Supply teacher called DS2 a name which made the rest of the class laugh at him, and upset him - am I overreacting?

[SixSpotBurnet]

DS2 was upset today because the supply teacher who was taking his class said, when he answered a question, "Oh, you sound posh" and then called him "Mr Posh" for the rest of the day, which apparently amused the rest of the class no end but upset DS2.

I think this is a bit out of order - I don't think a teacher should make fun or draw attention to the way any child speaks - and I can't see how calling someone "Mr Posh" is anything other than taking the mickey out of them.

It strikes a bit of a raw nerve with me because I was persistently bullied at school for being "posh" - we weren't, but I was brainy and we didn't live in a council house, so I stood out a bit. I really don't want the same to happen to my DSs, who go to a very diverse state school in Hackney.

Would you say anything?

awww i love it !!!!
you re so not being unreasonable but if you were me as a child taunted for being poor always aware you had free school uniform and school voucher shoes with a mum that had died when you were 11 and a stepfather who hated the sight of you and only kept you because he claimed lots of state benefit - I BLOODY LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL MY CHILDREN AND ME POSH SO MUCH SO IT MAKES MY CHILDREN LAUGH AND NOW OTHER CHILDREN LEAVE THEIR ACCENTS ALONE- TO ME A WELLSPOKEN WELL TURNED OUT CHILD IS A COMPLIMENT TO THE PARENT BUT I AGREE THE TEACHER WAS SLAP BNG OUTTA ORDER!!!!

Fuck me, Windy, there's no need to shout

YANBU

Absolutely bloody outrageous.

Actually took a sharp intake of breath reading the OP

This is totally unacceptable. I'm sure the teacher wasn't being malicious, but she is obviously lacking in any common effing sense!!

(I was bullied all through school because I was apparently "posh". The bullying stays with me to this day and I am 36.)

sorry desi lol it was the thought of being posh

Horrible to single out your poor ds like that. Even worse that she carried on with it for the rest of the day.

Dh was badly bullied at school for being 'posh' - eg wearing the correct school uniform and not speaking 'bovver'. (does anyone still talk about 'bovvers'?)

He said that the worst point was that one particular teacher joined right in, hoping to curry favour with the troublemakers in the class. She mimicked his voice whenever he had to answer a question, and even said his homework was written in a poncey fashion.

YANBU - ridiculing a small child is wrong, and for the crime of speaking properly - even I (cowardly retiring violet) would be straight in to see the head.

Completely not okay, under any circs. Would it have been acceptable for her to call a child 'Mr Chav'? Precisely.

My older two were in a very mixed Hackney primary school and we never had anything like this from teachers (though I'm sure dd1 in particular took the odd 'geek' and 'nerd' jibe from the harder kids). I'd have been in the head's office like a rat up a drainpipe if any member of staff had come out with a comment like that.

We have this sort of attitude from ds' class teacher this year, intermittently, and, like you SixSpot, I was teased at primary school for being brainy=posh so it's a bit of a parpy subject for me too .
I think you have to say something, and I do hope that, as bink cautions, it's not written off as a "bit of fun" .
I've attempted to have it out with our teacher twice now, with no success. Apparently it's either a "misunderstanding" or a "laff". We are going for one last effort at forthcoming parents' evening and then she's had her three strikes.
I wish you better luck

My DS4 was called Brainbox by a supply teacher a couple of years ago - some of the children in his class (mainly less able boys) still tease him and say he is a swot and teachers pet etc.

I drummed it into him that he should ignore them and carry on doing what he is doing. In a few years time when they are all wandering through life he will have a great job and will be earning loads of money.

I feel for your DC - incidentally the supply teacher never came back - think it might have had something to do with my demonic stare at her when it was hometime!

Shockingly unprofessional!

I agree with Coppertop, it's not just the initial name calling it's the fact that she deliberately carried on with it for the rest of the day.

If you removed posh and inserted scummy she'd be on a supply blacklist faster than she could sneeze. Just because posh is considered a compliment by some doesn't detract from the fact that she ridiculed a child over a sustained period of time.

AWFUL

Yes, that's is so mean, your poor ds

completely agree with what everyone else seems to be saying (not read all the posts, but skim-read the thread, so apologies if I missed a dissenter)

She was totally out of order and I think you should say something to the head.

This is really weird. Where's the school? In the middle of The Bronx

Cheeky twat! Complain! How dare he single out your DS and ridicule him - is he 10 years old? (the teacher that is) I hate teachers abusing their position of power in that way. I would def complain, and in the meantime try to comfort DS, so that he is strong enough to rise above it all and not get upset - explain that hte teacher was just jealous and clearly is unable to control the class properly if he feels the need to single people out. It is tantamount to bullying.

But also agree with Windy about it being a compliment.

In about 1976, a teacher dangled my younger brother by his feet in front of the class and he wet his pants. My Mum still gets cross, even though little brother has recovered from the incident. So you're definitely not being UR

YAmostdefinitelyNOTBU.

I, like Policywonk, finally got my head round the teasing and basically stopped it in its tracks when I retaliated along similar lines. But that was in senior school. In this instance the teacher is encouraging division and teasing which is completely completely inappropriate.

Only just seen this, 6Spot - and really sorry that this happened to your lovely happy, 'unaffected' (i.e without affectation'), spontaneous little boy.

Yes, mention it.

Supply teachers shouldn't be setting a terrible example, behaving cruelly and unprofessionally, or putting children off school!

I spoke to our head about something a supply teacher did last year.

how extraordinary
imagine if she had said "you sound common" and called him "Mr Chav" or something
really odd

Is it remotely possible that, in her mind, she was being complimentary?

What does the word "posh" mean to her, I wonder?

Did she call him "Mr Posh" all day thinking he liked it, a bit like when a child is given a sticker to wear all day?

She'd have to be spectacularly obtuse to think that way, admittedly, but I'm suggesting that she may not have realised she was upsetting him.

my brothers and sister used to call me "posh" because I went to a small grammar school; we had the same parents and upbringing! I was a VERY sensitive/ shy child (which is why Mum put me forward for the grammar school in the first place), and if I'd had that sort of teasing at school, I suspect I would have been wounded for life. I still am self-conscious about my RP accent (I do stick out like a sore thumb in SW Scotland!).

Also, I'm a bit worried that if she called your poor ds "Mr. Posh" all day, and all the other kids thought it was funny, the name might stick, even after she goes .

I completely agree that YANBU. Like so many others on this thread (maybe we should start a support thread! sob!) I was teased at school for being posh - it must have been because I used words of more than one syllable I think, because we weren't at all!

I think the problem is that some people, particularly adults, don't see "posh" as being derogatory. The teacher probably thought it was an affectionate, joshing compliment (along the lines of the "brainbox" comment earlier down). But of course we all know kids use the word very differently and often cruelly.

IMO you should say something - not just for the sake of your DS but because this woman needs to think harder about how her jokes may be received by the class. A teacher of all people should understand the effect of comments like this.