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Primary education

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Original poster

Walking home alone

51 replies

SamDobson2 · 28/09/2023 22:15

Hi. I have 2 sons aged 7 and 9 both in the same school
I live less than 100 metres from the school gate
The kids cross one road to get home which has a lollipop lady on it
I wrote to the school to say that I want my kids to walk home from school
The kids will be home alone for 30 minutes till an adults gets home
They refused saying it's school policy not to let's kids go on their own
It's not law
It's my decision
The school keeps refusing
They wrote to social services after they questioned one of my sons and found out that the kids are alone at home
For 30 minutes
After several calls between me and social services they finally saw no issue with the set up I have and wrote a letter to confirm this
The school still refuses
I wrote to the chair of governors
Heard nothing back yet
What can I do ?
Can I call police if they refuse to let kids go ?
Should I see a solicitor ?
Can the school do this or is it an abuse of power taking my children's liberty away from them after school ?
Please help

OP posts:
steppemum · 29/09/2023 10:10

Whatever your opinion, I think you will find that it is pretty standard that no-one (eg school and authoritties) will be happy with the 7 year old walking home.
9 year old, yes you could argue that that is fine, especially given how close you live to school etc.

leaving them alone for 30 minutes every day until the adult gets home, again, 9 year old it is borderline, but with sensible children should be ok. I would not be 100% happy but OK. I would want a contingency plan in place in case the adult is held up etc etc.

But 7 year old, even with sibling and even if sensible? No, being left for 30 minutes every day is not Ok!

CurlewKate · 29/09/2023 10:13

Frankly, I don't believe that Social Services would be OK with this.

Marblessolveeverything · 29/09/2023 10:14

Your permission does not override their policy. I find it very concerning that SS would not issue you some direction in parenting expectations. Letting children walk home and be alone for any time at their ages is not typical.

Can you not hire a childminder for an hour so they are being cared for ?

steppemum · 29/09/2023 10:21

I think PP has it right about SS, their response was probably this would not trigger an investigation if someone said that they were doing it. Which not the same as saying it it ok.

re blanket school policies. Our school's one was that every child was released only to the recognised adult until year 6. Then they were allowed to make their own way home. But that blanket policy did have some flexibility. Like OP we lived very close to the school, and no road to cross. So from summer term of year 4, with my written permission, my dd was allowed to walk home if I could not collect her. That was not daily, but was about once a fortnight. (I work from home). I had to give written permission, they had to be happy that it was safe and that there was someone at home to receive her.

Reugny · 29/09/2023 10:25

CurlewKate · 29/09/2023 10:13

Frankly, I don't believe that Social Services would be OK with this.

I can.

The barrier for concern and action is high due to lack of social workers and support staff.

Bemyclementine · 29/09/2023 10:28

I wonder what would happen if you were 30 minutes late picking them up every day?

steppemum · 29/09/2023 10:30

Bemyclementine · 29/09/2023 10:28

I wonder what would happen if you were 30 minutes late picking them up every day?

you would get onto the radar of the EWO I think. School woudl NOT be happy

Bemyclementine · 29/09/2023 10:43

I'm assuming OP has tried exploring other options. She has my sympathy. My DC are 6 and 8. School doesn't gave after school club. There is 1 local childminder who picks up from the school, but has no spaces, or only has 1 space. I'm supposed to be in the office a certain amount of days each week.

We live MUCH further away from school so no option of DC walking home even when older. It's hard.

Soapboxqueen · 29/09/2023 10:49

I don't think what you are suggesting is ok. At all.

However, there's a few possible outcomes. The school will look at their policies and decide they aren't going to change them. Then you can either change schools (which will have the same or similar policies) or pay for after school care.

You could legally challenge it but I suspect that would be costly and take time. You'll have to pay for after school care in the meantime.

The school decides to relent and allow your children to walk home alone to an empty house. Then any incident and injury no matter how accidental will be treated more seriously since your children were left alone.

That's assuming it's only ever half an hour and you don't get stuck in traffic. Have you thought about what should happen if you are in an accident? How long would it be before someone noticed your children were alone?

Social services won't be interested now because they aren't in danger now. That will change if something happens and the fact that they were alone will be taken into account.

As some have suggested just leaving them at school, if the OP is 30 minutes late the police won't be called. That only happens if there school cannot contact a parent at all or literally everyone is going home for the night. More likely, and what many schools do, is have a policy of late pick up being charged a care fee or placed in an after-school club which will be payable. So essentially paying for after-school care.

letstrythatagain · 29/09/2023 11:01

Surprised at the responses here. We used to walk home from school most days and wait a while (under an hour) for my parents to arrive home from work. Roughly the same ages, probably a bit younger tbh. We just sat and watched tv!

steppemum · 29/09/2023 11:01

More likely, and what many schools do, is have a policy of late pick up being charged a care fee or placed in an after-school club which will be payable. So essentially paying for after-school care.

not true.
There is not in the UK a system of charging for late pick up in schools. There may not be an after school club at this school, many schools don't have them.

What is more likely is that this will become a huge issue between OP and school with her being called in to meetings, Education Welfare Officer getting involved, and ultimately possibly her children being removed from the school because she is not following their rules over collection. It may trigger a SS referral and so on.

steppemum · 29/09/2023 11:02

letstrythatagain · 29/09/2023 11:01

Surprised at the responses here. We used to walk home from school most days and wait a while (under an hour) for my parents to arrive home from work. Roughly the same ages, probably a bit younger tbh. We just sat and watched tv!

