What would you do? (Switch primary?)

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It’s a long one but don’t want to drip feed anything.

DD started reception this September. We chose the local catchment school after much paining over the decision ( a few under subscribed schools around so we did have a choice to a degree).

The school never gave me a good feeling, not a bad feeling either - but often you hear people saying ‘oh you’ll know which school’ well I was never feeling that. Nothing drastic, maybe just lacking warmth. Two from entry, full subscribed, feels massive.
We can walk there. We have a lovely childminder doing pick up and after school (after school club too hectic for DC) New head just joined, very good by all accounts.

Im still not feeling great.

Only 3 weeks in, but I’m just not sure we’ve got it right. DD is bright and able, but also sensitive and not very robust in terms of navigating tricky behaviour from other kids (was this way at nursery too). Sometimes finds it hard to click with others too- outside of school/nursery seems fine and able to make friends well (at dancing and swimming etc). Low engagement from parents- 10 parents from 60 attended the parent workshop for example (I know work prohibits this for many). Interest clubs but no spaces for all those interested. All just feels very anonymous and clinical. One school trip in foundation. Ofsted outstanding but 13 years ago… no chance it would be now. Vast majority of kids there will go to local secondary which we don’t plan on using.

She said she’s enjoying school but she’s not excited- she is so flat. I feel like her little sparkle has gone. To be expected in first half term as so tired? Been some pushing and shoving at school (to be expected?) which I know has rattled her.

A school which wasn’t an option to us due to no wrap around now has wrap around and has spaces.

Very small school. Stand alone reception of 15 (teacher plus TA), then combined 1&2, 3&4, 5&6. Not fully subscribed. Attracts families from nearby town as village doesn’t have population of school age kids. We visited and felt it very warm and friendly. They do a lot of trips and visits including a good few whole school ones. Strong ‘house’ system. Gets good results of late for whatever that is worth. Quite churchy which we are not though can appreciate the values. Recent Ofsted good. Siams excellent. 10 min drive away. A range of interest clubs. DC would have to attend the school after school club instead of her lovely childminder which would be a real blow to her. Appears to just be more personal. Kids go to various secondaries as attending from across a couple of catchments.

it’s so so small, it’s not walking distance.. fewer friends to choose from, would we be mad to consider moving her? (Next DC starts next sept so need this sorted ahead of application window closing in jan)

My experience is small schools are great in Infants, but can become claustrophobic in later years.

Also if your kids are one academic year apart, they will be in the same class a few times... depending on sibling dynamic, this can be be great or dreadful.

Yes, they would - 3 times. They’re good pals at the moment, share a room through choice etc but I appreciate this could change and be a blessing or a curse for them down the line.

I absolutely get your point re infants/juniors. What they need at 4 is different to 10/11.. I just don’t know how to navigate that.

Not to sound too dramatic (I’m going to- apologies) but my heart sinks every time I do drop off currently :( tough going when there’s nothing especially ‘wrong’ with the place. Really consciously not projecting this onto DD, like I say- she’s happy enough

cant settle on a decision either way 😬

Would you be able to give an indication of where the school is that she attends? It sounds so similar to our local primary in Yorkshire and I would be very interested to hear the feedback.

I think I'd do some digging locally and find out as much about the school as possible.

There's a village school local to here with the intake/merged classes you describe. I know a few kids there who on the whole have a good experience. The most common downside I hear about it is that the transition from the little village school to the very big secondary can be quite a leap. However the school have a thorough transition programme in place with multiple visits to the secondary as year 6 progresses.

I decided against this particular school for my daughter because I'm just not convinced by merged classes, especially for the brighter kids. My DD was at an infant school with merged classes and in y1 was doing the y2 work. Great in some respects but not good when you consider that she'd be repeating that work in y2 with little sense of progression. I think it depends how the teachers handle it.

Have messaged you East

Good advice @INeedNewShoes

Older DC is very able academically so far. I have no idea which environment would be if most benefit to her- not adverse to tutoring her to support/stretch as needed but want her to enjoy not endure school. Younger DC, too young to know - but we’ll do everything we need to support her abilities whatever they are.

combined classes seems impossible but must be working for them given the results - looks like a tough teaching gig to get right

I think you’d be mad to move her. She’s three weeks in and not expressed any dislike of the school. Sharing a class with sister? But no. Sharing year groups? Big no. We have a tiny school near here and by the end of yr6 they have so few pupils. Far less chance of friends if she finds it hard to connect.

parent workshops are not an indicator of parent engagement. Is there a WhatsApp group? If not, start one, suggest a meet up. Be proactive.

school isn’t nursery and children’s needs change as they grow.

combined classes seems impossible but must be working for them given the results - looks like a tough teaching gig to get right

i forgot this point, probably doesn’t attract the best teachers

with smaller schools any bad apples (poor leadership) deeply impact the whole team.

This is absolutely not lost on me.. they seemed to have a small cohesive team but who really knows from the outside.
Governers meeting mins and ofstead didn’t flag anything untoward.

