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Primary education

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Original poster

Walking home alone

51 replies

SamDobson2 · 28/09/2023 22:15

Hi. I have 2 sons aged 7 and 9 both in the same school
I live less than 100 metres from the school gate
The kids cross one road to get home which has a lollipop lady on it
I wrote to the school to say that I want my kids to walk home from school
The kids will be home alone for 30 minutes till an adults gets home
They refused saying it's school policy not to let's kids go on their own
It's not law
It's my decision
The school keeps refusing
They wrote to social services after they questioned one of my sons and found out that the kids are alone at home
For 30 minutes
After several calls between me and social services they finally saw no issue with the set up I have and wrote a letter to confirm this
The school still refuses
I wrote to the chair of governors
Heard nothing back yet
What can I do ?
Can I call police if they refuse to let kids go ?
Should I see a solicitor ?
Can the school do this or is it an abuse of power taking my children's liberty away from them after school ?
Please help

OP posts:

DontBeAPrickDarren · 28/09/2023 22:18

I’m very surprised social care are happy with a 7 and 9 year old being home alone for 30 mins. School have a duty of care, they don’t think it’s safe, I think they’re within their rights not to release them. I guess your option is to find a school that will.

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 28/09/2023 22:23

You know your children best.

I'm in full support of a responsible parents right to make this decision. As long as they have a phone and are contactable at all times.

If social services have said its OK, and you think it is I don't really see how they can prevent it from happening.

Then again, infuriating as it is, if they are offering to look after them for that half hour, happy days?

BoleynMemories13 · 28/09/2023 22:28

I'm sorry, what? A 7 and 9 year old are to go home alone for 30 minutes each day and social services are apparently ok with that?

I'm totally with the school on this one, I would not be comfortable sending a 7 (or 9) year old pupil home alone, knowing their parents won't be home for at least 30 minutes each day (and let's face it, that could easily be longer if there's traffic congestion). They have a duty of care to safe guard your children regardless of whether you are giving permission for it to happen. That is not a safe situation, therefore they were well within their rights to intervene. What if your children lose their key which they're too young to be responsible for? What if you are involved in an accident and don't return? What if they God forbid have an accident in the home before you return. So many reasons why this is not ok.

The most bewildering thing is that you claim ss are ok with this. Tbh yeah I would advise you contact the police. Not because I'm on your side, but because I'd love to hear what they have to say.

If you genuinely can't be there to pick them up at home time you find a childminder or after school club who can look after them until you finish work. The location of your home is totally irrelevant here. Once home they will be totally unsupervised. A 9 year old should not be responsible for a younger sibling, they're barely old enough to look after themselves.

DurhamDurham · 28/09/2023 22:33

I don't think it's the walking home which is the issue. It's the having to let themselves into the house and being home without an adult for 30 mins. I'd be worried sick.

LittleBearPad · 28/09/2023 22:37

I don’t believe that social services think it’s appropriate for a 9 and 7 year old to be home alone. The school is right. Pay for ASC.

Slothlikemum · 28/09/2023 22:39

DurhamDurham · 28/09/2023 22:33

I don't think it's the walking home which is the issue. It's the having to let themselves into the house and being home without an adult for 30 mins. I'd be worried sick.

Is imagine it's both. Most schools have blanket policies to only allow pupils in certain year groups (year 6 in my kids' school) to leave by themselves.

BoleynMemories13 · 28/09/2023 22:40

Also worth baring in mind op that, whilst there is no legal age for leaving children home alone, it is an offence to leave children unattended if it places them at risk, therefore if anything bad happened to them during this time you are ultimately responsible and would highly likely be prosecuted. The school have rejected your request and reported them because they don't wish to be seen as condoning this potentially dangerous action in any way. They are looking out for your children.

Whilst social services might not ultimately have the power to say you can't actually do that, your situation would place them on high alert that your children could potentially be at risk. If anything bad happened, you really could risk losing them for knowingly placing them in danger. Are you prepared to take that risk?

liveeverysecond · 28/09/2023 22:47

I consider myself to be very non judgemental person and I'm feeling very judgy saying this but surely you're not serious? They're still so young and anything could happen, both on walk home and at home. Im genuinely quite gobsmacked and not sure whether to take this post serious or not?! I feel guilty leaving my nearly 11 year old with my 14 year old when I take the dog out!

Terminator7 · 28/09/2023 22:51

It's school policy. If you don't like it, change schools.

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 28/09/2023 22:52

Wow

Agii · 28/09/2023 23:19

Unpopular opinion - School should let them go, especially after the response of social services.

You know your children better, and by all means do what's best for them. 30 minutes is fine, they aren't infants, surely they have been instructed how to deal with various situations.
I do wonder, how kids across Scandinavia and Europe manage just fine. And England is much safer than som Eastern Europeans countries.
If children aren't given any bit of independence, we are going to have incapable teenagers that are kept in 4 walls glued to screens / playing video games just to be kept away from any hazards in the big bad world. Educate kids to help them to get independent.