That was then and this is now.
Most schools have policies around age they allow kids to walk. Typically it is year 5 or 6 which is age 10 or 11.

steppemum · 29/09/2023 11:09

can I just say - a child is not developementally able to accurately judge the speed of an oncoming car until they are about 10.
So children crossing roads under age of 10 are much, much more likely to get hit. It doesn't matter how much you teach them, they cannot make good decsions about the speed of that oncoming car, they literally can't see it.
So yes, allowing a younger child to walk home does have considerable risks.

FrenchandSaunders · 29/09/2023 11:19

I'm usually on these threads to say everyone is too uptight these days and children have no freedom. However, I think in this case you are wrong. 7 and 9 is too young to walk home to an empty house and be alone for 30+ minutes.
Pay for after school club or a childminder for another couple of years.

Soapboxqueen · 29/09/2023 11:29

steppemum · 29/09/2023 11:01

More likely, and what many schools do, is have a policy of late pick up being charged a care fee or placed in an after-school club which will be payable. So essentially paying for after-school care.

not true.
There is not in the UK a system of charging for late pick up in schools. There may not be an after school club at this school, many schools don't have them.

What is more likely is that this will become a huge issue between OP and school with her being called in to meetings, Education Welfare Officer getting involved, and ultimately possibly her children being removed from the school because she is not following their rules over collection. It may trigger a SS referral and so on.

Plenty of schools put late picked up children into after-school care for which there is a charge.

Obviously if there isn't after-school care on site then that doesn't happen.

Having re-read my post a typo means it looks like I'm saying the school itself will charge.

I'm not. I'm saying some schools will put them into after-school care.

caban · 29/09/2023 12:31

CurlewKate · 29/09/2023 10:13

Frankly, I don't believe that Social Services would be OK with this.

Even if an individual social worker thought it wasn't a great idea, it wouldn't meet the threshold for statutory involvement.
Social care thresholds are HIGH.

LittlePlumTree · 29/09/2023 12:34

letstrythatagain · 29/09/2023 11:01

Surprised at the responses here. We used to walk home from school most days and wait a while (under an hour) for my parents to arrive home from work. Roughly the same ages, probably a bit younger tbh. We just sat and watched tv!

Things change, my kids school aren’t allowed to leave until year 6

caban · 29/09/2023 12:35

steppemum · 29/09/2023 11:01

More likely, and what many schools do, is have a policy of late pick up being charged a care fee or placed in an after-school club which will be payable. So essentially paying for after-school care.

not true.
There is not in the UK a system of charging for late pick up in schools. There may not be an after school club at this school, many schools don't have them.

What is more likely is that this will become a huge issue between OP and school with her being called in to meetings, Education Welfare Officer getting involved, and ultimately possibly her children being removed from the school because she is not following their rules over collection. It may trigger a SS referral and so on.

Children can't be permanently excluded from school because their parent wants them to walk themselves home or because the parent is 30 minutes late every day.

School could put the children into after school care (if there is one) and try to charge, but given the parent doesn't have any contract with the after school club and didn't ask or agree to it, I can't see they would get very far with it. They'd have to wait until several hundred £ worth of 'fees' had built up and then take the parent to court.

caban · 29/09/2023 12:40

Marblessolveeverything · 29/09/2023 10:14

Your permission does not override their policy. I find it very concerning that SS would not issue you some direction in parenting expectations. Letting children walk home and be alone for any time at their ages is not typical.

Can you not hire a childminder for an hour so they are being cared for ?

It's not really social services role to direct parenting expectations - I mean, they could offer advice but parents work with social care on a voluntary basis unless or until the risk of harm is significant enough that it becomes a child protection issue.
Healthy, well cared for children walking home from school and waiting in a safe, clean house for 30 minutes is very unlikely to be a child protection issue.

Social workers really don't have the power that a lot of parents think they do - they can't order parents to do what they want with the threat of taking children away unless there is a real danger to the children.

Stressfordays · 29/09/2023 12:43

I'm quite chilled but even I think 7 and 9 is too young to leave alone for 30mins every day. Especially with traffic etc. You could easily be delayed. Is there not an afterschool club?

user1483387154 · 29/09/2023 12:49

I live in mainland Europe and children from 6 years old walk to school and back, or take busses there etc alone from this age. It was a complete culture shock for me, but they are more than capable once they know the route

Justlikeme234 · 29/09/2023 13:02

They shouldn't be home alone. Get them to stay at after school club or go with a friend nearby for half an hour if you are close with the mum and she doesn't mind.

Iwasafool · 29/09/2023 13:26

steppemum · 29/09/2023 11:09

can I just say - a child is not developementally able to accurately judge the speed of an oncoming car until they are about 10.
So children crossing roads under age of 10 are much, much more likely to get hit. It doesn't matter how much you teach them, they cannot make good decsions about the speed of that oncoming car, they literally can't see it.
So yes, allowing a younger child to walk home does have considerable risks.

In this case the lollipop lady will be the one judging so it should be fine.

Marblessolveeverything · 29/09/2023 13:29

@caban in Ireland there was an option to "strongly encourage" engagement with parenting courses where shall we say less than ideal situations are but not requiring intervention. In the past this tended to head off more serious issues where the issue was lack of knowledge/cultural awareness. Sometimes people, sadly may have not had healthy upbringing and they were not aware of the social norms - hopefully the OP can engage a little support.

StillWantingADog · 29/09/2023 13:34

My kids are similar ages and situation but we work from home, often on meetings

school are not happy about them walking home (it’s not even 2 minutes’ walk) by themselves but are not stopping them. I would expect school to be concerned if they were coming home to an empty house at that age though.

you need to arrange after school club or childminder or arrange something with another parent