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Primary education

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Original poster

Supply teacher called DS2 a name which made the rest of the class laugh at him, and upset him - am I overreacting?

57 replies

SixSpotBurnet · 17/03/2008 22:29

DS2 was upset today because the supply teacher who was taking his class said, when he answered a question, "Oh, you sound posh" and then called him "Mr Posh" for the rest of the day, which apparently amused the rest of the class no end but upset DS2.

I think this is a bit out of order - I don't think a teacher should make fun or draw attention to the way any child speaks - and I can't see how calling someone "Mr Posh" is anything other than taking the mickey out of them.

It strikes a bit of a raw nerve with me because I was persistently bullied at school for being "posh" - we weren't, but I was brainy and we didn't live in a council house, so I stood out a bit. I really don't want the same to happen to my DSs, who go to a very diverse state school in Hackney.

Would you say anything?

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GooseyLoosey · 17/03/2008 22:34

Gosh - I opened this prepared to say you were being too sensitive but you are not. Teacher was bang out of order and I would indeed say something, it is not a nice thing to do and if the teacher is not aware of that, they should be made aware.

PrettyCandles · 17/03/2008 22:38

Completely wrong IMO to do this. You are definitely not overreacting to feel angry at this. A teacher should call a child by their name, not by a label. Personally, I would complain - let the head know what happened and that it is unacceptable. IMO it's a form of bullying by the teacher - though no doubt they thought it was quite benign.

policywonk · 17/03/2008 22:40

Like you SixSpot I was called 'posh' all the time at school and found it very upsetting (had a thin skin, but then I was only about 11-13 at the time).]

Say something to head - supply teacher should be made aware that it was received badly.

Bink · 17/03/2008 22:41

Yes - I do think something needs to be said, but I am wondering what. Presumably this was a one-off one-day (or not much more) supply teacher?

mollymawk · 17/03/2008 22:41

The teacher was highly insensitive. Especially towards a primary age child.

Original poster

SixSpotBurnet · 17/03/2008 22:43

thank you all, I am relieved that I am not massively out of line with the mn norm!

I have said to DH that we should wait and see if they have her again tomorrow.

She has apparently been at the school on and off for ten years but has not had DS2's class before.

OP posts:

mylovelymonster · 17/03/2008 22:43

Stupid and thoughtless comment. Totally unprofessional to single out a child in this way and make him feel self concious, like there's something wrong with talking nicely. Poor DS - I would make a complaint if in your shoes.

paddingtonbear1 · 17/03/2008 22:43

No, you are not overreacting at all! I would be mad. At dd's school they insist on always calling the children by their proper first name. I would definitely complain!

berolina · 17/03/2008 22:43

Unprofessional in the extreme. I'd be incandescent, tbh. Your poor ds.

JingleyJen · 17/03/2008 22:45

I would say you are not over reacting at all.
I would speak to the head teacher.

controlfreakyagain · 17/03/2008 22:46

complain....
and when they try to imply you are "overreacting" and being "too sensitive".... ask them if it would be acceptable for one of the class to be called mr common for the day?

mylovelymonster · 17/03/2008 22:46

Wow - that came across quite strong
Was upset for your little boy and got cross......

Bink · 17/03/2008 22:46

Oh, and I too remember those taunts. Bizarrely hurtful, as the idea went (I think) that I was proud of being "posh" & so this was taking me down necessary pegs: so I deserved it, or something (unlike being teased for red hair, which is equally unfair but no-one thinks you've actually chosen to have it) ... real insidious inverted snobbery. And it lasted for ages. It may be why my parents moved me to another school - I've never quite worked out why they did that.

I was wondering if the supply teacher was, eg, Aussie, and didn't quite get what a Pandora's box that was. (Or if, being a supply teacher, he/she didn't give a stuff what sort of boxes got opened.)

pinkbubble · 17/03/2008 22:46

Was it because he was speaking properly! I prefer children that talk properly and pronounce their words properly. Tell DS its a compliment! (in around about way!)

barnstaple · 17/03/2008 22:47

This is appalling behaviour in a teacher. 'Posh' is a pejorative in dd's school, and she has been called it a few times for her accent when she was new (but seems to have outgrown it now); there are a couple of girls who go around upsetting everyone in the class on a regular basis, and they are always referred to as The Posh Girls by the other kids, but not for their accents.

I think you should mention it to the class teacher, who will probably have a subtle way of letting the class know that this is not a good thing without being overly specific; but also to the Head so that supply teacher can be told, too.

policywonk · 17/03/2008 22:50

I finally won out over those who called me 'posh' when I turned around one day and said 'Yes - that's right. I'm posh. My parents have more money than yours and I've been better educated than you have. Also, I'm more clever than you are and will almost certainly get better qualifications and a better job. So you can call me 'posh' all you like.'

I'm not saying that everything I said was admirable, but it sure shut them the f*ck up.

Original poster

SixSpotBurnet · 17/03/2008 22:50

Pretty certainly not an Aussie teacher, from DS2's description of her.

pinkbubble, the DSs (well, the two of them who can speak - DS3 can't) do "speak proper" - they get it from us - we are both graduates, DH is Home Counties, I have a regional accent or two but these have been whittled away by 20 years of living in London and working in the City. I drum it into them though that it is completely unacceptable to take the mickey out of others - so it infuriates me to hear it coming from a teacher.

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Desiderata · 17/03/2008 22:51

Very out of order, for all the reasons you stated in your OP.

I would say something. She's probably very young, and trying to get in with the children with a cheap method that a more mature teacher wouldn't utilize.

I wouldn't look upon it as a nasty thing to do. I am sure that he/she will learn from the admonishment, and not make the same mistake next time.

Desiderata · 17/03/2008 22:52

pinkbubble · 17/03/2008 22:53

I agree! I have a real pet hate when other DC come to play and they do not speak properly, dropping letters and sometimes even words, and when they miss out a whole sentence and just grunt, I reply very sweetly through gritted teeth! Much prefer a proper talker!!!(so to speak)

mylovelymonster · 17/03/2008 22:57

...yes, and how sad is it that such comments may put children off wanting to speak nicely because they feel they won't fit in with the others.....

Heated · 17/03/2008 23:00

I would never do this, nor would my colleagues. I can be acerbic and use humour to put a bolshie teenager in his place, but this is not funny and your ds is only little. I would speak directly to the teacher and tell him ds was upset at being the brunt of the 'joke' and he is scared to come back into class. I wouldn't accuse, but go for the guilt. If I was feeling really vindictive I'd throw in his selective mutism, death of the rabbit... and watch the teacher backpedal.

choosyfloosy · 17/03/2008 23:00

What???

YANBU.

I've deleted about four posts, I can't respond to this rationally at all so better that I keep it short.

Desiderata · 17/03/2008 23:02

Exactly, monster. Enough kids are talking total crap at the moment, without discouraging perhaps the only one who doesn't.

No, you must do something about this. It's not about being precious ... the supply teacher was horribly out of order, and as I said earlier, extremely immature.

You don't learn in any profession until you've been brought to book for a misdemeanor. He or she won't do it again ... I sincerely hope.

Bink · 17/03/2008 23:05

I've been thinking about this a bit more - and I think the particular line the teacher took (the "posh" angle) is almost beside the point - the point is she whipped up a class of 6 and 7 year olds to find something derisory about one child (which they might not even have noticed) - and fostered it all day long.

Do you think the head will understand that her giving a whole class ammunition against one single child is not "just a bit of fun" (which will be the defence I bet)?

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