I did think that if the head or one of the long standing teachers were to leave, some or all of the points that appeal could be lost but then of course I’m just dooming because I don’t know what to do

I'd stay where she is for sure, or at least give it until Xmas. As someone who went to a "small school" (though no mixing of year groups) by year 4 it was hell on earth to be honest. Agree with PPs

I think you’re right in giving it a chance. You are, of course.

Just hard seeing my lovely girl be a bit flat.

Mumsnet is incredibly negative about small schools. I teach in one slightly smaller than you describe and in 8 years I've never known a pupil to leave in order to make more friends or because it's claustrophobic. We have siblings together in classes (sometimes 3 siblings in a 3 year group class) and they generally love it. Don't know why it is a 'big no' to a pp above. It's unusual to read a negative comment from someone who actually sends their children to a small school, it's generally what they have 'heard'. I think our children get far more enrichment opportunities than my child does at her 2 form entry primary.

Mumsnet is incredibly negative about small schools

you do realises mumsnet is about 10million individuals don’t you, it’s not group think….

I'd say go with your gut instinct

Small schools have limitations after ks1. Usually music, sport and drama. Anything that benefits from a bigger pool of Dc. It’s very possible Dc are on the edge of tight knit friendship groups too (usually because parents are friends) . If Dc fall out or don’t gel - what then? How many other alternatives for friends? I’m assuming this school has around 100 Dc. 1 teacher for l5 pupils is costing a lot. Is it financially secure?

They might have more trips and obvious parental engagement from wfh parents or stay at home parents which might be good but not always an indication of a good school.

The personality of Dd might just be down to processing change. Getting the hang of school. Many Dc don’t enthuse about it endlessly. My DD1 did. DD2 didn’t. They do take a while to find their niche and friends. They have a navigate a new situation. So i would give it a bit longer. By the sounds of it, the small school will still have spaces.

Thanks for this.
Very fair points.
I dont think the bigger school as their act together in terms of music/drama/sport at the moment.. but time for improvement under new head.

re finances, as far as I can see in governess reports/mins, finances ok. Uplift in student numbers projected due to offering wrap around. But I’m not naive to budget limitations. Population would mean parents would be able to support the enrichment activities / trips etc (not sure if that’s how it works, can they asks parents to pay?).

it’s so tricky. It just seems so much nicer for want of a better word. Calmer.
But friendship issues is a biggy isn’t it.

will see how we go over the next few weeks.

oh for a crystal ball hey!

Parents make “voluntary” contributions for school trips. All schools must have a charging policy and it should be on their web sites. Most schools need the majority of parents to contribute to travel costs. Teaching and learning activities are free but not entrance fees. Parents often help on trips too. However many schools cut down on trips if parents say they cannot afford them because paying for all who cannot/will not pay is beyond the school budget. PTAs could donate money for trips too.

To be honest one school trip a year sounds quite normal.
I would stay where she is for now. Maybe arrange a couple of 121 play dates to make her feel more comfortable. I think feeling a bit flat at first is not unusual. DD1 was super excited about school before she started, then by her first half term was over going back every day. I think the realisation of the daily grind can be different from their initial perceptions. I also wouldn't underestimate the effort involved in having to make new friends, be your best self etc. Am currently seeing this all again with my youngest at secondary!

Like others I'm am engaged parent (PTA etc) but never go to any of the workshops because they're always when I'm at work.

Ofsted outstanding but 13 years ago… no chance it would be now

It hasn't been inspected for 13 years??

Unfortunately coach prices rising coupled with more parents struggling is making school trips more unfeasible... DD has one next term and its £10 each just for the coach!

Just hard seeing my lovely girl be a bit flat

You say she's flat, but as you've said in your OP it could just as easily be that she's tired. It's been 3 weeks, she has a busy day at school and goes to a childminder, then add on reading at home and it's easy to see why she's not bubbling with excitement every day.

I would stay at the current school. A school which can't fill a year group of 15 would worry me, as would having to be in the same class as her sibling.

I actually send my children to a small school, and I would be very wary of sending a child that ‘finds it hard to click with others’ to one. We are considering pulling my eldest out next year because he has such a narrow friendship group (we’re down to one or two children now), and simply will not ‘click with’ any of the other children in his year group (which is around 15 children). My youngest is a different kettle of fish, friends with everyone - but also, his cohort is a different kettle of fish and full of children he will ‘click with’. It’s such a gamble with small schools. It could be fab, friendships wise, or it could be awful. I myself went to a tiny school, and it was awful. The other risk with small schools is staff sickness. We’ve had a horrific couple of years (who hasn’t, I know), with the school at times being run by TA’s, the head, whatever random supply they could get their hands on, because so many teachers were off sick. One memorable day saw one single class teacher in school. It’s a risk, and if I had the choice of a decent, larger school, I think I’d definitely move my eldest, at least. But it’s all similar sized village schools round our way.

I think choosing a school is really stressful. There is always the feeling of "what if I've not got it right...?"

I think the mixed year groups would put me off the small school. I don't think size is necessarily relevant - DC went to a 3 form intake school and it was lovely and nurturing. It never felt flat and impersonal. Which sort of comes back to gut feeling (somewhat unhelpfully!).

I think I'd give the current school a bit longer it's only been a few weeks and sending your firstborn off to school is always a slightly odd feeling I think.

Unfortunately, yes this is the case.