically advanced and already fluently reading. He went to school at 4 and is very bored. It would be even worse if he were in the year below.

Take into account that he might not find school easier if you defer a year. Starting at the correct time might have no negative effect on him whatsoever. If you defer He'll be legally allowed to leave school a year before his classmates and you won't be able to stop him. My child was born later than did very well at school and now has a very successful career.

The first thing you need to consider is does your LEA routinely allow deferral? People make it sound so easy, and it might have been in their area but it's not the same in all.

Other factors - social clubs other than sport may make him move up with his birth year group not school group (eg cubs, scouts etc) so he might not be with classmates, although having friends outside of school class isn’t a bad thing.

sixth form/key stage 5. Although it’s 2 years (years 12&13) they can do 3 years - many kids do year 12 on one course/courses and realise they’ve made a mistake, and so go back to restart year 12 on different courses / at a different school/college. I believe if you’ve deferred you no longer have this option for all schools as he will already be 18 turning 19 in year 13 (although some FE college would be fine). For most kids it wouldn’t matter, but you will need to be more focussed on making sure the post GCSE choices are the right ones. (For most FE options you need to apply around now, before GCSE mocks have happened/been marked).

We were “accidental deferrers” with our late summer born DC.

We knew we would be unavoidably having to relocate half way through reception year. So we didn’t apply to start reception in our old town, and couldn’t apply for new as we weren’t living there yet - same for following year.

The plan was to reassess once we were living in the new place, to decide whether to take an in-year admission place with correct age if it came up, or (after Sept), one for the year below. Head said we could be considered for either.

In the end, a place came up after Easter with the correct age cohort, and we took it.

DC missed two terms of reception, but joined the correct age class.
I know everyone always says this is the worst of both worlds, but actually I think it was hugely beneficial for DC.

They got to have those crucial 8 extra months growing up a little bit more, which I think made all the difference for maturity and school readiness.

They actually caught up really quickly academically, made lots of friends, were fine going into Y1 a term later, were very ready for high school in Y6, very high scores in Y6 SATS, and now still flying academically in their correct age group - tbh they were quite bored towards the end of primary, so being in the year below would probably have been very frustrating.

For my child, the deferred start happened to be perfect, but they didn’t need it to be ongoing, as there are no issues with academics.

I would say if you think there will be an issue with learning, I would hold back a year. If you think it is more maturity and school readiness, where a few months at this age can make a big difference, I would seriously think about if you can start later in the year, but stay with the correct age.

My DD was aug 31. We didn't defer - she's the youngest in her year, but academically she is more than happy and is in her second year of grammar. The only thing it ever showed in was sport at primary, and knowing her she would've been so so bored being in the year behind.

Yes so you'll have to defer or apply today. Far too late to be deciding this.

Surely the best play is to apply for a place for this year, then apply for deferral? Puts us in a good position if the deferral is declined