Teachers/TA’s social media and parents.

[notahappybunny7]

Are there rules in your school about being friends with parents on social media?
At the school my daughter attends there’s a huge amount of staff, mainly TA’s also some teachers who are friends with a lot of parents, it’s a small town and I imagine it’s unavoidable but given the children of those parents are also favourited it does leave a bad taste.

However my friend has let me know she is also friends with the staff at her daughter’s school too. She didn’t know any of them before her daughter went there and Lo and behold, her kid is also the favourite.

surely they should be rules on this sort of thing in this day and age??

I'm a primary teacher and I would definitely not be friends with parents or former students on social media. It would be unprofessional.

Yes we are very lucky. It’s a wonderful school, on paper anyway, but a lot of snobbery and favouritism.

as I said, it’s us working class parents who seem to be being ignored regardless of how much we try to help etc.

it is a very old fashioned, traditional catholic school and I’m starting to wonder if it’s something to do with the fact I’m a single mother? There’s definitely a reason and I’m not the only parent who feels this way.

Well yes, absolutely.

Ironically, one of the mums who’s picked over every one else is exactly the type to do this.

Very very strict rules on social media. The SLT check everyone’s regularly. I never post so they love me. I also don’t join WhatsApp groups so have no idea what anyone is bitching about (thank god).

I don't believe you.

🤣

What school regularly checks its staff social media! That's preposterous. There has to be a level of trust in a professional job.

I'd speak to your union. (If you do actually work in a school).

I'm a TA.

I have parents on my social who are genuine friends, but I wouldn't add or accept a parent who I don't know outside of school.

When I did my training it was heavily frowned upon to connect with parents on social media.

Getting away from the point but is favouritism something I should complain about? And a ta being in the same class as her child? Bad management by the head at the least?

Favouritism is a harder one to push, but a TA shouldn't have their own child in their class, that's just wrong, not very good for the child either.

I'd push the favouritism more along the lines your child never seems to get into after school clubs/concerts etc despite putting their name down, and you feel your child is missing out on opportunities in the school.

I agree with you OP. At my primary there is a 'mafia' of teachers and TA's with kids at the school, PTA mums and parents who are socially very pally with the head and/or senior teachers, between them they dominate everything - all after school clubs, trips and plays and sport and cultural after school clubs. Their kids are always picked for school plays, and always seems to be the same rotation of kids in the school newsletter. Also agree that middle classed parents are always chosen for everything. If parent is a teacher or lawyer or other professional classed job, the teachers will always be drawn to them to help out

My god it’s exactly that!

Also the sahm mums with wealthy partners!

Yes, this especially, its like a lot of the meet ups to plan events are aimed at SAH's. I work full time , so their coffee mornings are completely off limits to me, unless I book time off work.😥

@waitlistt It's even worse if you're a teacher with three kids of your own!! We are able to get involved with literally nothing; assemblies, plays, sports days are all impossible to support 😞

The majority of TAs in our school were at school with our parents. Of 14 teachers, 2 were at school with parents. If they were friends with these parents before they worked at the school/before children attended our school, then how can school/SLT dictate they can't be friends with them now?

Again with staffs' own children, if their school age children live in catchment, why would they not attend the school?

Sadly our PTA is woefully undermanned as working parents cannot get time off and non working parents can't be bothered - so yes, lots of staff children get chosen for stuff, because it's the bloody staff putting the effort in on top of their jobs.

I'm friends with 2 parents, both because my DD (who didn't go to my school) was in a sports club with their children of the same age and we became friends. My DD is now an adult, they have younger children at my school. No, I'm not going to stop being friends with them because another parent doesn't like it.

Perhaps they need the after school club because they work after school hours.

There's absolutely no rule that a parents can't teach/be in the same class as their child. At one point over 10% of children on roll where I taught were children of staff! It can be unavoidable and staff should be put where they fit best. Whether they teach their own child will sometimes be relevant to that, sometimes not.

Regarding favourites, I'm sure I'll get flamed but children of staff are often very well behaved! They do their homework, they read 5 times a week and put it in their reading diary, they speak politely to adults. Any child who does the same will be praised but children of staff disproportionately make up this group of children. I've quite honestly never taught a teacher/TA's child who has not been very well behaved.

If it bothers you that much, volunteer at the school and give them some of your time. That way you’ll feel more included.

Honestly, you just sound like a bitter parent having an unfounded rant about unsubstantiated favouritism 🤷

Most school staff I know have integrity and actually care about all the kids they teach. Being friends with staff on SM isn't an issue as long as that is accompanied with the correct boundaries and professionalism to do their job well.

I did, got a frosty response, so didn’t bother again.

Unsubstantiated?? I don’t need evidence it’s obvious. And yes, I’m annoyed that my beautifully behaved and hard working child gets nothing some of her peers do simply because we have no prior links to the school

Are the kids volunteering though, my daughter does choir and lead roles because she loves being on stage, normally shy but so confident on stage.
I also go on trips because I offer and take the day off work, I don’t get grouped with my daughter most times but it’s fun.
I don’t smoke, don’t go on my phone, worked in childcare so know rules around safeguarding and have an enhanced dbs and chaperone license because of this I am usually asked but I started by offering with reading in class, helping with gardening etc.

At my school, volunteers need a DBS. Therefore only a very few parents are asked to come on trips.