School Uniform for a Boy - thoughts

[SantaMariaJa]

Throwaway username for this one

my DS is starting primary school in September. We have been talking about uniform etc and looking at pictures/he has seen the other local children in uniform, and he kept saying he wants a school dress when he goes. I just let it slide hoping he would forget about it.

we have started shopping for uniform and he is still saying the same thing.

I kind of jokingly mentioned it to his teacher when we met at stay and play and she said that he could wear one if he wanted to.

I don’t want him to. For a start, I don’t want anyone to take the piss, see him as “that weird kid who wears a dress”.

He really likes dressing up etc and I am sure this is the reason he wants to, he definitely has never said that he sees himself as a girl or anything. He has princess dresses at home he wears, just as much as he sometimes wears a policeman or doctor outfit. It’s just play. He does occasionally wear his Princess dress to Pre School.

I am worried that if he went to school in a dress the adults etc would put too much on it and assume it was some gender thing when really he just think it’s looks nice/is fun, and that would be so confusing for him.

obviously this is something that is hard to explain to a nearly five year old. How would you handle it? Do you think it will just blow over when he gets to school and his friends are wearing trousers/shorts?

DH has actually said just let him get on it and wear one if he wants but he spent his school life as golden boy and hasn’t really considered the possible negatives.

I feel like just putting my foot down with no real explanation is confusing for DS when it’s no big deal at home. He is being very insistent about it. I know I could just say no but I want going to school to be positive and not started off with whingeing about uniform.

I know to some that this must sound a bit making a mountain out of a molehill scenario but he’s my first to go to school and as someone who was bullied relentlessly I am so anxious about it!

Not allowed at our school!

That rules out half of clarks!! My school is v strict on uniform but they are allowed.

Ds said that when he was going into juniors he was going to wear a dress because it was the only way out of wearing a tie.
When it came to, he didn't actually want to although there were his sisters' old dresses that he could have put on.

My feeling was that if he was more comfortable with it, I had no issue, but realistically there's the potential to always be known as the boy who wore a dress, which can easily tip into bullying. So at 7yo I'd have told him that and let him make his own decision. At 4yo, I wouldn't have let him do it.

Although actually now he's 16yo, I think he'd have coped fine because to him comfort in clothes is above all else, and doesn't care what others say-he'll just reply that at least he's comfortable. He's been pretty much the oldest one in shorts all through the winter since year 8, and at one point some of them called him "shorts" but he didn't care. He'd have cared far more if I'd insisted he wore trousers.
But at 4yo, you can't tell if that will be the case.

So if anyone is interested in the update - we compromised at shorts but the school cardigan rather than the sweater … and actually it’s not a “girly” looking cardi anyway so I don’t think it’ll raise any comments.

result!

As much as I love the fact DS really knows his own mind… god it’s hard work sometimes!

I think that's a good compromise.

Theres a boy in my DCs class (going into Year 5) who wears the school cardigans and no-one cares, there's also many girls who wear the jumpers who seem to get on ok, so i think your DS will be fine