GuardiansPlayList · 28/09/2023 23:24

You shouldn’t call the police because the school are doing what they think best to keep your children safe. You may think otherwise but staff at the school are entitled to disagree with you. They are not doing anything wrong by not allowing your children to leave - they are acting reasonably.

caban · 28/09/2023 23:27

I guess the only thing you can do now is call the school's bluff.

Instruct them that the children are walking home from school and don't go and collect them.
Either the school will have to release them, or they will have to call the police themselves.

Depends whether you think the children would be distressed.

Rogue1001MNer · 28/09/2023 23:56

If that scenario you're proposing happened at my school @caban then we'd

keep the children
try and contact someone on the contacts provided to collect
if nobody came to collect them by school closing/locking up time, we'd call the police There is absolutely no way we'd let a 7 yr old walk home alone And I can't think op's school would be any different

sillyuniforms · 29/09/2023 00:01

No school these days will approve a 9/7 year old walking home, letting themselves in and being alone. You aren't going to win

Doyoumind · 29/09/2023 00:04

The school will have a blanket policy. If they make an exception, it's not a blanket policy.

I wouldn't leave a 7 and a 9yo alone in the house for 5 minutes, never mind 30

If you spoke to SS, word for word what was the conversation because they may have said that alone wouldn't trigger them taking action - because they're really busy. But I can't imagine they were telling you there was no problem whatsoever with your setup.

curaçao · 29/09/2023 00:04

Solicitor's letter?

Gillstuck · 29/09/2023 00:24

It's the school's policy. You've done the right thing to ask the governors to check it still is the right policy. If they decide to keep it, which I imagine they would, then you work within it or change school's. Pick your battles.

Our school's lollipop man isn't always there. They don't have relief crossing patrols. He was hard enough to recruit. It's a death trap of a road to cross. I wouldn't want my 7 year old to cross it alone if they couldn't find their brother for any reason.

Is there another parent they could walk home with who could drop them off at yours and see them inside safely? The 30 mins at home alone is OK, if they are sensible kids and the 9 year old has a phone. And if it really is just 30 mins.

Thatladdo · 29/09/2023 00:52

Are the school going to detain your children?
If not then they are providing 30 mins extra childcare till you collect them each day.

I suggest your picking unreasonable fights, I'd expect for the "situation" to be watched, Is it just 30 mins? Every day? No chance of it being longer due to delays? Do they have an emergency contact close at hand?

While no age is set in law, its skirting on boundries of whats perceivably appropriate.

caban · 29/09/2023 09:17

Rogue1001MNer · 28/09/2023 23:56

If that scenario you're proposing happened at my school @caban then we'd

keep the children
try and contact someone on the contacts provided to collect
if nobody came to collect them by school closing/locking up time, we'd call the police There is absolutely no way we'd let a 7 yr old walk home alone And I can't think op's school would be any different

Yes but the police would just have to deliver the children home (or tell the school to deliver them home) and warn the school not to detain the children again.
It would solve the OP's problem, but would be upsetting for the children so depends if she is prepared to go that far.

Rabbitbrain · 29/09/2023 09:21

I personally wouldn't do this, but it would have been completely normal a few decades ago so I don't think it's outrageous. Your attitude towards risk is different to the school's but surely as the parent it's your call.

Neverintime · 29/09/2023 09:27

You organise after school club or a childminder, like other parents. My neighbour is like you, she picks up her 7 yo from school then leaves him in the park behind my house for 2 hours. He spends most of the time climbing a very high wall at the back of my house. I have asked him not to and mentioned it to the parents. I am dreading the day when he falls, and has to lay screaming alone until an ambulance arrives as I am too busy looking after my own children to attend to him.

Neverintime · 29/09/2023 09:43

caban · 29/09/2023 09:17

Show quote history

The police can't deliver the DC home if an adult isn't there to care for them, they would contact emergency SS.

caban · 29/09/2023 09:54

Neverintime · 29/09/2023 09:43

The police can't deliver the DC home if an adult isn't there to care for them, they would contact emergency SS.

Show quote history

The OP will be home by the time the school closes, and then they wait for police to be available - it's only 30 minutes the children would have been alone. The head could be waiting for hours for police to be able to attend a non-emergency to deal with a dispute between him and a parent over school policy where the children are perfectly safe.
Emergency social workers also wouldn't get involved in a situation where the children are safe in the care of the school, and have a safe home to go back to.

LittlePlumTree · 29/09/2023 10:05

Not allowed in my kids school and I was reported to ss once for leaving my 9 year old home alone for 20 minutes (once!)

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