Are all parents who help in school seen as busybodies by other parents?

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How are parents who help in school seen by other parents? What is your view of a parent who is on the PTA and helps with reading but only in their own child's class and is also the class rep (a busy parent) who also spearheads the class mums clique viewed? Are they really popular and admired by other parents or do you think they have other motives?

Yes, I think you're right.

I’m glad they exist and have the time to do good for the school.

Full respect for this!

I do reckon those who can be hanging about their child’s school during the working day must have a lot of time on their hands, and really ought to be working. But I suppose they could be shift/night/weekend workers too, so to each their own.

Neither.

Many parents wouldn't even know which other parents help in my dds school.

Unless dd mentions it or, or it's a parent that I chat to, I wouldn't know who helps.

I don't judge anyone who does.
(I may be slightly envious they have the circumstances to be able to but that has everything to do with me and my health than judging them for any reason.)

I had a v flexible full time job and made it work. I’ve outlined my reasons why above. I really think it’s a bit scathing to say things like this. Some people prioritise helping at their children’s school. You often learn about the inner workings of the school which can be fascinating, and designing events to be as cost-effective as possible takes real skill and knowledge. It’s a way to be involved with a team of people, make friends and do something meaningful.

If that’s not for you, fine, however, I am a bit judgemental of parents who do nothing and expect others to pick up the slack while their children directly benefit from the work I and a small amount of others do. There are many parents who work ft and find a way to support; if they’re graphic designers they do posters, if they work in a shop they make a donation from there to the raffle etc. Doing nothing could never be me!

If there weren't volunteers at my kids old school all the non teaching stuff wouldn't happen. Volunteer parents organised the annual themed disco (that would be me), the Christmas fair, the summer fair, the second hand uniform shop (I didn't run it but worked there every week) and so on. Independent school too, but while we had a budget it was all run by us. Do not underestimate how much it takes to get outside vendors plus children run stalls, the years 1&2 to do xmas songs or older kids to dona dance routine (whatever) decorate the sports hall or arrange the marquee in summer... not to mention the cleaning up!
The people that think the volunteers are 'busybodies' are probably the first to complain when the summer fair is cancelled!

I just want to say well done @mondaytosunday as I guarantee in real life you’ll be getting few thanks!

Parents often show up to these events, far too busy to have helped out with stuff, and stay late while we’re trying to clear up, it’s rude. I hand them a broom and say thanks for staying on to clear up…

@TheCountIsPale yes I agree my judgement isn't very kind and I certainly appreciate the parents who do have the interest and inclination to do these things and anyone who gives their time to volunteering. My job isn't flexible unfortunately.

Well thank god there are ebough parents out there with such empty lives that means they have the time to arrange all the school fairs etc for your kids, eh? What a horrible thing to say!

I was on the PTA for quite a few years. I worked 4 days a week so not full time but I have a job that is mentally and physically demanding. I really can't say that I enjoyed all that was required to put on the events that raised the much needed cash for the school, but so few people volunteer i wanted to do my bit.

I genuinely think many parents have no clue how much time and effort goes into organising summer / Xmas fairs, fundraising sales etc. Time often taken in the evening/ weekends after you've finished your normal job / sorted out your kids etc. Nor do they realise that PTA funds pay for things most would deem essential such as art supplies, books.

I assume you don't let your kids get involved in any event / activity that these sad lonely people have helped to put on, then?

It's more the It's Judgemental but I'd assume they didn't have a lot in life to find stuff like PTA interesting

I enjoyed my time on the PTA, it's often bloody hard physical and mental work. The amount of energy needed setting up summer fairs etc, not a minute to sit down on the actual day. It was a contrast to my employment (graphic/product design), which is sedentry and solitary. All the logistics take some mental gymnastics. Also made some lifelong friends, plus felt I was putting back.
Nothing uninteresting about it.

I volunteer with teens now, who need a helping hand in getting on the right path. There is certainly nothing uninteresting about that, I've never laughed so much (and lots of tears in private). Very challenging 🤣

@DoktorPeppa your comment is very strange.

So do you judge everyone that volunteers, in any capacity, ie in a charity shop, puppy walkers, hospital transport, etc or is your judgement just for those of us who volunteer in schools?

I think volunteers are motivated by being closer to the school in order to ultimately benefit their children mainly. But I also think it attracts nosey busybodies. I say this after I asked a friend to join the class WhatsApp and she directed me to ask this one lady to join, however, this lady didn’t even have a child in my child’s class. So I am wondering what the motivation is to be an admin on a class WhatsApp where you have no involvement ? This is weird IMO and I just assume it’s curiosity at best. This lady has form for knowing your own children’s schedules better than you do in preparedness for asking for lifts / childcare. I declined to join this class WhatsApp after this I felt it was an invasion of my privacy.

I'm very grateful to those who volunteer as it means I don't have to.

To add there are very strange views about PTAs on MN.

@39and your comment is weird too. A lot of skills needed for a successful PTA are skills people learn through their work.
If someone has a career as an Event Planner they presumably must find it interesting. So why wouldn't doing pretty much the same thing on a volunteer basis be "interesting" ?

I have definitely become a pariah to some. My friends are still my friends. Those who have well behaved children still talk to me. Those whose children are more inclined towards poor behaviour now hate me. Make of that what you will.

@MissBuffyAnneSummers I agree. Really weird attitudes. I find it baffling.

Those I know who are PTA volunteers do it alongside their full time jobs and are basically super human amazing people. They are community minded and most definitely not sitting at home twiddling their fingers the rest of the time. I also disagree about the accusations if nosy busybodies.

I think volunteers are motivated by being closer to the school in order to ultimately benefit their children mainly.

I think I need to file some of these comments under "things that only happen on Mumsnet".

None of my own kids (or the ones I've also brought up) have been the golden children, all were trees or non speaking sheep in the nativity play etc 🤣 The PTA didn't even have that much contact with most of the staff, there's no way it would have benefited our kids. I've also never felt any resentment from other parents, we made helping as accessible as possible too.

Definitely this. Whilst I do volunteer, there are things I would absolutely not want to do and I'm very grateful that others are willing to do those things!

At the primary school my DC went to, the PTA used to be disliked because of the way they behaved towards everyone else, claiming privileges over and above other parents.

Personally I never gave a shit about them and their silly cliques but there used to be a lot of muttering from other parents about it not being fair.

Long time ago now, and my DC are well into their teens. I always found it easier just to drop & run in the mornings and do the reverse in the afternoons, avoiding the ridiculous dramas.

It seems crazy to me that people view the PTA as having time on my hands, in my experience it’s quite the opposite! It’s the parents who work that volunteer on top of that.

In my experience the PTA (parent council where I live) has a mix of folk and personalities. Our PC seems to attract one particular lady who I had to endure for DS's Toddler groups, Nursery, Preschool and some of Primary time, and she's one of the major off putting factors for me getting involved.

I realise that sounds a bit sad, but I feel like I've done my time where she's concerned and I cannot guarantee I wouldn't finally tell her what I thought of all the opinions she's tried to force on me over the years.

(That was cathartic ha ha, sorry).