Parents don't befriend their kids classmates parents?

[SpinachandChocolate]

Hi,

My kid just started primary school. I've heard that parents don't usually make friends with other parents of kids at the same school. My friends and I have also noticed other parents at our different primaries a bit stand-offish.

Is this a thing, and if so why?

Nah, my dad was like this. I think some people feel this way. At least they said stick pins in their own eyes, not PTA cake ladies eyes.

Bold of you to assume that I go to parties

I don't have time. I drop off and pick up around work, I am often rushing back for a meeting then after school activities.
I would love to make friends but honestly in those few minutes I'm at the school gate a smile and hi is all I can offer.

I've made a few school parent friends, mainly from my part time days (it's harder now I'm full time). I've never heard of this as a 'thing' but some parents need to dash off to work so aren't inclined to socialise.

And me - lots.
you’ll be fine OP. Don’t listen to gossip.

Yes, lots of friendships among parents at our primary school. It tails off as people start working more hours/days when the children get older, though.

Yip, same here!

(I don't have kids, so I can't answer for myself.)

But five of my parent's best friends are parents of my classmates from year 1.
They have now been friends for almost 30 years (I am also still friends with my former classmates.)
I should mention that this was/is in a smaller village in the countryside, and all of us also were involved in the same leisure activity.

I had a few of DS's friends' parents dropping them here on the weekend for DS' birthday party. Most stayed for a chat & are lovely. Some commented on having playdates, but that's as far as it goes.

I'd never even met any of these parents before because most parents use the pick up/drop off queue, after school care or grandparents pick them up. DS is in year 5 so we've all been at the school for years.

Parents don't hang around the playground here. There's no parking, and no time.

OP, on mumsnet people always like to boast about how they'd rather die than befriend other parents. in my experience, a handful have no interest, most people are very friendly. Proper friendships develop gradually over years of casual interaction but one of my dc has left school now and I have a ton of parent friends from their year (often our dc weren't particularly friendly or were friends but drifted apart). Be pleasant and upbeat and you will make friends and ignore the miseries.

That's a shame OP, it might happen in time.
We all get along great in my daughters class, i have a few very good friends i met through the school but we all chat and occasionally have a class mums night out.
The other classes all seem to be similar, maybe it's because we're in a village?

Thanks everyone. I think it makes sense. Some people have to rush back to work, others have many afterschool activities, some already have enough friends and some people don't like people or fear they'll be forced to bake cupcakes by smiley PTA ladies. Each to their own but its good to understand it.

I've already started appreciating the friends we have more and got my 4 year old cycling to another park over a mile from the school to meet them. The exercise is doing him good and he's happy meeting his existing friends. Maybe one day we'll be friends with school friends, maybe not. :)

@SpinachandChocolate

Nah, my dad was like this. I think some people feel this way. At least they said stick pins in their own eyes, not PTA cake ladies eyes

I was trolling -sorry... I thought it was so OTT as to be obvious and humorous!

@harerunner no I've actually known people who think like this so I thought it entirely possible.